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elderflowerpudding

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hi out there in the furry world. i have a confession to make; and, being a liberally trained writer, i make the bold decision to say it clearly.

i'm a biological male pretending to be female online. the reason why would take a long time to explain, and i'm too scared to right now. i'd like to be able to go to furry cons and meet people who might like me for me, but i don't own a fursuit, and for the sake of his reputation i'm ashamed to have a beard next to my boyfriend
kitsuneyoukai
kitsuneyoukai
, who is straight in his sexual preference and won't fuck me.

is there any biological female out there willing to hear my story, and if they like it, hold me, kiss me, and fuck me, the way i've never been fulfilled? maybe even because you're interested based on what you can tell of my character through my comics writing lately? kitsu and i have talked about it, and he says "ok." i'm looking for someone as kind and honest as i think i am and who won't mind if i love and cuddle with kitsu too, since i already do. open invite to screw me over, i guess that's what this is. please use your conscience.

i'm 33, white skinned, brown haired, and brown eyed. i'm 175lbs, not unfit, and my cock is average, though i've been told it's "really nice" irl. and i like doing what i do now: living in the middle of nowhere with a like-minded person who likes doing the kind of art i do with me outside the noise of civilization. i'm sure that's a big red flag to most of you, signaling that i'm dangerous and crazy. so be it; it doesn't bother me for people to think that (except it really does).

i'm not dangerous, at least kitsu and char don't think i am, and neither did the other friends i had before i lost hope and gave up. but maybe i am crazy. we all are, aren't we, and no one ever says it clearly. i'm sorry if this is just selfish of me. it's not a virtue signal either, but there's no way for you to know that. just ignore it if you want. or whatever ._.

i just realized that i might as well, since i'm trained to feel like i'm getting made fun of every time i open my mouth anyway, no matter how well constructed or intentioned my message. have at me.
Viewed: 1,475 times
Added: 5 years, 10 months ago
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FireBob121093
5 years, 10 months ago
oh. well I'm terribly sorry about all this. I didn't know
elderflowerpudding
5 years, 10 months ago
i'm sorry too. i think i've been very mean to you v.v
FireBob121093
5 years, 10 months ago
it's alright dude. at least we're friends that's all.
elderflowerpudding
5 years, 10 months ago
i'm glad we are ^^
BunnyArtist47
5 years, 10 months ago
This is all quite interesting. But nothing I have not experienced.

Have you tried finding open-ended or swinger couples?
elderflowerpudding
5 years, 10 months ago
probably a good idea
Nopast
5 years, 10 months ago
From the time we spent, i can vouch for a pretty sweet person.
elderflowerpudding
5 years, 10 months ago
thank you <3 i would have responded much sooner to this, but you know.. there's both the problem of having time to get around to this stuff and the problem of emotions getting in the way of actions. i saw and smiled at this a while ago, and only now can i face it and say i appreciate it. i feel guilty about how i treated you still. not that i wanted to be more than friends, but you were part of my friend group back when i felt ashamed of myself every day. i'm still amazed you don't hate me, actually. so seeing you say those nice things half makes me worried that you're lying, if i'm honest. but i also believe you, because i know i'm scared to accept people liking me for who i am. so it's important to me you said so here. thank you = )
Nopast
5 years, 10 months ago
Got no reason to lie. I mean, yes, we're not together like we were back then as friends, and i know that you loath me just because you connect me with that time, but even then you're still a good person, because it never felt like an act towards me =x
Nopast
5 years, 10 months ago
because your kindness never felt like an act towards me*

Sorry, i should wake up more before replying properly
elderflowerpudding
5 years, 10 months ago
yeah, it's absolutely about that time in my life >-< i'm sorry. i'd be willing to talk again, if you wanna message me on discord! (address is on this page somewhere) i just always felt bad we had nothing to talk about, and you were so nice to me
Nopast
5 years, 10 months ago
Nah it's fine Twi, i never was much of a good talk after all, and i feel like i would be forcing you to talk, which isn't really fun at all. Thank you for the offer though, i mean it
elderflowerpudding
5 years, 10 months ago
<3 okay. and i appreciate your attitude about it. there is a little bit of a knot to untie there, isn't there? you don't have to be meek either. i won't bite~

edit: and i won't swallow you whole either :| fuckin vore stealing my words
Nopast
5 years, 10 months ago
You only ever nibble~
I mean, i just think that even if we got back intot laking with one another, there would always be that past looming over it. Why make you keep feeling it if it doesn't need to be, right? ^^;

Also what knot to untie? =O Knots are made for tying
elderflowerpudding
5 years, 10 months ago
heehee <3 yes, that is the reaction i was looking for, about the knotting~

see, but i'm just a slut. i do my best to do what people want of me. maybe you'd be happier just mating me over and over without talking much~
Nopast
5 years, 10 months ago
<3

Where's the fun in that though? Sure, sex is fun. Sex with you was really really fun, but, just sex gets boring fast. If it was for just that i could hit up one of the almost infinite sea of rp accounts. What i also enjoyed was just talking to you, it made things a lot more fun for me
elderflowerpudding
5 years, 10 months ago
aw... that's very sweet >#<

i've always been way more comfortable fucking than talking. it's a goal both people are working toward, and it's fun. that's all. i'm very nervous and can hardly relax usually
Nopast
5 years, 10 months ago
^^ just saying how if elt about it.

Also, i feel like i've gotten worse at the whole rp thing, so much so that i think that i'd make it boring for you if we did do that x3;
elderflowerpudding
5 years, 10 months ago
let's talk in PMs, then, if you do want to continue talking. i'm not pushing you to at all. and i'm always nervous.

just saying, it's much more convenient and low pressure to respond when we get the chance and not on the spot, yeah?
Chocochu
5 years, 10 months ago
your yoshi character is very fun chu I bet the real chu is fun too umm female irl or not that's all good to me chu I like just about anychu I enjoy here well being my cute soft squishy chocolate Rai heh~ o^ω^o
elderflowerpudding
5 years, 10 months ago
*wraps arms around you, nuzzles and coos in your ear* squishy just like me <3
Chocochu
5 years, 10 months ago
*blushes brightly as I give you a cute smile as I nuzzle back* yea chu! im like a squishy umm chocolately marshmallow rai~ <3 *my choco rai tail wraps around you gently* Twilight umm chu is my favorite Yoshi here don't ever change~ *giggles smiling brightly as I continue nuzzling you blushing more*

elderflowerpudding
5 years, 10 months ago
*nuzzles you more* <3 i've come back to this journal after a while, and your love made me feel good again =333
Chocochu
5 years, 10 months ago
dawwwwwwwwwww your welcome Miss Twilight chu~ *licks your big soft yoshi nose* <3
elderflowerpudding
5 years, 10 months ago
<3 *pets your very cute ears* you know, you're welcome to message me too. you can find my discord name by ctrl+f this page
JuniperSkunk
5 years, 10 months ago
Being in an open relationship myself, it can be difficult at times. If you find the right person to have an open relationship with it can be very rewarding, but a lot of work.

Don't feel ashamed about your physical form. You are you, there's nothing to be ashamed of, if someone has an issue with how you present yourself online you shouldn't care. I remember you mentioned this to me a while back and I was happy hear a bit about it, you are a fantastic person and deserve the best~

I'm currently transitioning, from male to female (about 3 years now hormones) there are options out there if you feel it is right for you ; 3
elderflowerpudding
5 years, 10 months ago
thank you for saying so. i really appreciate the kind attention you're willing to give me. it's hard not talking to anyone, and i couldn't stand it anymore. people shouldn't have to go through this
JuniperSkunk
5 years, 10 months ago
I'm always here for you when I can be X3
Heck I need to add you on telegram too >u>
elderflowerpudding
5 years, 10 months ago
i think we'd have a lot to talk about, but for some reason i can never bring myself to message you on discord. i think maybe i find you too attractive and am scared our personalities don't line up well. cuz your character is my type, and that's most of what attracts me to a person. i think we're friends, though, is that right? =3
catprowler
5 years, 10 months ago
I wish I were half a bold... or is it brave as you.

