I deleted my own Livejournal last night, as well as a few other accounts, but they weren't really important any way, as they were only created to respond to and be part of drama.
Why? I'm done with LJ, and drama. I had removed myself from the drama communities like FD_2, WTF_FA, etc, little over two weeks or so ago. But this was something I did to remove the craving to rejoin (an issue i'll address below) for good.
I'm trying to get over that mistake of a phase in my life, and do what people have suggested: Grow the fuck up. Being a drama whore was fun for awhile (I guess), but overall it was a mere addiction, I think. o.O It's weird what kind of weird, mundane things can manifest themselves into an addiction or a compulsion. But it happens.
I have ZERO desire to get back into drama, the communities, people also involved deeply with it, let ALONE be involved with it. I had some hit VERY close to home very recently and that was the final straw. Three others and myself were accused of a burglary in another state, only for two of us (Me included) to be proven innocent by a confession by the guilty party. All this over drama.
So, like I said, and unlike some people, I am TRYING to grow up and get this behind me. Will it happen overnight? lolno. And I can accept that, because that's the bed I made and now I have to lay in it. Will it be comfy? Nope, but i'll deal with it and move on, where others are remaining stagnant and have to go to great lengths to satisfy the same urges and cravings for drama I once had.
So, i'm going to go to work, go back to college, move and get my own apartment, and so on. It ruined several good things I have, and now I have to do this alone. Which is how I need to be, since i'm not ready to take care of someone else, let alone take care of myself just yet.
I'm ready to grow up, move on, and life my life how I want. I can finally live my life knowing I don't have to justify myself or my actions any longer just because I have dirt on this person, or dirt on that guy who really did nothing wrong.
If there's any advice to be taken from this, it's this:
Get out while you still can. Stop digging yourself deeper and lying to justify yourself. It won't work. I PROMISE you, it won't.
Thank you, i'm gonna go to work now.
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12 years, 10 months ago
19 Jun 2011 20:59 CEST
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