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stalker diaries - entry #Σσ
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IamRy
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A MAN IS NOTHING MORE THAN WHAT OTHERS CLAIM HE IS

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by IamRy
ᛞ • "EPIPHANY/BREAKTHROUGH"
Last in pool
"lion-haired boy [DEMO]" - CAPRA KID
Last in pool
geeze, if that statement is true, I might as well just find the prettiest, tallest bridge, and just take that leap, right?

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Type: Picture/Pinup
Published: 6 days, 21 hrs ago
Rating: General

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IamRy
6 days, 21 hrs ago
I'm just sick of the voices. All they tell me is how little I deserve to keep breathing and I really like breathing, I really do. Please, can't I keep breathing? Is that ok with you?
TheAtomicDog
6 days, 20 hrs ago
Ignore such poor advice. Rebuke them. Beelzebubs can be such annoying pests at times!
IamRy
6 days, 19 hrs ago
the fuck is a beezlebub? are we living in the same dimension? e.e I was talking about literal voices in my head.
TheAtomicDog
6 days, 19 hrs ago
Remember the line from the rhapsodic part of Bohemian Rhapsody?
"Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me!"
Beelzebub(s) are your personal demons. Those awful little nagging voices that refuse to leave you alone and make your quiet time miserable. And don't we all have them! I have made mine learn to dread our times together.
Do your Beelzebubs invade your dreams? You can really get your hands on them, then!
...
I am not joking, here.
IamRy
6 days, 9 hrs ago
It sounds to me like you're still dancing with a demon that I've long since exorcised from myself.

Is my psychotic panic disorder a joke to you?
TheAtomicDog
6 days, 7 hrs ago
I don't see why it should be.
At the same time, what enemy is there that is true un-vanquishable?
DennatonEnterprises
6 days, 14 hrs ago
*hugs*
IamRy
6 days, 9 hrs ago
I didn't hear a yes.
DennatonEnterprises
6 days, 9 hrs ago
I want you to keep breathing yes
IamRy
6 days, 9 hrs ago
ok :>
TheAtomicDog
6 days, 20 hrs ago
While I myself would take most of those scrawls as compliment, I do see why some would not.
IamRy
6 days, 19 hrs ago
oh I love myself at this point, I'm just sick of being alone because of what people perceive as a lack of control over my actions. (in reality, I'm more in-control of myself than they could ever dream to be.)
TheAtomicDog
6 days, 19 hrs ago
I also run a deficit of social graces. And yes as well, my public performances could be so much worse if I weren't as self-aware as I am.
AspenAlabaster
6 days, 19 hrs ago
For anyone who is worried about what people think of them, just check me out and you'll see that I'm a lot worse but I'm proud of that.
IamRy
6 days, 19 hrs ago
It's not that I'm worried about what people think of me. I KNOW what people think of me. They make a point to tell me, after all. I'm just sick of it. Nobody sees things like I do, and it gets lonely in here.
AspenAlabaster
6 days, 19 hrs ago
Is knot often people make a point to tell me what they think of me unless is something good but when it's something bad, it's usually just a troll.  It really does get lonely, perhaps we could cuddle and make it less lonely.
IamRy
6 days, 19 hrs ago
it takes a lot more than a single nice comment to earn my trust. the last of my closest friends made sure that I'll never so easily trust another soul until I leave this earth.
AspenAlabaster
6 days, 19 hrs ago
I don't trust a ton of people ether, I mainly only trust animals and my plushies.  I hope those friends of yours is real life friends.
IamRy
6 days, 9 hrs ago
I was referring to someone who abandoned me as a friend. He acts like we were never friends, now, and even tells his followers that I'm a "stalker" 8)
AspenAlabaster
6 days ago
Every time I ever thought I had a friend, they would just abandon me or act like friends for the first meet until finding out they don't like me so they don't even say goodbye.  Now I don't let anyone who hasn't met me in person call me a friend and won't even consider someone I met to be a friend until I've met them a lot and know they like me.

No one cares at all anymore, all they think about is their own feelings and would rather just leave you and not give a reason then to properly say goodbye so no one gets hurt.

Today my friends are my plushies and the only other friends I really want are feral animals and don't have any hopes of actually meeting a hooman who can be a friend besides the two I know who don't have much in common with me but seem to be the two of the last good people in the world and all others are somewhere far away.

I hope you find a good friend soon who won't do anything like that to you so you can forget about everyone else but after my experiences, I don't really keep my hopes up.
DiorDiorDior
3 days, 7 hrs ago
Hey man I just want to warn you the guy you're talking to licks up rotting animal corpses, its probably not a good idea to befriend him
IamRy
3 days, 5 hrs ago
It takes far more than a few comments on my drawing to befriend me.
Legosi
5 days, 19 hrs ago
I don't think you're any of those things. Granted I don't know you too well, but I'm sure the people saying these things don't either. I wouldn't say you're nothing without others, but I think it's a mix of it. The "you" that exists in the hearts of others and the "you" inside yourself.
IamRy
5 days, 11 hrs ago
The title is actually a Protest The Hero lyric! It's the hook from the song "Yellow Teeth"
" Protest The Hero - Yellow Teeth wrote:
A man is nothing more than what others claim he is
So speak clear and ill of me (and so it will be)
The grating sound of my voice. The yellowing of my teeth
Speak up. Speak clear. Speak ill of me
Speak up. Speak clear. Speak ill of me

Anyway, all I know about myself is that, while I'm a little nuts, I don't have it in me to get violent or dangerous, even in the midst of a psychotic break, or when I'm severely under the influence of various hallucinogens. Run-on sentences. I find it funny that people used to be so much more willing to say nice things about me back when I hated myself. Now that I've found a level of acceptance, people seem to want to imply that I should go back to hating myself.

Remember, kids! Nothing matters, and nothing makes sense! Nothing is real, and we're all going to die! :D
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