I got no one, feel like no one will ever want me..  and I'm older than you.
elderflowerpudding
5 years, 10 months ago
man, i wish i could tell you how clearly enough. i really wish. i pushed myself to the edge and back over it more than a few times. what i did was talk with a trusted partner about what i really wanted out of life and discovered the real difference between a fetish and a fantasy. if you're a porn addict, that's where your misunderstanding is too. don't contrast things when you should be comparing them. if you compare them, you'll find the difference using your intellect instead of your genius. for a lot of people, their genius is really chatty, especially for people who express themselves as furries or fantasies, and you have to learn how to distract it right to shut it up so you can think clearly. that usually means caring for yourself ahead of others, the one thing you probably don't want to do because you probably don't know how, and that's not your fault. so first, relax. then reread this message.
catprowler
5 years, 10 months ago
For me it's more of a difficulty making connections.  I can honestly say I know a lot of people and getting to know more all the time.   But the depth of connections, I think many of them would call me a really good friend because I'm one of the ones that can be relied on...  However I don't seem to feel the same, or maybe its that I just can't recognize it.

I've never been able to truly reach out to someone with out a lot of time and effort.  I can count on one hand the number of females that I felt comfortable with and I can use the other hand for the males.  The issue for me is those that I've truly made a connection with are already claimed or taken in one way or another (minus the one that feels they won't ever go that way.)

In a way I gave up long ago on being able to find someone and started waiting for someone to find me.   That is the thing that is the hardest for me.  I'm a rather passive person... It's the best description that I can make of myself.  Not submissive but passive, I'd sit here alone by myself or jump up and leave if only given the invitation.
elderflowerpudding
5 years, 10 months ago
i had lots of friends when i was in the habit of giving in to desperation too. i can only assume you and i have the same root problem. otherwise, i don't know what to say and can only say i feel bad for you, which i do. but that's hardly helpful. if this doesn't apply to you, feel free to ignore it, it's ok. i'm writing this because i want to

for me, it was that people could sense that i wasn't emotionally ready to mate yet, i.e. i didn't know what i wanted out of my own life. now i feel i do because i've painstakinginly forced myself, thankfully with kitsu's help, to think through the full nature of my own problems and can take steps to solve them. make sure you're with someone you trust before you do this yourself, if you haven't already

growing up, i never wanted to even just tell anyone they were hurting me because nobody showed me properly me how to ask for what i wanted without pissing them off, so everyone constantly cucked me over, and i couldn't bring myself to tell them. turns out a girl will only realize she want your seed when she has to look at it spilling elsewhere. so more cucking happens because people are made to feel guilty for having genitals, the only solution before we invented, you know, all this birth control tech we have now.

it's only 0.0001% your fault, so forgive yourself as long as your goal is to forgive others and not hurt them yourself. the species needs better guidance and parenting. we should be allowed to play free and naked when we're children to learn fucking naturally, but the law won't allow that because the temptation can turn good people who haven't understood themselves yet into rapists.

and our parents should teach us about sex better, with examples, instead of being ashamed of it themselves because they've used their ability to have children for self indulgence instead of for good. because they can't read minds and are tight/hard up themselves, everyone screws the strong kids and screws over the meek kids, some of whom are naturally meek because of their sense of fairness. and i'm sure that process can happen at any point in life. people will only change when they have to for others.

fantasizing is fine and hot and gets people off hard, but it's more fulfilling to just talk to somebody around your own age about you. at least they'll still be honest if you ask them if they'll listen to you, and a lot of them want to. if someone hates you for just asking, they're probably hurting too bad themselves to help you. and you're hurting too bad to help them. it has to end somewhere, so that's why i was brave.

i'm afraid, and i don't know the solution, but the alternative is bullshit. we've got to live in a world where we can love each other, especially us furries.
catprowler
5 years, 10 months ago
True in most parts I think.  I will only add to that the fact I am a middle child.  

I know many people love to put labels on things, one thing I seriously hate but growing up the only way I could get anything is to force everything to be split evenly.  Often I was referred to as the "Good Kid" cause I almost never got in trouble and never wanted to.  The problem is I've learned, or forced to be good and nice for so long it keeps me from taking many chances, why I call you brave.  

In all honesty I've never been with anyone significantly and never done much so just a little bit of experience.  For so long I was fine by myself, that is what I told others and myself when in reality I've come to realize the exact opposite.  I know the possibility of conncetions are there but...  I just can't seem to help myself to them.

P.S. The most personal I've been on this site just to let you know.
elderflowerpudding
5 years, 10 months ago
ok, i'm ready to respond to this.

not sure if i mentioned this elsewhere
growing up, my best friend was the middle child, a brother between two sisters. of course, me being the way i am, i had a crush on one sister, then later, both sisters at the same time. as well as lots and lots of other girls, as i'm sure is normal. but my family has schizophrenic tendencies, so it was an easy way out of my frustration to live vicariously through him. but i also felt so hurt by it and could never tell him and overdeveloped my moral compass. story as old as time, i'm sure.

if you were like i was, i can't imagine how fucking frustrating it must have been for you all the time. i always forced things to be divided evenly because i was too meek to fight for a more appropriate portion because it was obvious i'd lose. he was physically stronger than i was too, by lots, and *possibly* hit me once? he at least beat up my plush toy, which was very painful. even though i'm sure he chose to beat up the toy instead of me directly. but to my sick brain, it was worse.

anyway, i'm sure it was all because he saw me being weak and wanted to protect me, but it turned into the opposite, and i've invited bullying all my life. i wish he knew i didn't blame him for it v_v i'm kind of hoping he reads this so i don't have to tell him directly, but that's a small chance.

it's hard to explain it well enough to people who never had experiences like that because the feelings are *still* so intense. but it sounds to me like you did have experiences like that. maybe from the other side. actually, definitely from the other side, now that i read your message more carefully.

i wish i was braver. i wish i could tell him how i felt about it without fearing him laughing at me. or worse, scolding me, which i deserve. especially since it's all so long ago that it's stupid to keep thinking about it. especially since i've come to terms with it all emotionally recently and admitted it to myself. stuff they tell you in movies and shit about blocked memories, that's so true, even physically true in the brain.

i find it very interesting you were fine by yourself, or thought so. because i'm the flip side of the coin. i obsessively chase people and drive myself toward being hurt for their sakes. had 15 or so mates, i honestly lost count, before i settled with kit 7 years ago. and i don't feel like i settled anymore, at all. he's incredible. he cares for me so much. which is why i felt so guilty having to post this. but i spent 20 years of my life dishonest and sad every single day, even living alone with him. so i simply had to take a big risk. and it's been a struggle, but at least i've been getting somewhere. the most important thing (and the most difficult thing, to me) is to keep my efforts and their consequences connected, whether i succeed or fail.

sounds to me like
you feel guilty helping yourself because you feel it's tantamount to hurting your friends / siblings / yourself. because you see others hurt when you take for yourself. but... i've learned something recently. almost all people think of love like they think of trust. (i'd say it's the wrong way, but you know) it's something that's built up over time and can be betrayed and crushed, because they see no other way to live life than to risk constantly, and they have no problem with that. because life fights them, they fight back. seems incredibly counterintuitive to me, and i'm betting it does to you too.

there's a way to do it without hurting anyone but yourself. you have a good shot, if you tell the person you want exactly, exactly what you feel and believe. everyone knows what hurting and loneliness feel like. i've come so far i can cry with kit holding me without being scared he's going to strangle me or punch me. since i've told him the truth, he appreciates me more too.

the one thing i've thought to myself that's always pulled me true is, if they're really right for you, they won't leave you no matter what.
Lenoh
5 years, 9 months ago
Dude...Cat...I'm here anytime you need me, man.
catprowler
5 years, 9 months ago
I could always use someone....  In a good way that is.  

Just don't have anyone here, long ass way to get to anyone, and no one that really seems to care beyond a simple, Oh are you alright... that's (to bad/good)
GFHCDK76
5 years, 8 months ago
I can relate a bit to all that you have said on this journal so far.

I'm for the most part an introvert. But I wasin't always.

