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Priest22

*SNAP*

You really might not want to read this.

This is a rant journal - and it will be deleted.  I am just so fucking angry right now that I need to write it down.

This will contain lots of bad language.

I swear to God - I don't need a hobby that makes me want to slit my wrists.  WHY CAN'T I FUCKING DRAW?!  Some days it's okay, some days it's FUCK.  FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK.  I just want to do one little picture - just something for a sick friend.  I just want to do it and have something nice to show that I care.  I love what I see in my head - it's all there, just have to put it down - and I start, and I erase, and I start, AND I GODDAMN ERASE, AND I START OVER, AND I FUCKING SNAP.

I draw.  I DRAW A FUCKING LOT!  I draw so goddamn much, and it's always FUCKED.  I like the picture I'm working on the first fucking 50 TIMES I REDRAW THE GODDAMN THING.  Then it gets a little old.

I don't fucking know my basic anatomy.  Sing it with me!  I DON'T GODDAMN WELL KNOW MY BASIC ANATOMY.  I CAN'T BUILD STRUCTURE FOR SHIT.  I KEEP GOING BACK TO THE SAME GODDAMN POSES BECAUSE I KNOW I'LL SPEND THE NEXT 10 GODDAMN HOURS REDRAWING THE SAME SHIT, BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DO IT RIGHT!!!

I have a backlog of shit that I can't get done.  Sketches.  MOTHERFUCKING SKETCHES.  I want to finish this shit so fucking bad I can taste it, like fucking blood in my mouth.  I WILL KEEP BEATING MY FUCKING HEAD AGAINST THIS WALL TILL ONE OF US BREAKS, CAUSE WHY?  I FUCKING LEARNED IT WRONG THE FIRST TIME!  

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUUUUUUCK YOU INABILITY, FUCK YOU ERASER, FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU BRAIN - FUCKING JUST DRAW THAT SHIT GODDAMN IT.  WHY WON'T YOU WORK?!?!?!?!  WHY CAN I SEE IT AND NOT BE ABLE TO DRAW IT!?

ARRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Viewed: 115 times
Added: 7 years, 2 months ago
 
Nareimooncatt
7 years, 2 months ago
Well you certainly don't seem to have writers block. >o.o<

You know I'm no artist, so I can't really give you any constructive advice. Instead, I hope my bit of humor helped you chuckle and ease the pressure. At least a little bit.
Priest22
7 years, 2 months ago
That was a terrible joke - thanks man :)

Nah, I felt better after I wrote the journal.  I'm just having...a day.

I do have to figure something out - how to learn the basics at this late stage in the game - before I lose my mind.
RallyFox
7 years, 2 months ago
I'd suggest doing a google image search for artist model poses and practice drawing some of those. They can help with basic anatomy skills.

Also, *bunnycuddles*
Priest22
7 years, 2 months ago
Thanks Rally.  I kinda know what to do and where to start, I just - I dunno.

I have found that the more I hate drawing, the more I beat myself to death doing it, the more I don't ever want to touch a pencil again - that is when I do my best work.

Also, *Hugs the Rally* thanks for saying something :)
SockBunny
7 years, 2 months ago
I get that sometimes. draw really well one day and the next i cant draw for shit.
Don't worry it will pass. besides your draw awesomely already in my opinion. =D
Priest22
7 years, 2 months ago
It almost makes me want to cry that you said that - the picture I've been trying to do all day was a 'Get Well' for you >.<

...and now you're here making me feel better...

:)  Thank you Socky
SockBunny
7 years, 2 months ago
Awww really? OMG your so sweet Preist. I mean... Gosh!  I just wana give you a great big hug!!!   X3

Dont worry you dont have to draw it if your not in the zone. Your gesture more than make my dat =D
Priest22
7 years, 2 months ago
I'm gonna finish it *all sorts of determined*
Infinityplus1
7 years, 2 months ago
I can relate.  That happens to me more than you might think.  What I do is kind of the opposite of what would seem natural.  I chill out.  I tell myself, "I don't care if what I draw looks like shit right now.  I just want to draw." Anxiety is the killer of creativity.  Artists are at they're finest when they are completely unselfconscious.  I'm at my most creative when I'm having fun, and if I stress over my output, I'm not having fun.  

