I'm not really sure where I'm going with this journal, but I will dust my journals off by saying to you all: Happy F*cking Summer of 2017 everybody! Hope everybody is having a good time, because I'm having a great time as I go forward in life this year. I'm on my way to getting new content out, eventually! But really that's all I have to say on that end. Just, stay cool this Summer of 2017, and thanks for being patient with me, even if all my fans are about 90 years old by now because oh my god, I need to update my gallery. I just keep planning projects and making them without even finishing a single one. I AM NEVER DOING THAT AGAIN!! Anyway, with that out of the way...
...I'm not even sure what to say, but I want to mention that I believe that 2017, compared to the past few years anyway, is the year of honesty. I feel like everybody in the first 3 1/2 months it's the most honest freaking year to date. For example, I think we're all in the phase that we are accepting who the President is, in the U.S. obviously, but around the world we are looking at things and we're starting to accept things as they are. You know, like I can resist this thing if I want to, but it is at the end of the day, the reality is still there that yes guys, Donald Trump is our President. But this journal is not about that, I'm just saying that it feels like since he's been inaugurated that it's just been this moment, and now everybody is kind of just being honest with how they feel.
Feelings are important. Feelings are things that people claim they don't have, but they do. Only people like Ted Bundy don't have feelings, and he KILLED a lot of people! So don't be comparing yourselves to that motherfucker! It's one thing to be honest with other people, and it's one thing to be honest with how you feel. And it seems like people in general are interacting with each other on a much nicer basis. Like, people are being more respectful of others' opinions. Instead of getting into this huge big drama spit back, and clap back kind of fight, people are kind of acknowledging that "okay that person is kind of crazy, and I don't want to get into it with them." And everything gets forgotten after. And that's a good thing. It's a very good thing, and I think that comes from our innate honesty that we are feeling.
Society right now is being the most honest it can possibly be. Everybody within their own camps now, and their own groups now, are starting to do things that I HOPED they would do last year: calling out shitty behaviors in their own camps. Even I had to break off a couple so-called friendships about a month ago because of the way they reacted and behaved around me, and it was just becoming too toxic for me to even handle. That's a good thing. Everybody is starting to see shitty behavior happening. Like there was a white person on Twitter saying "I hate all white people" or "Death to all white people", or something along those lines. That's a weird thing to say, dude! And you've got ultra-conservative god-fearing women calling black people "ferals". THAT'S A WEIRD THING TO SAY, DON'T DO THAT!!! And you even have some edgy fedora-tipping police officers calling all anime fans, especially gaming/anime fans "violent, rapey, pedophiles." DON'T FUCKING SAY THAT SHIT, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! *Ahem* So in some respects, this honesty that we are feeling, and the way that we are portraying how we honestly feel, it can take some turns for really shitty behavior, too. And it's good to be acknowledging of that.
My problem, what has always been my problem, is that I expect the same amount of honesty from everybody. I had a lot of expectations on things, and because of that and the things I've been observing and feeling, and it kind of all blew up in my face. And that really sucks, but sometimes things just don't work out the way I want them to... Everything I say and do always tends to flip on itself when I least expect it. I hate it. I really hate it. See, that's me being honest with you guys right now, I hate that that happens!
It's just... I'm pleased with how things are going as of late. I mean yes, the news still likes to portray everything as crazy and everyone reacts to it, but I'm very pleased with how things have happened. For example, The Internet is now saying "Old media is dying." And 'Old media', the news, is saying "the Internet is just a bunch of jerks." It's like, guys... you're both not going anywhere! Old media and the Internet, they're both not going anywhere. So, why not work together, instead of fighting it out, you know? What are you doing guys? There's ways for multiple platforms to crossover. You can have one entity cross over into another, or have one entity help another. But you got to have that honest kind of talk with one another. Like, honestly tell them "you're doing a good job". It's not a bad thing to give your fellow human being compliments, and give them credit where credit is due. But also tell them all the bad that happens, too. That's an honest thing to do, to ask people "where am I screwing up? What am I doing wrong? Where am I going wrong? Help me!" And I think that comes at the expense of being honest with yourself, which seems like a tall order for some people. It's tough, really tough, to ask someone to look at themselves, but it's also very difficult to just be sitting with yourself in a space and have to assess everything about yourself, and go "no, maybe I don't have it all together. Maybe I don't know what I'm doing." But it's not something you have to be in fear of.
Again, I'm not really sure where I'm even going with this journal entry, but something is telling me to make more stuff and be more honest with my imagination. And also be more honest with people, and not be this cloistered person who talks to himself all day, with all my creativity and imagination drained out of me because of the outside world in the past two to three years. Because that's what I've been, and how I've always been, and especially these days where I just have nothing else. I only have myself. It's like I was forced to take this honest look at what I'm doing, and... I don't feel bad about it, but I also need to be better at it. I need to be better at this entertainment thing, and that child-like escapist thing, too. I need to be better at playing more games, I need to be better at the whole Otaku thing of watching anime and getting immersed in Japanese culture. I ESPECIALLY need to get better at RPG Maker so I can truly be the games designer I wish I can be. And also getting better at other creative endeavors like drawing and writing, and putting everything out there for you guys on a much more consistent basis. To make up for lost time... You know? I can't tell you what it is you need to be better at. I don't know what that thing is, but I hope that as we talk about this going forward, that everyone here will find their thing. And finding what it is that they're desiring most in life. For some people it's love, and for others it's wealth, and other's it's knowledge and expression. You know, I only see good things as we continue this honesty streak. It can't be a bad thing. Just, honest content. Hehe, as honest as one can be.
And the best thing about this is that people are starting to call out more and more. They're starting to see where people are being shady and they're starting to call attention to that more. And even if it's not in any kind of malicious intent, people are starting to wake up and notice that "yeah, maybe we have been lied to" or maybe "someone that I care about is lying to me, and they don't care." I've especially seen that happen in the gaming community, after a couple years of bullshit certain 'figure heads' of the gamers' side of the community have been spewing against those that don't deserve it. In the end, you just have to let people go. And it sounds simple. And sometimes it can be, other times it can be complex as fuuuuuuck. So anyway, thank you everyone for still being there for me, and I hope you have an amazing Summer. I'm looking forward to leaving all my bad feelings behind and be the happy human furry lover you all know and love. And I can't wait! With that, I'm gonna end it with a song, and get ready to have some fun. (Morenatsu, Nintendo Switch, and my drawing supplies at my Grandma's house. It's gonna be great.)
Take care you guys. I'll always love you. ~ Eric M. Lewis and Kimahri Ronso