Back when I was much younger, I was very talkative to anyone. Well, I still am. I will walk through a store and may talk to near anyone for near any reason that may have me strike up a conversation with them. But to spend a long time with anyone, I get board with them. I like to be doing my own things, and not get board with others not involving themselves with me wile I am there. And the personalities of many as I spend more time with them do tend to bother me on a personal level. But not everyone I have been with.

There is so much more I can say, but I need too learn to keep things short.

What I mostly wish to say is, for as much of an outgoing guy I am, and usually not very judgemental of others overall, I do spend most of my free non working time by myself because I like doing what I like doing, and most others I have spent my time with don't like the same, or in the same way as I do. So, for the most part, I like spending time alone.

However, I am a situational introvert, not fully an emotional one, as in born as one. So, I do crave at time the company of others, but mostly for one thing, and that is to have someone to have sex with. And for me, in finding such, my efforts has been quite fruitless.

I have been looking for another for well over 30 years. I happen to be 42 by the way. I have had an interest in girls, then latter women for as long as I can remember, and been trying to go on dates with others for as long as I have been in elementary school. No luck till this vary day. And it's not due to a lack of trying. I just get turned down by each I have meet on line, or in person.

I'm not an average person either. I'm short, and strong built. A little heavy set at times, it depends on how much I work out on any given year. I'm currently 5'3" and weigh in at 145 lbs on average. I tend to curl 35lbs dumbbells in each arm, and jog a little just to keep fit. I need to be working to get back to 128 lbs like I was a few years ago.

Long story short, as open and open-minded of a guy I am, I have no luck with women. I can't get them to be involved with me, outside of being "just a friend." And many have liked me, but just as a friend only. When they get to know me, they find I'm very easy to talk to. Actually, many have said that about me, not just the girls.

I do have one who currently has an interest in me after all these years, and I have seen her in person a few times over a year ago. She even now says she wishes to come visit me and see me again. But after near six months of her saying that and not making any actual plans with me for us to see each other, even with me trying to set up time with her, me spending time with her is about as good as me with any other. 0.o

So, when you say you have a hard time finding an other to have some sexual relations with, I feel I can very much relate to that much at the very least.

And I do know, it don't help much if any you can't go visit in person says that they would spend such time with you. For if you can't see them in person, even though it's a nice gesture, it's also a moot point. That much I know too. And it's not much fun living in that situation. -.-

Just thought I would put that out.
catprowler
5 years, 8 months ago
hmmm... for short that was, well long.  Ah well to be honest I will drive 3 hours sometimes to go to a furmeet just to stop being completely bored where I live.  But even there where I can talk and enjoy myself easier I find it difficult to connect with someone else.    I have been serious many times when I state I'm at my best with a little encouragement and occasional motivation.   Basically let me know I'm alright and give me a kick in the butt if I seem like I could do better.  I think my real problem is that I've avoided, or been avoided for so long It's just what I've accepted.   I never went to dances in Jr. or High School, nor on dates because of moving or changing schools, I can kinda try and blame it on not being social at a point in life when I should have been but I don't know that it's the whole problem.   I believe I stated before that I want to get to know people before I try for what most would consider a relationship.....   Guess I'm too much of a good boy, never done anything seriously illegal nor even been drunk.  Always had people offer to change that but NONE of them have ever made an effort.  *sigh*
GFHCDK76
5 years, 8 months ago
Yes, that is kind of short for me, usually. If you have a look at what I posted to MedleyChimera below, and no need to read it, just see the length, that is a bit more than my usual. As I said, I need to learn to keep things short. 0.o

Yeah, I can see how what you said would be a prob in life.

I have been quite outgoing. I have been to dances, I have hung out with others to drink, play video games, watch a movie, walk in the mall, go shooting guns, lots of stuff. But also I did most of this with just guys.

With women, I think like you. I want to get to know them better before getting too personal with any of them. Getting to know them better has been the problem. Those I have met, are either already interested in some one else, or just see me as a friend.

Like with you whom has had a few who said they would help make a change in your life, I have had a few say the same to me, even some women, and like with you, they don't.

Sure it is fun to hang out with others at times, but it's just not the same as having a personal (having someone to be close to physically) or even a sexual relationship with another, beyond just being friends.

Currently I do have one woman whom says she wants a relationship with me, and wishes to see me, and we have seen each other before over a year ago. Of late she has been telling me she wishes to see me and come over to my place. But she has been saying this for about six months now, and sill has yet to make plans with me to do that. It leaves me thinking she might not ever end up doing so. And I'm not sure what to think about that. 0.o

Seems we both have issues with getting what we may want out of our time we spend with others, either it be just talking online, or visiting in person.

No, you don't have to be a "good boy" type person to be looked over by others, but it does seem to be the case at times. If you don't drink and such, great! The worst thing you can do is to settle with someone whom wants you to be doing things you don't want to, mostly if you are not doing those things because you feel it is a bad idea. Such people may only get you into the kind of trouble you don't want to be in for their own fun, and sadly there are plenty of those kinds of people out there.

If you are a "good boy" type person, probably for the best to stay that way, and hopefully you do find the kind of person who appreciates that you are. With as little meaning as it may have to you in your situation, I do wish you luck in finding what you are looking for, someday.
catprowler
5 years, 8 months ago
Good boy more by necessity and by my sibs actions.   My parents were both drinkers, mother also smoked.  Older brother drank, he had little 20ozers of hard liquor lined up on his wall empty.  
Basically my entire family has a high tolerance level for just about everything, and basically an addictive personalities.  I can honestly say for a while I was addicted to lazer tag...  Must play, why can't anyone be here to play, god I wanna play.  SHIT YA I'M PLAYING.   When you feel down/depressed not doing something then feel giddy and high doing it, it can be addicting.

But ramble.. anyways after watching my family and sibs doing things I decided I wouldn't do that.  I was the good boy, even went places to pick others up who were wasted, well once I got a vehicle at like 22.  At times I do regret not being bad but other times I wonder how messed up my life could be.  ALL of my sibs did turn out straight and good except one.  3/4 is a decent fraction.
GFHCDK76
5 years, 7 months ago
Your situation don't look like fun.

" SHIT YA I'M PLAYING.

That was funny. ^.^

Yeah, I get the addiction thing. I got a few of my own. One main one is downloading media. And lots of it. I can't get enough. 0.o

It's not that bad where I live, but I too deal with family matter I wish I didn't. Namely my father's anger and often vulgar rants about noting important. I swear I would never be an angry person like him. And I know I got it in me, it be easy for me to be that way too. I feel happy that I am not.

I feel it's a good thing you kept away from all of the drugs, and booze, and such. At least you know first hand what it dose to people, and as a good enough reason why not to do the same. I have seen it happen to others as well.

I did drink for a few years, but not much then, and I rarely do now. Perhaps I may have a drink or two once every other year or so.

Nice to know your sibs did turn out straight and good. Sorry to know about that one exception. The same happens to my mom. A lot in her family did and dose drink, but most of them turned out OK but one. He died of things like heroin and cocaine.
catprowler
5 years, 7 months ago
Hmmmm

I do want to get drunk one time, just once so I could try and relate to others.  I wouldn't even mind a hangover for one day.  Hard part is Alcohol is one thing my body doesn't seem to like, or should I say perhaps it's the sugars?   I don't know.  I hate most alcohols and stuffs, just horrible taste and I gag on the smell at times.  I'm told stick with ice cold vodka or simpler drinks.  I can handle the fruityer stuff like a mikes or something but I end up with a massive headache drinking 2 or 3.  Stop and it goes away after a half hour or so.  

I'm weird, and odd, and nuts... most often nuts.  
GFHCDK76
5 years, 7 months ago
" I do want to get drunk one time, just once so I could try and relate to others.

I can relate to that a bit.

