Raptor News: NO December commissions; am moving??

Hi everyone! Fast version of this post is: I will NOT be taking any commissions in December. I am moving back to Boston. I may run a holiday themed YCH later in the month if I have the time and energy.

Okay, the rest of this is gonna get a bit mopey and personal.

I moved here to upper New York state about two years ago, lived with two friends and, briefly, Tsumi. The two roommates want to move out on their own soon. I don't have any other friends in the area and never learned how to drive, so I basically have no choice but to move back to the apartment I lived in back near Boston.

Listen, I'll just be blunt, because I know some of you care a lot about me: I'm really not doing well lately. This move is very stressful for me, because it feels like the last two years have just be some waste of time, some bizarre fugue state where I moved away for what seems like no reason. The fact that I have to move back into the same apartment I was in before (cleaned, re carpeted, and with no roommate, to be fair) makes me feel like my life has just regressed back a major step. It's like I've been here in Buffalo on borrowed time, living beyond my means.

I lost both my parents in 2017. I'm pretty sure I still haven't 100% come to terms with it, partially because I lived far away for all of it, only flying back for funerals.

All this is adding up to not really the best mental state for a while (the current political climate isn't exactly helping my mood either). I'm lacking in energy, it's getting harder to focus on work, and my confidence is at a low. That's part of why I'm taking December off from commissions (not exactly a cheap thing to do, by the way); I'm burnt out and especially with a move, packing and unpacking, I need time to breathe.

I'm not in dire straits or anything. I've got somewhere to go, and in all honesty, I'll be happy to be back with family and friends and a town with things to do in it (really am in the middle of no where here in NY). I'll be fine and things are gonna get better. I just need some time and space.

I'll still be doing Order of the Black Dog, a post for Cushy Pen, and likely run a YCH.

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Added:	6 years, 7 months ago 28 Nov 2018 01:42 CET

8 Comments on this Journal

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starlyte

6 years, 7 months ago

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Don't really look at this as having wasted two years so much as you hit a roadblock and gotta take a step back to go the right direction. You're saying you aren't too happy where you are and being back there will make you happy so I say its a good move. I would definitely try and learn to drive though. Makes things way easier even if you live in a city and don't need to.

Take ya time and do this move and get things back situated. Your health is way more important than supplying us with arts.

Immelmann

6 years, 7 months ago

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@ starlyte

Yeaahh, gonna really try to bust my ass about getting my learner permit back once I'm all settled in.

starlyte

6 years, 7 months ago

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@ Immelmann

Usually easier in smaller towns. Or atleast it was back when I got mine.

lordsergal

6 years, 7 months ago

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@ starlyte

Also, ask around about the instructors. This sounds stupid but I wasted my first test because I was doing fine until out of the blue the instructor asked me to turn onto a formerly one lane street converted into a two lane but still too small for two cars to fit comfortably, with a car illegally parked right on the corner and another coming the opposite way. I did the best I could and still ended up failing because "I was too close to the (illegally) parked car". Found out later that the guy was a total hardass who finds a way to fail everyone on their first test.

Furlips

6 years, 7 months ago

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Hugs

Bunners

Drakue

6 years, 7 months ago

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Take the time and space you need, Rebecca. Your health and wellbeing come first and foremost, just make sure to remember to eat and commission enough rent money.