So..since around august, I have been having anxiety problems and stuff....then my dizziness came back, last time it lasted 6 months long....now i have to drop out of college because of my illness, and im so crushed over it. I feel like I want to commit suicide, it's on my mind constantly. I feel like giving up.. I just...there is no hope for me. Because I am so fucked up...I can't do anything. I am stuck sitting in a corner, alone. I have no one. I don't want to die but I think i would be better off dead. I dunno..I'm so tired of fighting, I have been fighting for almost 10 years with depression, anxiety, fear and panic. I'm scared i might hurt myself...im scared to be alone. I wish i could go back in time and force myself to not be born, to be destroyed. Who puts someone on this planet, and watches them suffer? What kind of sick, sadistic, twisted person does this? All my life all i have ever done is SUFFERED...and even though I'm not even 20 i want to give up because I'm so tired of this. I'm so tired of fighting. Why do i exist? What is my purpose? Why the fuck am i like this? WHY was I born like this?! I want to know so bad, but I feel like I'm yelling and no one can hear me.
4 years, 11 months ago
15 Sep 2013 00:01 CEST