I had a hash brownie once just to try it, I found it more potent, and not as harsh at the same time. It had a stronger effect on me than drinking, for what little of it I had. It was only a 1-1/2 inch square, but it got me damn high just the same. I was in a state where every second seemed like a fresh new experience, wile near forgetting what was going on every second before it. To say I felt odd is a great understatement. 0.0

I was also laughing near the whole time. ^.^ Evey thing I saw or heard seemed 1,000 times more funny than usual. I happens to be watching the movie Puss In Boots, then the TV show The loud Family after the movie. I laughed through them both, uncontrollably. 0.o

I don't watch The Loud Family, but I did that once, just because that was on after the movie, and I couldn't at the time, bring myself to change it.

There was also a moment I was going through what is called the nods.

But I also didn't have that sickly churning in my stomach I would get from too much alcohol. And no hang over either. The effect came over me slowly, in about a half hour's time, and lasted about three hours after. Then it was over, and I felt fairly normal again as time past.

" Alcohol is one thing my body doesn't seem to like

I would highly suggest against it then.

I know of a guy I had hung out with in high school. A real nice guy too, but didn't have too many friends. One thing he liked was collecting unusual tribal wooden masks. I thought they where neat to see. ^.^

As far as I can remember, he never drake. But one night he went to a party, something he didn't get to do often, and those there got him drinking. They got him so drunk, he walked out to a car and passed out in it. Later he was found dead, killed by alcohol poisoning. Apparently, that can happen. So if you do some drinking, be careful.

As for something to try is a Grasshopper. It was one of my favorite drinks. Real smooth, and easy going down. If it is made right, it don't take much of the stuff to get a good buzz off of.

" I'm weird, and odd, and nuts... most often nuts.

I feel the same of myself at times. ^.^
SecretStash151
5 years, 10 months ago
Oh. Well while it is shocking, at least he happy that you admitted the truth rather than keep it in. I’m a biological male who’s straight too, so I can’t you with your personal desires, but I hope I can at least be a friend or someone to talk to.
elderflowerpudding
5 years, 10 months ago
i appreciate that. = )
TheRealMedley
5 years, 10 months ago
So I'm a true blue biological female with XX chromosomes, complete with uterus and ovaries, but I am in a monogamous relationship with a man already and I quite prefer my large city hustle and bustle life. So no I am not a suitable mate of any kind, but I am a willing friend if you needed one, but you don't seem to need one.

I just gotta know, why are you pretending to be a female online?

Are you trans? (if so nothing wrong with that, and why not go through the transition?)

Do you think we have it easier then males?

Do you really want a girlfriend, as in a real girlfriend not just a hole to fuck and a warm body to hold, but someone to actually relationship with you?

I'm not one to judge people's personal life choices, or how they wish to conduct their lives, but I am concerned when you feel you have to put a dating ad out on an art site, thinking you're not good enough, surely sex isn't everything in a relationship...
elderflowerpudding
5 years, 10 months ago
tl;dr: i'm cucked and don't like it. modern women think they're being kinder by incentivizing men to be mature and responsible so they can take care of the children, but they're missing the point just like men did when they were the ones repressing the women instead. and there's still lots of pain. either that or it's on purpose to control the means of reproduction, in which case i still want to help you but can't because you're too fucked up. manipulating the genetic code and feminizing the entire species isn't the solution to inequality either; it will result in a species that's too busy fighting each other out of desperation and horniness, just like now, and rolls over to the AI when it tries to take over.

----

i don't think it's easy for anyone. when i started pretending, i thought i was trans. turns out it was because females have the ultimate power over males, the means of reproduction, and i just wanted to feel powerful for once, like i never have. now i realize that's the wrong way to go about it. even males have left brains. we just elect to repress them because, for some of us, especially if we're intellectuals, they get treated like shit when we bring them out. that is why i do not want a "real girlfriend." that real physical and mental pain is why i didn't continue education after liberal-arts college.

because i'm scared of women since they've caused me so much pain throughout my life, i can only assume that by "real girlfriend," you mean someone who's only goal is to change me, and that's not a correct way to approach any person except for a psychopath. because after i'm changed, a person who doesn't want me for me will get bored and won't want my seed even after they got what they want, and i'll be making my partner unhappy in our relationship and/or will have wasted years of my life. this has already happened to me several times. plus, part of attraction is physical, and aging makes a person ugly. but if i don't let someone train me, i'm not ever going to mature, since it's the natural way to mature.

training people to be attractive, respectful, productive, whatever, is fine, if upon the change, there's reward. but nobody trains each other right. and, for the same reason, neither does the state. or corportations. barely anybody knows what they want right now. we're all desperate and trying to grab what we want before we're ready. and every time we do, there's more pain. it simply can't be done in a culture where people are convinced that sex must be dissociated from fulfillment.

sex is the natural, evolved, inborn way to feel fulfillment. the only reason that people have to "discover themselves" before sex in our world is because in ancient times it was really hard to feed ourselves when we let people just fuck and die without doing anything for each other. but these days, it's pretty clear that sex is just sex. there's some stickin, some squishin, some bouncing, some climaxing. my point is, now we have technology, so we can rely on it somewhat and don't need to train people so hard out of desperation. we still have to have engineers to work and repair it, but we can just train them directly at their jobs instead of training them to be desperate and hoping they'll do what we want anyway. keep the humans in power because they're naturally moderate and friendly, just don't stress them. AI, sex robots, porn, they all just frustrate a problem we don't need to have in the first place.

the process of maturing needs to be taken care of in an environment where we don't have to worry about safety so we evolve out of the stupid, base concept that someone's always the protector and someone's always the protected. in our massive struggle to protect the weak from the strong, we've incidentally cut off honest communication and caused all kinds of strife to each other just by not telling each other the truth. if the internet and porn are good for anything, they're good for restoring communication.
TheRealMedley
5 years, 10 months ago
There is so much wrong with what you said and I want to dissect every little inch of it, so here goes:

" tl;dr: i'm cucked

You do not have a female or male sex partner, you are not getting sexual release from watching them have sex with other people, you are not being cucked, to be cucked or have a cuckold fetish means that you are a willing person in a three way relationship where your SO has sex and you dont.

" modern women think they're being kinder by incentivizing men to be mature and responsible so they can take care of the children, but they're missing the point just like men did when they were the ones repressing the women instead. and there's still lots of pain.

"modern women" (or as I'm assuming from how you talk about my sex/gender 'feminists') are not trying to create incentives for men to be mature and responsible, we as a whole species want to have a mature and responsible mate to help rear these creatures that they helped bring into the world, sorry if expecting someone to do their part, male or female is too much pain for you.

" either that or it's on purpose to control the means of reproduction, in which case i still want to help you but can't because you're too fucked up. manipulating the genetic code and feminizing the entire species isn't the solution to inequality either;

What is this "control means of reproduction" you speak of? Its like you're demonizing woman having the right to say no to someone when they  want to fuck them. Also you can't help 'me' (I don't know if you're use of the word 'you' is "general you" or a direct at me "you") because I am not "fucked up" and I am not "manipulating the genetic code" and feminizing any species.

" it will result in a species that's too busy fighting each other out of desperation and horniness, just like now, and rolls over to the AI when it tries to take over.

This is not but a word salad that makes absolute zero sense.

" i don't think it's easy for anyone. when i started pretending, i thought i was trans. turns out it was because females have the ultimate power over males, the means of reproduction, and i just wanted to feel powerful for once, like i never have. now i realize that's the wrong way to go about it.

I agree, it isn't easy for anyone online because the internet hates everyone. As for thinking you were trans I'm glad that you didn't become a transtrender (like many artists do) and didn't do irreversible damage to yourself. "FEMALES" as you call us, (btw we prefer to be called women, we don't like being referred to like a science project and its degrading and also a red flag to anyone who hears or reads it) have no power, there are as many incel women as their are incel men, men have just as much power, and without men there is no means of reproduction, I want to know this power that you felt because I have never once heard of it or felt it in my life, being a biological woman and all. A woman can say no to a man, but a man can say no to a woman just as quick and those with standards and self esteem often do.

TheRealMedley
5 years, 10 months ago
" even males have left brains. we just elect to repress them because, for some of us, especially if we're intellectuals, they get treated like shit when we bring them out. that is why i do not want a "real girlfriend." that real physical and mental pain is why i didn't continue education after liberal-arts college.

