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I have written a long story, and need somebody to look it over for errors. I started with a story somebody else wrote, with human, mostly female characters.  I rewrote it as a furry story, with mostly male characters.

ALso, when you write a story where all the characters are the same sex you sometimes get into some awkward grammar. With opposite-sex characters you can use "he" and "she" to distinguish.  the original tells only what the main character sees/does (except for the epilogue), so I also changed it to be first-person. Then a lot of scenes can be "I" and "he". So the main character's name, Wynn, should not occur outside of quotation marks, never in descriptive text.

Story codes: M/M, furry, cons, hanging, snuff, slow
Warning, it's 400,000 words long (in 7 sections).

If anybody is willing to either detail-edit or read it and comment on whether the overall story works (and especially whether my alternate ending is believable), please write me, APDamien@ca.rr.com
Viewed: 9 times
Added: 7 years, 1 month ago
7 years ago
Just a note, people won't see your journal here unless they are watching you, or just happen to be browsing your profile.  If you post the story as a story submission, it will be visible to everyone (assuming they aren't blocking certain keywords.)
7 years ago
I have posted the start of the story.  I hope somebody will be interested.
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