Life Updates

Greetings everyone.

It's been a while since I've drawn. Almost four months or so. Already a third of the year without drawing any new content and I apologize to everyone about that.

As some of you may know, I am currently enrolled into college where I attend school full-time. Last semester, I took eighteen hours, which was a big mistake honestly. I barely survived. That semester drained me so much that I had to drop from fifteen to twelve hours this semester.
My depression has gotten worse since then. I've been feeling more worthless and less valuable. A couple of weeks ago, I was sure that I was going to take my own life. I vented to my friend that night after having an emotional breakdown. I felt so low that night, so worthless. I knew that me not existing anymore wouldn't have mattered to a lot of people. I wanted to stop hurting. I wanted to stop breathing. I have cried so many nights, feeling sorry for myself and not wanting to live my life anymore.
I stopped responding to his messages and tried to get some sleep that night because I had classes the next morning. At five in the morning, the police came to my room, telling me that someone called them saying that I was going to hurt myself. They turned the lights on, searched my room a bit, and I had to convince them that I did not consume any pills.
Ever since then, I've deactivated my Twitter because I didn't want anyone to have to see my ventings anymore (since I spoke to that friend on Twitter). I plan on returning soon. Probably next week or so.

I've still been feeling really low about myself. I actually ended up crying last night because I felt like shit for not being able to complete an assignment for class. It also doesn't help that my family is currently fighting each other, putting me in an awkward, emotional position. Also, my grandfather went to the hospital this week. Just so much has been going on this semester.
Today was my last day of classes before Spring Break, which I desperately need. I have all of next week off, but I'm going home to check in with my dad and to see if I can possibly visit my grandfather in the hospital. Maybe he will come back while I am home. I can only hope and pray that he will make a speedy recovery.

On a lighter note, I do have some exciting news. After talking to

Blazeymix

about all of the things listed above, she and

sallyhot

have both agreed to let me have partial ownership of their Patreon page! I've already been making images for them (the four pin-up sets I would post each month), but I have more a flexible schedule to post for their Patreon, so I will still be making the same content. I really appreciate

Blazeymix

and

sallyhot

for their love and support, it means so much to me. Their patience has been so reassuring and I hope not to let them down. I've already made a poll on Patreon to see what I should post for this month and the results are in. To see what the winning picture is, you should definitely considering supporting our page: https://www.patreon.com/teamacorn

I would like to start posting on here again. I will try to post more pictures (and work on commissions) next week. I'm so sorry to keep everyone waiting for so long. I appreciate all of your patience and for those of you who are mad at me or who are tired of waiting, then I would like to personally apologize to you all. I'm so sorry my depression has been holding me back and I will try to post more content next week.

Anyway, thank you guys for reading and I hope you guys have a great day/evening.

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Added:	6 years, 9 months ago 24 Mar 2018 00:14 CET

7 Comments on this Journal

Leave a Comment...

TheRevengeX11

6 years, 9 months ago

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Somebody very close to me is struggling with extreme (read: suicidal) depression as well.

You need some stress relief. Just remember, you have plenty of people here cheering for you, cheering you on.

SebbyTH1

6 years, 9 months ago

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Hey, it's quite understandable, We might be people who randomly know you.
and I for one, have never commented/spoken to you, but Mint, if you need to chat things out or more friends to listen to you when ya need it that bad.

I for one am here for ya :> I know your other fans would surely agree, and for SallyHot and BlazeyMix to open there hearts and allow that is also amazing.

That being said, I send hugs and an ear if needed friend.

MaxBBurn

6 years, 9 months ago

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Keep fighting. Don't give up. Don't give in to those thoughts. Those thoughts are not real. You are worthy. You are great and you matter to a lot of people. You need a break and you absolutely deserve it. You're working hard for your future and there's nothing wrong with that. There's nothing wrong with reducing some time so you can have some good ol' R&R as well. There needs to be a balance of both work and relax so hopefully, you can find it.

I'm glad that you got some support from your friends! That's always great to hear. Heheh. I do hope that you start feeling better. It's not much coming from me but I am rooting for ya! Good luck!

ruink

6 years, 9 months ago

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you have been stressed as of late, at least that's what I gathered from your tweets. just remember to pace yourself and don't burn out from the hells of the world.

gfdhghgfhghg

6 years, 9 months ago

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I´m really sorry to hear that.I hope you feel better soon and I wish you many luck for your school.
If you want to talk about something feel free to contact me on dA of here if you want.

I wish you many luck and hope you feel better soon.