Everyone is a person, they all have feelings everyone is allowed to feel and putting yourself around those who refuse to let you have emotions is of your own doing, cutting toxic people out of your life and living how you want is the first step to destroying the toxicity that has convinced you that you're not allowed to feel (also the left/right brain stuff was already disproved), a true intellectual would never refer to oneself as such because they know they have much more to learn, and again its a red flag to women to let them know they are conversing with someone who looks down on them, its in the same vain as being called "female". A "real girlfriend" and not just a hole to fuck, wouldn't treat you like shit unless you invited such behavior to exist around you, you control your friend group and if a person mate or not decides to treat you poorly you have a choice to remove them from your life, I personally treat my man like the king he is because he is a king to me, I don't treat him like shit for having emotions, and your liberal-arts has nothing to do with this.

" because i'm scared of women since they've caused me so much pain throughout my life, i can only assume that by "real girlfriend," you mean someone who's only goal is to change me, and that's not a correct way to approach any person except for a psychopath

You fear something that you desire so badly, why even bother with it? I do NOT mean someone who is going to change you, I mean someone who is like you, like minded goals, dreams, ideas, humor and other personality traits, someone you can get along with easy and someone who know you can share a life with, your assumptions are nothing but WRONG. I am not some  angry 1950's feminist who thinks everyone man should be a cookie cutter and should be changed if he isn't. Also wanting someone to change for the better isn't psychopathic, wanting someone to quit drugs or alcohol or cutting themselves, is a positive change. If someone wants you to change, but for the better they are looking out for you, not being controlling or manipulative.

" because after i'm changed, a person who doesn't want me for me will get bored and won't want my seed even after they got what they want, and i'll be making my partner unhappy in our relationship and/or will have wasted years of my life. this has already happened to me several times.

Again as stated above, change should only be made to be positive, like giving up a habit that is killing you, if a person grows bored with you and doesn't want your children it would be better if they left, rather than staying and making you themselves and y'all's child unhappy.

" plus, part of attraction is physical, and aging makes a person ugly. but if i don't let someone train me, i'm not ever going to mature, since it's the natural way to mature

If you find aging ugly, you are not mentally mature enough to handle a relationship, also "training" should never exist in the same breath as relationship when referring to humans.

" training people to be attractive, respectful, productive, whatever, is fine, if upon the change, there's reward. but nobody trains each other right. and, for the same reason, neither does the state. or corportations.

You nor your partner should be trying to train one another like y'all are show dogs, no one is rewarded with sex, or babies just because they didn't pick their nose in public, no one in their right mind would think to themselves that this one statement came from a 30+ year old man, and that he is speaking quite seriously.
TheRealMedley
5 years, 10 months ago
" barely anybody knows what they want right now. we're all desperate and trying to grab what we want before we're ready. and every time we do, there's more pain. it simply can't be done in a culture where people are convinced that sex must be dissociated from fulfillment.

I legitimately don't understand the first half of this, as for the second half about our culture convinced that sex is disassociated with fulfillment, this is the biggest load of hose shit I have ever read, women put their own value on whether or not a man will have sex with them, there are incels mowing people down with cars and guns over not getting the person they desire, sex is almost everyone's end goal and has been associated with fulfillment so very much that we as a society have used it in every way possible to get what we want.

" sex is the natural, evolved, inborn way to feel fulfillment. the only reason that people have to "discover themselves" before sex in our world is because in ancient times it was really hard to feed ourselves when we let people just fuck and die without doing anything for each other.

Are you referring to masturbation when you say "discover themselves"? I am genuinely curious. I again don't understand the use of bringing up ancient humans who were breeding as much as possible to ensure that human the species would live on, has anything to do with this?

" but these days, it's pretty clear that sex is just sex. there's some stickin, some squishin, some bouncing, some climaxing. my point is, now we have technology, so we can rely on it somewhat and don't need to train people so hard out of desperation. we still have to have engineers to work and repair it, but we can just train them directly at their jobs instead of training them to be desperate and hoping they'll do what we want anyway. keep the humans in power because they're naturally moderate and friendly, just don't stress them. AI, sex robots, porn, they all just frustrate a problem we don't need to have in the first place.

Again "training" is not a word to use unless you are just looking into human trafficking, in which case go find a hooker near you, I'm pretty sure she is "trained" enough to know how to stick, squish, bounce and climax just right for you. Sex robots are being created because of people like you who view half of your whole species as lower beings and nothing more than just filthy holes to get your rocks off in, and nothing more than just vessels to carry your seed and create your spawn, just an FYI.

" the process of maturing needs to be taken care of in an environment where we don't have to worry about safety so we evolve out of the stupid, base concept that someone's always the protector and someone's always the protected. in our massive struggle to protect the weak from the strong, we've incidentally cut off honest communication and caused all kinds of strife to each other just by not telling each other the truth. if the internet and porn are good for anything, they're good for restoring communication.

This literally has nothing to do with anything you were trying to say. I don't even know how to rebuttal this honestly, we as a species sought to protect the weak because every life was sacred and everyone deserved a chance at life, the idea that only one person in a relationship is to be protector or protected is archaic and dehumanizing to everyone, there is no lost communication, only those who don't know how to communicate, which from reading your very misogynistic and very uneducated rant about how women are the true evils of the world for having minds and emotions of their own and saying no, you sir are the one who lacks in those skills.
RockyFennek
5 years, 9 months ago
Hello random person. I'm just here to say wow, that was impressive! I don't think I've ever seen such a fascinating incel beatdown in my life :D
TheRealMedley
5 years, 9 months ago
I can't believe someone read it :3 thanks I appreciate the fuck outta your comment too, I even saved it : for future reference :D
RockyFennek
5 years, 9 months ago
What can I say, I'm a bit of a sucker for reading furry drama :) You seem pretty cool though!
GFHCDK76
5 years, 8 months ago
I did also. And quite the view on things you have. You definitely grabbed my interest with what you are saying. I was just picking up, what you was putting down. :p

However, I do feel there is some misunderstanding on both sides of the coin. And with different gender's perspective on things, wither they are wrong or right, there usually is.

I can feel some of what he was saying, but you do make some very good counter views. I'can't agree with everything you have said, partly due to being a guy a little bit in his position, but I also can't fully agree with what he said either. This, mostly due to that I'm neither fully like you nor him.

Fist off, you gave the meaning of "cucked" Personally, I didn't know what it was the moment I saw him put it down. Neat, though unusual. And I don't think I would ever want that, though it is a little like having an interest in watching porn to get off. Just a little. But not fully the same thing.

" we as a whole species want to have a mature and responsible mate to help rear these creatures that they helped bring into the world, sorry if expecting someone to do their part

Oh' I fully agree. To me it would be expected that a grown woman who knows the ways of the world, and isn't a horny little girl just looking for sex without fully understanding the consequences of that, would want a mature, stable partner, one can rely on, mentally, and possibly financially(if needed, for some woman are the bread winners), as a life partner to have a long term serous relationship with. And it is just as true of men to want much the same of a woman they may wont to be with. Not much fun for a man or a woman, living with someone broke all the time, angry all the time, sad all the time, wanting too much attention, or not giving enough. The list goes on.

You seem like one who understands.

" Its like you're demonizing woman having the right to say no to someone when they  want to fuck them.

I did do that a little when I was still in high school, and for a short time I hated girls for not taking the kind of interest in me I was looking for, and felt I should have as a guy, and I don't mean just sex. But that line of thinking was short lived, and I came to thinking it's not their fault for how I feel about them, and it's not up to any of them to validate my inner need to feel wanted by any of them, by being a partner to me when I'm just not what they are looking for at that time.

" it isn't easy for anyone online because the internet hates everyone.

This is one thing I feel I can't agree with. We all as a people make up the whole experience anyone may get wile interacting with others online. Some of it is good, and very good indeed. ^.^ Some of it is a "Fuckitall!" bad. >.< But, we make it so by how we treat each-other. 0.o

I also can't say it isn't easy for anyone. Some, depending on life situations have it very easy. But many of them had to work on it, to some extent. wile others have has a good life dropped in their laps, due to who they may know, or by who their parents might be. But yes, it is hard for many people, mostly the real uneducated ones. 0.o

Some have a saying, "As bad as a YouTube commenter." But this is not always so, I have seen many a nice YouTube commenters. And at times, more than the bad ones.

