I'll admit it. I'm VERY socially inept. I simply don't know how to relate to people.
Every time I go to say something, it feels as though I'm taking a risk. Most of the time, it feels like people just humor me for saying something stupid (which I seem to be incapable of NOT doing), but every once in a while I'll say something that just draws the ire of the person it's directed to. I don't feel at the time like it's anything rude or mean-spirited or just plain random, but in retrospect, I always seem to kick myself afterward. It's as if nothing I can ever say can be good...and it's only certain times when people let me know in no uncertain terms that I suck.
I think I had one of those moments earlier this evening. And the worst part of it is, it's the second time it's happened with this person. For most people that may not be so big of a deal...they'll laugh off the derp, pick themselves back up and go back to their business. But for me, I may as well pack up, go home and cry. The sad part of it all is that quite often, that's exactly what I end up doing.
You know, I've often wondered why I've been perpetually single for almost 10 years. Moments like this remind me of the reason...I can't think before I speak, and when I do, it's all too obvious that I'm incapable of intelligent thought. No wonder I'm almost 40 and still single.
*sigh* What can I do?
8 years, 6 months ago
14 Sep 2010 03:14 CEST