Gesture drawings can help if you want to try drawing different poses.  Pick a pose you want to draw, or a piece of art you want to see if you can recreate.  But only give yourself a short time to do as much as you can, and don't concern yourself if the results look awful.  The right brain is a paradox, it likes new things, likes challenges, but it can be easily discouraged.  When you get in a funk, it might just be bored.  Try drawing something in a radically different style.  If you listen to music while you draw, try a new genre you don't normally listen to.

 Also, sometimes your subconscious will try to solve your drawing problems for you while you do other things.  But only if it's very fascinated by it.  If the problem causes too much stress, it will simply be ignored.  The most talented artists have perfect command over their muse.  But the rest of us have to train ourselves until those actions that compel our creativity become automatic.

I hope you find this helpful.  I had to write it twice because my computer crashed.  lol

The second time was actually easier, because I didn't stress about it, and I had practice writing it the first time.  Just think about it like that.  Failures are practice. lol
Priest22
7 years, 2 months ago
That - is fucking brilliant!  
Brainsister
Brainsister
was trying to get me to do 'sprint drawing' to kill the over analyzation I usually pull on my stuff - and what you said just clicks with it.  That fucking makes SENSE.  That's saying a lot man, you just don't know.

Thanks!!
Infinityplus1
7 years, 2 months ago
You're welcome.   Brainsister is probably a bolder artist than I am.  It's what helps her excel.

I actually don't do speed drawing as much as I should, but it really does help.  Drawing fast trains your brain to commit things to memory quickly.  And don't be afraid to correct things on the fly, but don't take very long to do it. Your pencil or stylus should be in near constant motion.  Don't give yourself time to doubt or become frustrated.  If you get stuck, just move on.

My art instructor actually used to change a still life in the middle of my drawing or painting.  This was so that there would be something major I would have to correct.  Sometimes I get too complacent with what I make, even though it's wrong.  Never be afraid to make a major alteration to correct something that needs correcting.  But, save a copy first if you can, lol.  And never become so committed to a piece of work that you can't change it if something is horribly wrong.  I still have difficulty with this.
Priest22
7 years, 2 months ago
I'm trying a variation on what you've suggested.  It's an amalgamation of what you and
lupinlover
lupinlover
suggested

I'm doing a layer, not allowing myself to erase, then drawing over in another color on another layer, and repeating the process.

If I keep my mind thinking 'this is still just a sketch, just relax, none of these are final lines', then it helps.  Or it is right now.  I'm going back to ye old stick figures for the moment to try to restart this stuff.  I need to try making a major change in the middle - I need to break my 'work on minutia forever'.

I'm working by what you've said, so I'm going to try several of the suggestions presented here.
Infinityplus1
7 years, 2 months ago
Cool,  I hope you enjoy it :)
Priest22
7 years, 2 months ago
It...she tries to break me!
Infinityplus1
7 years, 2 months ago
lolwhut?
Gothica
7 years, 2 months ago
you  know what help with anatomy its what i use is porn mags go and buy a bunch of them it will help but for gawds sake steer clear of the big brands like playboy or penthouse they no longer have anything good and have become pretty much a place for ads
Priest22
7 years, 2 months ago
I used to use the 1-900-BIG-ANUS type ads to draw from - Hustler just became too normal to work from - and I honestly forgot all about that.

Since there's been such a big stink about tracing and referencing in the fandom, I've avoided using all reference for a while now.

I really didn't think about it till you said something, but for some reason, my stupid ass decided 'Oh not me, I'm gonna do everything from my head!  No referencing here!'

Oh man.  Yeah, I'm gonna do this.  Grab some porn and go.  Fuck yeah.
Gothica
7 years, 2 months ago
thats what i use when ever i draw i could careless what others say about my stuff but i don't use the entire image any way if theirs a certain pose i want i'll tinkle with it and sometimes i just use a single body b\part like the arm or somthing lol :P
Priest22
7 years, 2 months ago
Well, you know how much I like your stuff too, so anybody who doesn't can shove off :)

I know you meant to say 'tinker with it', but 'tinkle with it' sounded cute for some reason.