" "FEMALES" as you call us, have no power, there are as many incel women as their are incel men, men have just as much power

As a guy, I don't fully agree with this. The power he speaks of is the right to say no. There is power in that. And a guy whom has been unable to get a woman's interest in him as a life partner, not just for sex, recognizes this about women. But this is not a bad thing, or there be a lot more raping going on, or just a lot more dissatisfied women in a relationship, like before women had the voice they fought for to have now.
GFHCDK76
5 years, 8 months ago
" A woman can say no to a man, but a man can say no to a woman just as quick and those with standards and self esteem often do.

True, many men have the same power over some women, even when some women don't want them to. It's very dependent on the situation and the individuals involved, as to whom may think who has the power at any given time. It's is good that we each have this right to say no.

And you are quite right, those with standards and self esteem often do, much to the frustration of those wanting to control the situation of what a person can think or say.

" and without men there is no means of reproduction

I'm glad you feel that way. ^.^

Part of my thinking is, I feel humanity might be a little bit happier with each-other, if all of us where born as a true form of hermaphrodite.  

I do like being a guy, and I don't exactly wish to be a women. Not that I feel it is bad to be woman. And it might be interesting to know what that it like. But, if all of us was of the same gender, by all being of both genders at the same time, there would indeed be far less such arguments and misunderstandings as women and men have with each other, when they do.

And we need not worry about us not being able to breed more of us, if all of us are all of one kind, sex wise. That to me is a real neat thought. ^.^ One I know many many would not agree with however. 0.o

" you control your friend group and if a person mate or not decides to treat you poorly you have a choice to remove them from your life

True, and not near enough people get that. Or they fear what might happen if they do. Either fear of being alone, or attacked by the one they broke up with. Some women live through the latter fear, if they are with an abusive husband and he has threaten to harm her greatly, or kill her, if she think she can get away with leaving him. Even online, people can be quite cruel if they have been publicly unfriended.

I have done as you suggested, and is partly why I spend much of my free time alone. Either a friend I wish to hang out with has moved away, or I felt they are a poison to my happiness as a person, and I choose to have nothing to do with them. Even though I would like to have others around at times, I know I am far happier not having those around me that only bring me down, in one way or another.

" I personally treat my man like the king he is because he is a king to me, I don't treat him like shit for having emotions

Well, that is great to know. ^.^ I am truly happy for you having a guy you feel that way about, and happy for him having a woman in his life whom thinks of him as such, and treats him as you say. I get the warm fuzzes. I really do. ^.^

I will tell you something, my last name happens to be King. But it is also a very common last name. 0.o

" Also wanting someone to change for the better isn't psychopathic, wanting someone to quit drugs or alcohol or cutting themselves, is a positive change. If someone wants you to change, but for the better they are looking out for you, not being controlling or manipulative.

That is some words for the wise. ^.^ And I am at times quite the wise guy, even if not the brightest. :p
GFHCDK76
5 years, 8 months ago
" If you find aging ugly, you are not mentally mature enough to handle a relationship

I personally don't like the idea of getting old myself. Not just because of how a person may look, but due to how our bodies degrade. I like to be fit enough to serve myself. But I too don't like the look of getting old either. I have seen many who are, and to me it's not good.

But I do understand what you are saying. Aging (for now) is inevitable, and we should not treat a potential partner or one we may have had for a wile, as undesirable due to age. Mostly as we age ourselves. It's not anyone's fault they got old, and should not be thought of as something horrible to see or be around, just due to their looks of old age alone.

On the other-hand, there is the ever existent quest most everyone has to find an attractive partner. And if those that look old does not do it for anyone, they should not be made to think that they should go with such anyways. It is the norm that most anyone of a younger age doesn't feel an older person looks attractive to them, and would not want to have sex with them.

Think of it, just how many, male or female, you find in their 20s pining for someone in their 70s or 80s. And I bet you a $100, most of them whom are not, will likely say they are just not attracted (physical look wise) to those that are old. But there are some exceptions.

" "training" should never exist in the same breath as relationship when referring to humans.

I feel it should be, but in schools. Like to teach how to nurture a lasting and loving relationship with a spouse. I feel such is greatly lacking in schools. People tend to go to a family, or sex therapist, or counselor for such "training", and only after they have had a problem or more. Such teaching would help avoid such problems well before they can develop.

A saying I happen to like. "A smart person knows how to fix or solve a problem. A genus knows how to prevent one beforehand."

" You nor your partner should be trying to train one another like y'all are show dogs, no one is rewarded with sex, or babies just because they didn't pick their nose in public

Unfortunately, without said school training I talked about, this is how far too many adults think of and treat their spouse. Mostly young adults whom feel they deserve better.

As they get older, and partly as you stated, a 30+ year old will likely think better on how to treat and think of on what having a partner is, and is far less likely to treat a partner as a show dog. But there is plenty of womanizing grown men whom even well past their 30s feel his women should be well behaved in public, for his own good image, and not do things such as speak when not spoken to. I have seen this treatment of woman by their men personally. A few times.

However, I have an ant whom dose this to her man a lot. Even during family meetings. She will not let him get a word in most of the time, and the family don't like how she treat him. The both of them are in their 60s. So, such treatment dose go on among older adult spouses, wither anyone feels it should or not.

" I legitimately don't understand the first half of this

Nor do I. I feel I know what I want out of life. Getting it, is sometimes the problem.

I does remind me of a joke I was once told. "Why do adults ask kids what they want to do when they grow up? Because they are fishing for ideas for themselves." :p
GFHCDK76
5 years, 8 months ago
" as for the second half about our culture convinced that sex is disassociated with fulfillment

I think he is possibly talking about how various religions don't condone the act of sex for pleasure, only for procreation, and that such pleasures are forbidden. Such things as masturbation is a real big no-no.

As there are a lot of people whom are a part of near any given religion available. I think he feels it is of the full mind of our entire culture. Sure, many who practice a religion are thought to be all prudes. But hardly all are, and enough of them don't like living by such religious rules, anymore than those whom are not religious.

I'm just guessing what he may have meant however. 0.o

" women put their own value on whether or not a man will have sex with them

Plenty of guys also, when it comes to what a women will or will not do with them. I have, for a time... >.>

" sex is almost everyone's end goal and has been associated with fulfillment so very much that we as a society have used it in every way possible to get what we want.

This is true.

I'm not sure if anyone has tried to use sex to sell insurance, but someone might have. It's possible. ^.^

" Sex robots are being created because of people like you who view half of your whole species as lower beings and nothing more than just filthy holes to get your rocks off in

Not true. I am a big supporter of the idea of making sex bots of some sort. But it's not due to me of others like me viewing half of my whole species as lower beings and nothing more than just filthy holes to get your rocks off in, as you say.

It's just hard to find a companion for some of us. -.- And is something with having the awesome guy you got (and I am still happy for you that you do), you may not understand how this can be for some of us whom can't find such for ourselves. -.- Some of us are looking for a real relationship, I mean a real meaningful relationship, but may settle for a sex bot to get our rocks off in instead, as an alternative to having noting. -.-

Even if I don't understand or agree with some, or even most of twilightstormshi thoughts and views, I can understand his emotional frustration from what is making him feel it.

For this I am sorry for his inner turmoil. I have had it for a very long time myself, even if different to his own.

It was very interesting to read what you put down, and think you are quite a smart person in your own right. And seem smarter than I.

As for me, I was just adding some of my own thoughts to this, nothing more. Well, maybe, perhaps to sway some of your own views a little too. ^.^
TerraMcBass
5 years, 8 months ago
Are you a plunger?
GFHCDK76
5 years, 8 months ago
Honestly, I don't know what you mean by a plunger. I don't. 0.o

Can you please clarify your meaning? I might have an answer for you if you do.
TerraMcBass
5 years, 8 months ago
Cuz you seem to like bringing up old shit.
GFHCDK76
5 years, 7 months ago
Old? It's old by your standards, but to me it's been posted only two month ago. And this is the fist time I seen it.

