You know, there are more days in my life that I have drawn than days in which I have not, it is a major part of who I am and who I have always been for as far back and further than I can remember. This immediately makes it seem like it is something I must truly love, but the truth of the matter is I hate it. Or at least I hate parts of it.
I can never express properly what it is I have envisioned in my head, I am rarely happy with how anything turns out, and the process of it all can often times seem extremely tedious. I am not a fan at all of inking, yet it is something that must be done, even though it feels to me like it ruins the quality of an image (even though in ways it also improves it.) I am colorblind so coloring has always been a rather treacherous task as well. And I can't seem to get the handle on drawing on the computer which is something I really wish I could do.
The part I love about drawing though is seeing stuff that I imagine in my head materialize in the world for others to see on paper, even if it isn't perfect. It is expression, it is freedom, and it is a world where the laws of society can be broken without any legal recourse (though obviously I still can't just go around showing everything I do to everyone because people can still react negatively of course.)
So to try and keep this as short as I can while still getting my point across, I both love and hate drawing, but it is something which is a fundamental part of who I am so it is something that I never expect to stop doing, regardless of how I feel about it. But that doesn't stop me from hitting bouts of depression directly related to how my artwork is turning out.
5 years, 9 months ago
24 Mar 2013 11:28 CET