Gothica
7 years, 2 months ago
well technically  not all the art i post is done by me its mostly commissions but every now and then i do draw or i use 3d modles :3
xichan
7 years, 2 months ago
Dunno if this'll help or not or if you're just ranting to get it out(trust me, I know how that can be sometimes!) but if you like, I can give you a lesson in layout. It's pretty simple and takes very little time to do, so practice is quick. Anyways. Yeah.

Can't help much with the anatomy beyond that...
Priest22
7 years, 2 months ago
Getting things positioned plays into my anatomy problem.  Yes, I'd like to see how you do layout.  
xichan
7 years, 2 months ago
Well hey, I can totally help you with that! Are you familiar with the concept of skeletal layout in sketchwork? This is going to sound very silly, but effectively, it's drawing stick figures. The entirety of a pose can be represented(and rather accurately) by a glorified stick figure. This has several advantages - you can see how well a pose is going to work before you start drawing in the details. Also, since you're working with just a few lines, it's easy to erase and draw new lines if you're not happy. It's also easy to bang out 10-20 quick scribbly layouts to see which pose you prefer and find a good one to work with. Since everything is simplified by being just a few lines, it's easy to see that you have the proportions all correct as well. I usually draw my layouts very faintly, and then draw right over them, often incorporating the light scribbly lines from the composition into the final drawing. Those that I don't incorporate are often erased when I adjust the levels of the graphite before posting, when I'm posting graphite work.

If you would like, there is a fairly good tutorial on layout at this site:
http://www.elfwood.com/farp/figure/williamlibodyconstr...

Or if you would prefer, after I'm done with my current commission, I could draw you a step by step tutorial of my own, by simply doing a graphite sketch and scanning every step so you can see how I do it.
Priest22
7 years, 2 months ago
*placeholder reply*

I want to see how you work, and thank you for the link - I was thinking back to basics with ye old stickies was a good place to start - I gotta get back to work, but I wanted to say something first
xichan
7 years, 2 months ago
S'all good! My current commission(and a family vacation) is going to keep me busy AT LEAST until after next Wednesday, but I'll see what I can come up with for you!
Priest22
7 years, 2 months ago
That's great - I've got to go into Canada tomorrow, and probably will be without internet for a few days.  I can get some sketches done trying the stick figure layout and other things suggested, and I'll at least have a basis to work from when you get back.

Thanks for taking the time to reply
xichan
7 years, 2 months ago
You bet! I Love your style - very cartoony, but sexy too. I look forward to seeing what you can do once you've gotten the hang of other poses!

Although, I have to say, if you have to fixate on one or two poses, the few you have chosen are very nice poses.
craigg
7 years, 2 months ago
get a few books on the subject
Priest22
7 years, 2 months ago
Done and done - I've found a few that have 'porn for dummies' type stuff
lupinlover
7 years, 2 months ago
Try not erasing at all and just push through and finish a peace. that way it will be done for better or worse and you will at least gain some more artist EXP.
Priest22
7 years, 2 months ago
Thanks, I'm trying this along with what
Infinityplus1
Infinityplus1
said - I'm still having a bit of a problem, but not erasing is a heaven and hell type situation.
RadaMan
7 years, 2 months ago
I have had the biggest drawers block for 2 months i could use some help myself lol
Priest22
7 years, 2 months ago
You know what I suggest :P
RadaMan
7 years, 2 months ago
What do you suggest my friend?
Priest22
7 years, 2 months ago
Write a Shelly story - just a short story about her day, who she meets, possibly about her taking a shower and masturbating, or someone knocking on her bedroom window - and whatever happens.

Plenty of naughty description, just let your mind go pervy.  This will break that art block quick - and give you (and me) fun & dirty ideas for pictures.  