And why would you care as to how old a post is I may indulge in commenting to for my own reasons anyway? What's it to you? 0.o
TerraMcBass
5 years, 7 months ago
I dunno, bro, if a turd was stuck in my pipes for 2 months I'd say it's pretty old by now.
GFHCDK76
5 years, 7 months ago
Speaking of old, this had gotten old, fast. And you wast my time with your foolishness.
TheRealMedley
5 years, 7 months ago
" GFHCDK76 wrote:
Speaking of old, this had gotten old, fast. And you wast my time with your foolishness.


Wasting your time? You seemed to have lots of it seeing how you write essays analyzing comments not even addressed to or about you.
DarkSunsetHellNite7
4 years, 7 months ago
" MedleyChimera wrote:
" GFHCDK76 wrote:
Speaking of old, this had gotten old, fast. And you wast my time with your foolishness.


Wasting your time? You seemed to have lots of it seeing how you write essays analyzing comments not even addressed to or about you.


Huh, how hypocritical. You gave a massive verbal beat down to someone (not that I'm defending them) completely unasked for and were perfectly fine with that. Someone else comes at you and suddenly it's "you write essays analyzing comments", mocking how much they wrote despite you having done the same exact thing and how when you asked Elderflower questions at first, you gave no idea that you were going to brutally dissect it.

You seemed to have a lot of time yourself, ironically, writing essays that no one even asked for. I find that hilarious. I'd otherwise agree with you were it not for this comment right here.

I don't use Inkbunny, so if you see this comment to your 1 year old post, feel free to ignore it. I've said what I wanted to say and frankly don't care about what you have to say in response. Good day~
TheRealMedley
4 years, 7 months ago
" Huh, how hypocritical. You gave a massive verbal beat down to someone (not that I'm defending them) completely unasked for and were perfectly fine with that. Someone else comes at you and suddenly it's "you write essays analyzing comments", mocking how much they wrote despite you having done the same exact thing and how when you asked Elderflower questions at first, you gave no idea that you were going to brutally dissect it.


I asked a few questions first trying to understand the somewhat comprehensible rant that was posted, then got a response of almost nonsense, then I asked more follow up questions to understand what they meant, yes I dissected it but again that was to understand what was being said to me, then I was given bullshit incel-like responses totally making generalizations about my entire sex based off of one very unsatisfied man's emotions.

If you read the whole conversation rather than cherry picking your favorite parts you would see that I did not indeed give a "verbal beat down" out of pure drama loving callousness, but rather out of exasperation of the attitude given to me by someone who at the time seemed to love being miserable over the lack of "SEX" being thrown their way, because that is what all life is about is sex right?

" You seemed to have a lot of time yourself, ironically, writing essays that no one even asked for. I find that hilarious. I'd otherwise agree with you were it not for this comment right here.


I do have a lot of free time to just do stuff online, it comes with being physically disabled and not being able to live a normal life, yes I am that lifeless loser, anyone who checks anything out about me can see that, thank you for pointing out the obvious.

" I don't use Inkbunny, so if you see this comment to your 1 year old post, feel free to ignore it. I've said what I wanted to say and frankly don't care about what you have to say in response. Good day~


For someone who doesn't use this site nor care about my response, and to criticize me for responding the way I did, you sure took the time out of your life to, create an account, look at this comment thread, think of a response, type out said response, and then post it, all the while claiming to not care.

Personally I am shocked people are still replying to this but it fascinates me when they do, because you get several different types of people who reply, I personally stand by everything I said, and still have not changed my mind on anything, being a callous and mean person making generalizations about an entire sex, especially some blatantly wrong ones (FEMALES GET LIFE ON EASY MODE REEE) is something to be offended about and hopefully after reading this a year later TWILIGHTSTORMSHI would change their attitude and mind about how they have been in the past and realize what an absolute creep and ass they were acting like, that being said what I did was no better and I was not acting like a civil or nice person myself, I too am in the wrong and I too am an ass. At least I admit it.
DarkSunsetHellNite7
4 years, 7 months ago
👍 Whatever you say. Read the end of my last comment, thanks~
TerraMcBass
4 years, 7 months ago
*ahem*
Are you a plunger?
Zettabyte
5 years, 4 months ago
Not really sure how I even happened upon this, but damn. That was a pretty satisfying verbal beatdown.
TheRealMedley
5 years, 4 months ago
Thank you, I feel this person has left the fandom though...
mebhox
5 years, 3 months ago
Who's awesome? You're awesome!
Daneasaur
5 years, 10 months ago
Somewhat surprising but not evil and certainly not the first person I've found who has revealed this.

I'm glad you're being honest now.
elderflowerpudding
5 years, 10 months ago
not evil... but hurtful. and mistaken. i wish i hadn't led people on. thank you for saying so
SurferOtter
5 years, 10 months ago
Aside from the opposite gender, we are kinda in the same boat.
elderflowerpudding
5 years, 10 months ago
please elaborate, when ready. you can PM me if you'd like, i want to hear =3
SurferOtter
5 years, 10 months ago
I feel like alot of this is what I would say, I also have an ex that doesn't really have a libido at all. Most sexual excursions are prompted by me. Its one of the reasons we decided to be friends with benefits instead of partners, we just didn't feel like we were getting what we wanted out of the relationship.

On the internet, I built up this slutty otter persona that I feel others are either turned away by or I find people from lands far away that are interested. I've tried a long distance relationship, it didn't work out. I am not completely unfit and otherwise look good, I've had compliments on my penis size too, but I'm looking for someone who is just as into a quick fuck as just spending time cuddling, who gives me my alone time when I need it aswell as be there when I need them. Someone who can see and appreciate my kind spirit and personality, who doesn't mind my quirks. I may have a high sex drive but I never seem to find someone with a similar libido or anyone looking for more because I'm not their "type".

It just gets frustrating most of the time.
elderflowerpudding
5 years, 10 months ago
yes, sounds like we're the same. my persona is purposefully slutty too. i am a slut. that's what people who love discriminately call people who love indiscriminately because we wanna fuck around, and that hurts them. but them being hurt is hurtful to us because we just feel like we have the most love to share and won't deny it to anybody who asks. and we think all they want is to be loved. and they do. but to them, love is ONLY between two people at once, and it's not "special" if you want someone else while you're with a mate. kit has struggled and struggled and struggled to get this through my head. and it still only goes halfway through.

it sucks, but we are the cucks. cuz we don't get it -- and they don't get us. neither side is at fault at all. it sucks so bad.

here's why. for us, cuddling is superior to sex but degrades into sex naturally. for them, sex is superior to cuddling, so it's a good thing cuddling turns into sex naturally. we get hurt when cuddling doesn't turn into sex for any reason. they get hurt when they can't make cuddling turn into sex but not for any other reason. and they "shrug it off," which doesn't happen for us because us getting cut off from sex is an indictment on our personal way of fuckin.

so i wanna tell you, to most people, them saying they don't want sex with you means "i want sex with you after you devote yourself to me"

you see why we've gotta stick together. but! the whole problem continues because the sides try to stick together. i've been grinding my brain for over a month now, since i've realized this, on what the better way is.

ok

someone i haven't asked the anonymity preferences of has answered this ad in PM that i'm very into and want to meet irl. kit's only ok with that after a looooooooot of talking and compromising. but! i don't keep deadlines. i promise. and kit's always allowed me to fuck around online. and maybe that's changing for irl too, now that we understand each other better.

my discord is twilightstormshi#5258  you're welcome to throw me a cuddle party, if you want, whenever you want :3 your icon's smiling at me, after all. and made by the same person, if i'm not mistaken! =3

Ixtlilton
5 years, 8 months ago
im a trans female and id love to cuddle with you
elderflowerpudding
5 years, 8 months ago
hi there~ =3 my discord is twilightstormshi#5258, you're welcome to message~ or PM me here, that's good too~
i'm sorry i didn't catch your reply here right away! i'm not used to looking at inkbunny messages, and i posted a story recently and got favorites that pushed it down the list :x
GFHCDK76
5 years, 8 months ago
" hi out there in the furry world.

