I know I've been still lacking on updates, although I'm trying to get a lot done behind the scenes, albeit at a pace that makes grass growing feel like a fast-paced 10 minute action sequence that wasn't directed by Michael Bay.
What with doing as many art practices on my sketchbook, composing like a madman at every turn I go, while dealing with passing all my classes and such, a lot has been eroding my psyche for some time now. It does not help when I still have to deal with the fact I'm 24 years old and living with my parents still AND have no source of income or job (all of which my mom loves reminding me on a weekly basis).
At the same time, I have done quite a lot over the past couple months, having set up new compositions, scripted a video script, even keep working on art where I can, but I still haven't completed anything spectacular or gotten to the point where I wanna be. Even with an entire summer of job hunting before college started again, I couldn't get anything anywhere (except for Walmart, but fuck Walmart).
It does feel like a "running in circles" moment again, and it kinda sucks since I'm trying to move past my fuck-ups. Although, the only way I'll be able to ease my mind is if I can accomplish 3 things:
1) Find a source of income that pays $500 a month
2) Assure that my college would be paid for the next 2 years
3) Securing possible jobs that is in relation to my pursuits for music
Even with those possibly being accomplished, the one thing I fear is having no time at all for the things I'd love to do like drawing comics, smut, or even just talking shit about games or current trends on YouTube. Juvenile as it may seem, these things are cathartic for me in the long run.
Honestly, if I had to start up a Patreon or some sort of income-generator, I'd probably first have to put 50 hours a week just to get content out. Already hard to do when I'm spending 50 already on school or deflating from school . . .
"Being stuck between a rock and a hard place" feels like an understatement at this point.
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6 years, 5 months ago
28 Oct 2017 17:15 CEST
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