Low self worth, fear of abandonment, unstable emotions, feeling of emptiness, dissociation;
This is how I feel when I go through a depression spell. Some days I can deal with it and function. Other days I want to curl up into a ball and disappear. I feel like my issues are keeping me from enjoying the time I have with Stephen, the kids and my in-laws. I feel helpless trying to combat it on my own. It's like I completely shut down and all that's left is a shell to interact with my family.

Stephen has recently been diagnosed with Manic Depression due to PTSD from serving in the army and is getting help for it. He's been watching me closely and comparing my symptoms with his to try to help figure out what I'm going through. He seems to think I suffer from a bit of cabin fever since I stay home with Haley.

I hate when I have a spell. It could last anywhere from a couple of hours to a few days. I won't eat anything unless Stephen coaxes me into it. The tiniest little thing will upset me and will have me bawling or I'll just cry for no apparent reason.

I'm not aware of any family history of depression. I remember I got Post-Partum Depression BAD after I had Connor and Haley. Losing my dad, dealing with the estate, and having my blood family abandon me is probably the cause for most of it. The daily stress just adds to it.

Opening up about it helps...I just need to find the time to go see a doctor or specialist about it.