Hello. ^.^

Been meaning to comment to you directly, but got sidetracked, and that happens to me a lot.

" i'm a biological male pretending to be female online.

OK, it's good to me to know such truths about a person. It don't bother me none by you being a guy pretending to be a woman on line, I'm just the type whom wishes to know such things, if that is what someone is doing.

And it's cool to me that you are sharing such info with others. ^.^

" my boyfriend kitsuneyoukai , who is straight in his sexual preference and won't fuck me.

That is complicated. 0.o

Not that it helps, but I do feel sorry for your situation. And in a way, his.
I don't feel that it is bad or wrong that the two of you are in a (missing type of word)-relationship, but I do feel it's got to be quite hard on the both of you, with you each having the particular interest in a relationship you each want,  but both don't quite share in the same exact way you both imagine having.

" is there any biological female out there willing to hear my story, and if they like it, hold me, kiss me, and fuck me, the way i've never been fulfilled?

Now you are asking the exact same question I have for years. Dude! I feel you man. -.-

" i'm looking for someone as kind and honest as i think i am and who won't mind if i love and cuddle with kitsu too, since i already do.

So you want both. I do indeed wish you luck with that. And there are those types of woman out there, but not all too easy to find. I feel there is no need to tell you how hard they are to find.

*Raise hands* "Got a question!

I do wonder why you are looking for just a women to fuck, if you are wanting that from kitsuneyoukai. Then again, you didn't exactly say you want him to, only that he won't. So I am just guessing that it be OK with you to have sex with another guy. Am I wrong, or is kitsuneyoukai the only guy you felt that way about, if you do?

Seriously, just curious.

" i like doing what i do now: living in the middle of nowhere with a like-minded person who likes doing the kind of art i do with me outside the noise of civilization.

Well, tha't cool! ^.^

Some have far less than that. I have never truly found a like minded person to just hang with and do stuff with, for a stable amount of time, out of all the people I have met and gotten to know in person. And there has been a lot. I'm not exactly a shy guy.

" i'm sure that's a big red flag to most of you, signaling that I'm dangerous and crazy.

Not too me. Seems to me you just like the quiet so you can think better about what you like doing. And when it comes to making art and stories, a quite place is kind of a staple for many artists. So, noting that strikes me as odd there.
GFHCDK76
5 years, 8 months ago
" but maybe i am crazy. we all are, aren't we

I do think that of myself at some rare times. It's just because I feel when it comes to other people, I don't always click, and if I do, it don't last.

I tend to say things that may upset others, but that is just due to me speaking my mind, and letting them know how I think, what I think, and why. And and for them, knowing what I think and why tends to rub some the wrong way. And some do the same to me at times also.

One case: I met in person, in person, who is a guy, and wants to be a transgendered women, when he can. Part of his change he is looking to have done, don't include removing his, I'll just say it, his dick. He just wants to have his voice changed via hormone injections, and have breast implants.

I told him that none of that bothers me, and he should do it if he feels it's something he has got to do to be happy.

What got him upset is I told him that after his change he is looking to make, I personally would still think of him biologically still very much male, though I would call him a woman after, if he wants me to.

He said it hurts that I would not think of him as a woman after. I said, why would I, you would still below the belt be very much still the dude you are now. You would still fuck like a dude and be able to bread like a dude, so in my mind, body wise, you would still be a dude to me.

To have never been a woman before, not a real one, and can't know what it really is like to grow up as one from once being a girl. The two are just so vastly different. And yes, what is between the legs, and what it means to have it that way, and what is known to being able to do with it as one grows up learning about it from the perspective of being one, it's hard in the extreme for any guy to truly know, just what it is like to feel like a woman when a girl becomes one. Nor would a biological woman ever truly know what it is like for a guy to be a guy.

So no, with what I do know about it, and how I think bout it, I can't ever think of you as being a woman, if all you are changing is your voice and getting breast implants to make people think you are a women at first glance.

And it would piss me off as well as a lot of other strait guys to personally get involved with another whom has fooled them in that way, and end up finding Mr. Winky the hard way, because we where not told the truth before hand.  We are told that we are getting involved with a women instead, because that is how we are wanted to think.

He stopped talking to me.. And I'm not surprised. But I don't like being made to think what I simply will not, just because someone wants me to. And I feel most other people feel the same of what they think, wither they be wrong for right.

So yes, I speak my mind. Not to be rude, cruel, or mean to others. I do it so they can get to know me, and that means getting to know what and how I think, even if it's not agreed upon by others.

The way I see it is, you never can get to know a person, unless willing to understand how they think, and why. The trouble is, is when people can't live with disagreeing about some personal view of others, without the hate for others not agreeing with one's own line of thinking. The old saying, "agree to disagree," some just don't get it.

" i'm sorry if this is just selfish of me

Sorry for wanting happiness, even if it means getting personally involved with another to be a particular kind of happy? 0.o

No need to be sorry about that. I think the mass of dating sites, and porn sites that can be found proves just how much, damn near, every person wants the same and is looking too. If they have not found such already.

Well I've given my, quite the verbose, point of view on this. I hope you find what you are looking for some day.
xBagheerax
5 years, 5 months ago
Ive followed Kitsune's comics for years I had no idea he was a dude.
mediadragon
5 years, 5 months ago
Male female it's what your rather be called not to be blunt but you could have 2 12 inch dicks and id still call ya miss if you rather and if your a guy who cares for one we have watched the comics and stories for a while now and hell some have looked forwards to them so for one I support you both and I'll admit I'm a little bit selfish to say that I want to make sure you guys keep going with your comics after all I'm a huge fan and I will try my best to support you no matter what you are or what you want to be the only issue that stands however even if you're not dating you could still say that you're like siblings with all the things you've gone through together and thats still love!
KonaNosune
5 years, 3 months ago
I mean, I'll still always appreciate the stuff you do online and everything but I can't help but feel a little strange that you baited someone into a relationship that was straight pretending to be a female. What you did was in basic form catfishing. This is all between you two and feel like this shouldn't be dragged into the online presence but I feel the need to voice how messed up this is and that you should have seen this coming at some point. Not to rub salt in wounds or anything but the fact that it's something that would've never worked out due to orientations.
elderflowerpudding
5 years, 3 months ago
you feel that need, huh? to voice that? alright.
GFHCDK76
5 years, 2 months ago
A replay only a little over two weeks ago. Some assume you where gone. So much for assumptions. >.>

So, perhaps you are just working things out for yourself. Your last story post was posted about six months ago. Perhaps you are taking your time on your next project. And how long dose it take for you to come up with and make a new story or art for it? Who can really say but you.

No new posts don't mean you are gone, or are not still actively involved with this site or others. It may mean you are just busy. Busy with other things in your life, and not just stories and art for here. People do have a life, it don't mean they are gone as some may think.

And perhaps some people, even some like me, may assume too much as to what you are really up to these days, with having no real clue, as if they know you or something like that.

Perhaps you are waiting for someone to actually respond to your AD the way may wont someone too. It is partly why you posted it, yes?

Not to but in, OK I am, I think kitsuneyoukai may truly want to be working with you again, on a professional level. Even if the two of you can't patch up what personally split the two of you apart to begin with. And I am sure many here would like to see that happen too.

It is said, it takes two to tango, and I get the felling he feels he is currently left without a good dance partner, or one he is familiar with, when it come to having a completed project made and looking good when done. I don't think he want's just anyone's help, but yours. But he is looking to take what he can get at the moment I think.

Just a thought, but it might be good to work with him again, just to have that work to help take one's mind off some less pleasant thoughts. This of course completely depends on how you feel about doing that, and if you feel you are up to doing that again. And if you got the time, with what else you may have going on. Something I and others may know nothing about.

It is good to see you post something though, just to know you are sill around and still active here (Yea, I talk as if I post all that often on my own mane pages. >.>), even if it is to respond to a comment you may not have liked.

I think that is why some like me come back at times, too see if you are sill active here. It's nice to know you are, every now and then.

Man, I got to lay off the long comment streams I make. >.>
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