So my stepdad died. It happened about 7 or 8 weeks ago. He had a heart attack in the house. My mother was freaking out and told me to call an ambulance. I tried to help, but it feels like I had to watch him die in my arms. Not sure which hurt more, watching him die or listening to my mothers cries of anguish when the EMT told her he couldn't be saved.
I know logically I did all I could do to help, but emotionally I still wonder if there was anything I could do. My mother is finally able to sleep in her bed again. Not sure how I am doing, but since I am keeping up with routine I must be doing somewhat okay.
I am posting this mainly as a form of self therapy. If anyone has suggestions I am open to them.
I have been taking some time to cry so I know that I am not completely numb to the situation. I know I need to talk about it so here it is. I don't want my family to worry and honestly I wasn't sure about talking here.
So thank you, those that chose to listen.
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6 years, 5 months ago
11 Jun 2018 20:26 CEST
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