(warning, this is a vent that is self-centered in nature, considered yourself warned)
Writing ability, specifically the lack thereof. Came to a conclusion that, despite my efforts I'll likely be unable to write terribly well. I can read a story, dissect it, readily find the flow, where there is content lacking, what characters should be more developed, whether or not a scene should be in a specific place, where the author themselves should look for or at least express a better understanding of a subject material. This all comes to me easily.
It's not what I want to do. I want to write, but when it comes to what I write I'll push out the start of an idea and then start to see all these issues, but not know how to correct them. I'll get so caught up in seeing this brick wall that I can't find the tunnel that leads me past it. Getting stuck at the wall, I eventually abandon the project no matter how far along I get. Some stories I spend months developing, some just a few days, and each one I wind up never posting or outright trashing because I have the idea, but I just cannot convey it.
That doesn't mean I am going to stop. I'll continue, but I'm just being realistic in that no matter what I write it will never be up to what I want and chances are that they won't be anything special, won't get more than a handful of views and possibly one or two comments at best. That's if I post anything at all.
Yes, I am aware that this is just whiney tripe that most people wouldn't give a damn about, anybody who is a writer would give even less so. Just a bit of venting at a percieved hopelessness turned into acceptance of mediocrity. Guess that's what is upsetting me the most, the mediocrity and being unable to breach the wall due to lacking the skill and/or insight necessary to do so.
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10 years, 9 months ago
21 Apr 2014 01:07 CEST
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