I have made several friends online over the past decade or so, I feel really fortunate to have met them and in some cases developed them into a close relationship. I'll forever be thankful for the positive influences in my life. But with the good there is the bad, which I'm going to reflect on a little bit...
I've been lied to, betrayed, and mistreated in various ways by people I called friends. How could I have been so wrong about those people? Why would I accept and try to cultivate a relationship with those who would eventually leave their mark on me? Perhaps I'm a bad judge of character, but I think it was also that I was too eager to make friends, I didn't give people enough time to show me what's under their 'mask'.
It's difficult to rationalize someone lying to you, especially if it's about something important to you. It's worse when they turn out to be a coward & block you when you kindly ask them why they did it. Makes you wonder how many other people you consider friends will eventually lie to you, or already have.
Worse than lying is manipulation, being told someone loves you and would forgive you a million times only to find out they were using you to get to your mate, didn't love you at all and cut ties once they knew they weren't going to get what they want. Experiencing such inconsideration leaves you wondering who else is leading you on, or just saying nice things to get something out of you.
Getting the cold shoulder, for seemingly no reason at all, is another difficult one. This is especially difficult when it's someone you truly thought you had a strong relationship with. Then there's the random furs that mistreat you for seemingly no reason, I guess the're just trolls, but how does someone tell another person to "stop existing"? The way some people treat others online is abhorrent.
There's more, unfortunately, but enough has been said already. I'll likely never fully recover from my experiences, I will likely always have lingering doubts due to the inconsideration of others. I spent the last year or so trying to work through these past events, had to take a break and reconsider what I wanted in life and what I should expect out of furry.
Looking back I regret spending so much time on those who have harmed me. It was a bunch of tough lessons to learn and didn't do much for my faith in humanity but enough time has passed to make the changes needed for a happier future focused on enjoying however many days I have left on this planet.
So while I'm keeping a comfortable distance from online interactions I'm also trying to be genuine throughout. Gone are the days of trying to make good impressions or seek out friendships; I'm just going to be myself. If someone likes who I am we'll see where things go, otherwise I'll focus on established relationships and not worry about it. I've been spread too thin before and I won't allow that to happen again.
So here's to happiness, good friends, loving family, and wonderful mates. ♥
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6 years, 4 months ago
23 Nov 2017 17:10 CET
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