i'm not leaving any memory behind so you can forget about me, "mom"....
well today in the morning while i was playing video game i over heard my mom's conversation with dad which felt more towards me "each and everyone of them born man only to be that, i swear that their cock will rott ,and in the end they will be the one suffering terribly to be against god" or something like that... i felt terrible B/c it never seems like she can find anything positive about me unless she just want to use it to brag to everyone else so everyone can think she's perfect
but what she said felt like her true color and it felt like she was saying that "hey i'm badd ass and i'll eventually get what i deserve...." all b/c i'm bisexual...
and well later on during the day
feeling depress from hearing that i just listen to my MP3 in full blast and went to bed , i heard something banging and realize it was my mother who was tying to tell me to pick up the stack of paper i had in the living room , this stack had everything i needed for the college form since it wasn't completely done so as i got up i heard her said
"THATS IT I'LL THROW THESE PAPER AWAY AND RECYCLE IT!!" thats all i heard when i got up so i hurried.. when i just got out the door i notice her with the plastic bag in her hand so i ran towards the pile n as she try to grab the papers i stomp on the it to stop her. she seemed like she was still trying to grab the papers ,so after being depress frm she said n understanding that she was trying to throw away the paper regardless i just ducked giving her a headbutt. this is what causing the problem ...or made it worst... at that instant she got pissed and grabbed her sandal to spank me she hit me 2 time (she had a 3rd attempt in which she failed since i block her arm b4 it fully reach me... i got more depress n left to my room but i got the idea she was doing something so i kept going inn out of my room..... eventually
she called the internet company to remove the net... (she failed the 1st time since i pulled the bill out of her hand
n well beside that i hate her she keeps acting so innocent about the situation like if i was the big bad wolf coming in n ruining her life, sounds fair? she never take the time to think her own action through. but how the hell can u act so innocent if you're getting urself involve negatively in the first place? "for no reason he hit me hard on my head to the fact my head hurts so badly. i swear he'll kill me".....
why is it that just about everyone i know say i'm nice, cool ,or kind ( a friend in particular even bought me a game B/c i was nice) and yet mom describe me as evil, or as the bad-guy while she saying thing about god punishing me or "you'll get what you deserve? some of my friends even know i'm bisexual n they still accept me n say those same stuff? its fucking embarrassing to know that anyone can accept me so easily n in an instant to still describing me as cool/nice, yet my own mother ,my own flesh n blood can't even do that for a second after a week has gone by?
at this point i'll do her the favor once and for all: the moment i leave this home when i go to college im never calling her mother again. B/c by the looks of it i never really had her as a true mother... i already took some of my picture frm some old albums ,on the last week i'll cut my face off of the rest of the group pictures. i'm not leaving anything behind im taking whatever i can with me so he can forget me for good... beside she said she was ganna do it i'm just confirming it ...
so "i'm not leaving any memory behind so you can forget about me"
8 years, 12 months ago
22 Jul 2010 05:08 CEST