Im thinking about writing short stories on here and was wondering what you all think. He is an Excerpt from my book. Give me your honest opinion.
"It began as a normal summer day just before my twentieth birthday, I was walking home after a normal walk to the store. I dont own a car yet so i basically walk everywhere. Well i was on my way back from the Dollar General with some cigarettes for my grandmother. I stopped for a moment to catch my breath. I suddenly heard a click from behind my head and then i hear,
"No sudden moves and everything will be fine. Ease your wallet out of your back pocket and hand it back to me. Don't look at me." A stranger said as he placed his Colt .45 to the back of my head.
I froze not knowing what to do. I started to pull my wallet out of my back pocket.
"O-ok man just take it easy" I said as i handed it to him. The sun was getting low and the moon was just behind the clouds. So i knew i wasn't gonna make it back before dark. "L-look man i gotta get home before it gets to dark." I said trying to get away.
"Hold it. This all ya got. This isn't even enough to wipe my ass with."
"I'm s-sorry man. I'm very poor."
"Well i guess I'm going to have to find another reason to keep you quiet." He said as he grabbed my arm and pulled me into an alleyway.
Something snapped in me that night because i blacked out with i went in that alley way. Not sure how long i was out but all i know is that when i entered that alley, it was dark. I opened my eyes and saw the warm rays of the sun on my face. I looked around and there was blood everywhere. The body of the mugger was laying on he ground mutilated and chewed upon, Yes chewed on. Someone or something ate the mugger and left me, Or so i thought. I looked down and my clothes were ripped up and blood-soaked but i had no scratch on me.
I had blood under my nails and i pulled what looks to be a scrap of flesh from my teeth. I immediately puked when i saw it. I looked back at the body and noticed black fur on the body and some strewn around the body. I saw claw marks on the walls and the ground. I was horrified and ran away as fast as i possibly could.
I ran all the way home and ran straight into my room. My grandmother was asleep and knew i stayed out late so she wasn't to worried to stay up for me. I threw off my ripped up blood-soaked clothes and threw them away. I jumped in the shower and stayed in until the water ran cold. I dried off and laid down in bed hoping it was all just a bad nightmare. I soon drifted into a restless sleep plagued by visions of gruesome images of a monstrous creature and the mugger. "
Please be honest...
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10 years, 4 months ago
26 Aug 2014 01:22 CEST
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