Getting Used to the Single life

Well, Im settling in slowly, but after what happened, theres no way I can forgive her.

I still love her, but I resent her, for breaking my heart and leavig me all by my lonesome.

I've been trying to take my mind off things, spend time with my friends, but the news I learned

yesterday keeps ruining my mood and poisoning my thoughts. It was something we had

planned to do together, and now I just wanna get rid of it and get rid of this jealousy.

Ugh, why must life be so cruel. Well, I've almost finished changing info on different

Sites, updating pictures and bios, etc. Life is tough now, But I have my like 15 friends to turn to, Online or

In real life. They assured me what I did was within reason, and since She made her move, theres no turning

back~~ So, life sucks, but is slowly, ever so slowly turning up for the best~

Viewed:	5 times
Added:	10 years, 2 months ago 03 Nov 2014 21:26 CET

8 Comments on this Journal

Leave a Comment...

XxBayBayxX

10 years, 2 months ago

link

I still hope the best for you man. :/

BUT FOR REALS IF YOU NEED ANYTHING JUST ASK.

//totallyforgottounwatchsorry

XxConvelxX

10 years, 2 months ago

link

@ XxBayBayxX

Yeah..I just unwatched you like 5 minutes ago after getting all that art in my feed :/

If I ever NEED anything, I'll ask. Please understand that you wont be the first person I'll go to.

XxBayBayxX

10 years, 2 months ago

link

@ XxConvelxX

I know. I'm not important to you anymore, so it's fine if you don't go to me. >w<

And I did say "need" I'm not here for casual conversation with you.
Now if you need me, I'll be saving your mental life. Because after yesterday everyone is riled.
And everyone wants after you, but I refuse. ;o;

XxConvelxX

10 years, 2 months ago

link

@ XxBayBayxX

Well to each their own, Everyody here wants to get at you. So it appears we could start a huge war.

But you can't deny that you started that. I was completely at peace, I had come to acceptance, and you decided to message me randomly, because you didnt want me moving on and leaving you. When I said for you to say sorry, I hope you realize thats what I meant. To realize what you'd done. In the moment you pulled that bitch move, I SNAPPED. You knew how much that meant to me, and you waved it in my face like a dirty rag. I still feel teeming pools of rage towards you for that, And I just wanna go and get a FWB to lose mine now.

I gave you my heart, my trust, my body and soul, specifically for you, and you tossed it all aside. So now Im picking up the pieces, my mind caught between watching you back and hating your guts. :/

XxBayBayxX

10 years, 2 months ago

link

@ XxConvelxX

Well I'm sorry. I'm sorry that again, I'm stupid. I lost it just like you did. And I wish we could just rewind and redo the friendship that we had. Because seriously this war can't happen.

That's why, in honor of this. I'm redoing everything. Deleting my Facebooks, making new online accounts, getting a new number, and stopping all interaction with the internet world...well...Imma keep my friends on my phone but I'll need to get some number out there.

You and I...are two...seriously stupid people. Like ohmigod.

XxConvelxX

10 years, 2 months ago

link

@ XxBayBayxX

~chuckles~ Well, I feel that is whats best. Dont delete your account, keep me unblocked, just never use it. I wanna be able to look back at all the posts we shared, when I'm more mentally stable. And I know you will want to aswell. So as per request, keep them online, just dont use em.

And Birds of a feather flock together.

And, you were right. I really should have listened to you at the beginning. Heh...I didnt realize it would get out of hand. Perhaps we shoulda just never dated, We would still be friends.

But We cant sit here and wonder what if's all day long. What done is done, you crossed the line, I crossed the line, and now we have to pay the price. We cant be friends, and I cant bear seeing you. I know I need to move on. :/

XxBayBayxX

10 years, 2 months ago

link

@ XxConvelxX

Yeah. ~sighs~

We're going to break, I just know it.

~looks away~ We can never truly stay apart, we're too attached. Moving on is harder because we truly did love each other.
Like they say, one you say you love a person they are in your heart forever.
People tell me "oh block him, delete him, get him away". But I always say, "nah. He's still good in my mind."
I still care about ya, even though I turned all bipolar in the end. I still have all the stuff you gave me that I hung on my wall? It's all still there. I never took anything down, put it away, nothing. I haven't even deleted the couple photos off my phone. My brain is that mentally attached still.
But eh, I'll get rid of that stuff some day.

Welp, school is almost out, so if you wanna reply, I won't see it till tomorrow, but if you truly wanna talk, you know where to find me.

XxConvelxX

10 years, 2 months ago

link

@ XxBayBayxX

Well, All of the art you sent me is still up, and although I cant look at now without tearing up, I refuse to take it down. Its become a part of me. And you're right, we're too attached. We'll never truely forget eachother. I've deleted all the couple stuff on my phone, to prevent me from breaking in school. People tell me the same thing. That I should block you, forget you, and just be done of it. Well, I cant. And Its not for the same reason you cant. You're not 'good' in my mind. My mind is torn. You broke up with me, and gave away that which you promised to me, and yet you sat there, expecting me to say single while you had Kenny. For that, Im furious. Im downright pissed. But...All the memories we shared, all the phone calls we had, and movies we watched, that still thrives, in a garden of my mind, while chaos burns in the sky, this garden has withstood it. I love you still, But I hate you for what you did. I dont know if I can ever forgive you, but I have to try. If Naruto's taught me anything, its that Pain only creates more pain. I need to find a way, to break that cycle in myself. I just dont know how.

New Comment:

Move reply box to top ↑

Log in or create an account to comment.