It doesn't have to be great, just give it a try :)
SenGrisane
7 years, 2 months ago
Then draw a picture with flawed anatomy. I do it all the time <.<
It's not the end of the world and your friend will see you care still.

And if you post a picture where you think your anatomy is flawed you can ask for advice on how to correct it even. Don'tbe shy. People are nicer than you think.
You could even send them to just to me if you really don't want anyone to see them and want critique.
Priest22
7 years, 2 months ago
I'm probably going to take you up on this.

I'm trying the 'dont erase' thing first - and I'm going to post the results, no matter how painful.

Thanks Donkey :)
SenGrisane
7 years, 2 months ago
Okay. Looking forward to it. ^^
PuPpYsKuLl
7 years, 2 months ago
I'M SORRY BUT
I LAUGHED THE WHOLE TIME I READ THIS.

I
Know how you feel though dfhghdf
I can't ever draw anything anymore cause to me, ALL of my art is horrible.
just take a break of something, it'll come back to you in time I'm sure
Priest22
7 years, 2 months ago
LIES!

The worst thing is, I've heard you laughing, and I can imagine you laughing through this whole thing
Paynecabal
7 years, 2 months ago
My suggestion is usually to get through some cheap ass paper and doodle away ... then crumple the shit out of it.
Trust me it helps getting the frustration out!
Priest22
7 years, 2 months ago
Draw stuff to scrap?  That might stop a lot of this 'gotta try to get this shit perfect' type problem...

Yeah, I'm trying this too.  Good one, thanks
Amaterasu
7 years, 2 months ago
I hate that feeling, i always have that feeling
Priest22
7 years, 2 months ago
I am really surprised to hear you say that - considering how good you are?

Maybe you just need a couple of girls to model nude for you?  

...err...maybe that might not be such a good idea :3
CrystalMendrilia
7 years, 2 months ago
Thank you.  I actually feel better knowing that doesn't only happen to me.  I haven't posted anything in a long time, despite how I am still drawing. Just, I never finish anything, or I'm too embarrassed by its lack of quality.
Priest22
7 years, 2 months ago
Hell, then we can go through this together.  I'm going to start posting things that I feel are - well, shit.  I'm just going to bite it and post it.  Maybe you can do the same?  We can feel embarrassed about our art at the same time - kind of like supporting one another.
CrystalMendrilia
7 years, 2 months ago
Hehehe, alright, though most of the things I've been doing is practice on paper so I can't post those, but yeah. I'll start posting the unfinished stuff, scratched things too. ^_^    obviously we both are masochists. :p
Norithics
7 years, 2 months ago
Ahhh, ranting. Good for the soul. Now it's time for my annoying 'You know what I do?'!

I like keeping around very elementary media. Big, thick pencils, sharpie markers, anything that forces me to draw very basically. It takes you back to the basics of shape-forming. Hell, one of my favorite things to do is to get colored soap markers and draw tits on the shower wall. It's primitive, fun and refreshing.
Priest22
7 years, 2 months ago
Do you ever see patterns in stuff?  I see them in stains, on bumpy walls, everywhere.  I see faces and porn and all sorts of weird things.  

Maybe it would help if I connected the dots.  I wonder if the next person to use the shower after me would wonder what the hell was going on?

My thing is I get 'stuck' in one way of doing things.  I'm so ADD that I have developed a OCD type response to keep on track.  It makes it very hard to switch between doing different types of things (for a really silly example, I stop commenting when I'm trying to draw - and when I get something drawn and finished, I start commenting again because I just did the description on the picture - hence, started typing, hence my brain goes 'that's what we're doing now'

Breaking this up, forcing myself to go back and forth might have real benefits - now that I'm fast enough drawing to be able to screw up quickly, but then start something else...hmmm....

I gotta get back to my job, I'll check back to see if you have any more advice later
SenGrisane
7 years, 2 months ago
What are soap markers?
Paynecabal
7 years, 2 months ago
Kid toys to have fun with when they bathe.
SenGrisane
7 years, 2 months ago
Oh. interesting ^^
Thanks
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