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dmfalk
dmfalk's Gallery (165)

[Short story - humour] Croutons...

[Short story] Nutty
croutons.rtf
Keywords male 632585, fox 134238, wolf 110691, squirrel 15396, hare 4191, red fox 3824, humor 2714, gray fox 532, grey fox 302, humour 273
Croutons...
by Dennis M. Falk
4 July 2011
Issued under a Creative Commons license BY-NC-SA (any version)


Three old hands were hanging out at the livery, across the dusty street from the local tavern. With them was a young merchant, just in from the Capital.

As the young merchant, a grey fox, tied up his horse and hung up the saddle, one of the old hands, a careworn red fox, simply blurted out, "That tavern there's got the biggest croutons in the Kingdom."

"Oh? You don't say," said the merchant. "What, they're 2 or 3 inches on a side?"

"Bigger," said the second old hand, an overweight squirrel who has seen better days.

"Oh, they can't be too big, not for soups and salads," retorted the merchant fox.

"Look for yourself- Someone's coming out with one now!", so said the third old hand, an underweight, but clearly hard-working white hare.

"Huh?", said the young merchant, as he turned his gaze at the tavern's doorway.

Out came a rather burly grey wolf, with what looked like a large parcel on his back- No, it was a single large crouton, looking almost twice the size of the wolf.

"Oh, my G---," exclaimed the young grey fox, dropping his own luggage to the hay-covered floor in total amazement.

"Yep," said the old red fox, "and you should see the loaf o' bread that baby's carved from!"

- - - -

Just some crazy idea while I was eating a Caesar salad for dinner... :)

d.m.f.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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by dmfalk
[Story] Facing a New Day
[Story] Márta's Song
[Story] Facing a New Day
[Story] The Most Frustrating Game Ever!
Just something silly as I was eating a bowl of Ceasar salad for dinner... :)

(Previously posted as a journal on 4 July 2011.)

d.m.f.

Keywords
male 632,585, fox 134,238, wolf 110,691, squirrel 15,396, hare 4,191, red fox 3,824, humor 2,714, gray fox 532, grey fox 302, humour 273
Details
Type: Writing - Document
Published: 7 years, 3 months ago
Rating: General

MD5 Hash for Page 1... Show Find Identical Posts [?]
Stats
63 views
2 favorites
9 comments

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MarcoWolf
7 years, 3 months ago
hhahahahaha
dmfalk
7 years, 3 months ago
I aim for giggles and guffaws... ;)

Glad you like. :)

d.m.f.
CyberCornEntropic
7 years, 3 months ago
Hail Caesar!  Paul Bunyan demands his croutons!  Give him a great big hand or three! :p
dmfalk
7 years, 3 months ago
Hail Caesar Cardini, the Italian-Mexican who is credited with inventing the Caesar salad! My favourite salad. :)

(I happen to be 45 miles south of the tallest/largest papier-mache' statue in the world-- of Paul Bunyan with Babe, his blue ox... :) It's about 60ft. tall. :) One of the above croutons should be about right... ;) )

d.m.f.
CyberCornEntropic
7 years, 3 months ago
Hunh, will wonders never Caesar. :p I didn't know that about the salad.  Thanks. :)

There's a 36-foot-high copper statue of a kneeling woman called  on the Portland Building in the Oregon city (which is about 1½ to 2 hours' drive north of me).  Her name is Portlandia and the Statue of Liberty is the only hammered copper statue in the US that's bigger than her.  Were she standing, she'd be 50 feet tall.  Maybe she's not a Bunyan, but she ought to find the above croutons about right, too.

As for Portland's own Paul Bunyan, eh.  He's only 35 feet tall.  Kind of dinky compared to yours. :p
Winterimage
7 years, 3 months ago
If your salad bowl is a swimming pool, that sounds about right. You could replace the anchovies with tuna. The dressing would have to be at least 2500 islands.
AndyBanez
6 years, 4 months ago
that is some of teh craziest adn silliest and most genial humour-based lil stoires ina while! im rotfling shamelessly! XDXDDDDD
dmfalk
6 years, 4 months ago
Thank you! I love writing humour. :)

d.m.f.
FuzzFace
1 year, 10 months ago
Haha! This made me smile. I like to smile.
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