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My love and hatred of drawing!

You know, there are more days in my life that I have drawn than days in which I have not, it is a major part of who I am and who I have always been for as far back and further than I can remember. This immediately makes it seem like it is something I must truly love, but the truth of the matter is I hate it. Or at least I hate parts of it.

I can never express properly what it is I have envisioned in my head, I am rarely happy with how anything turns out, and the process of it all can often times seem extremely tedious. I am not a fan at all of inking, yet it is something that must be done, even though it feels to me like it ruins the quality of an image (even though in ways it also improves it.) I am colorblind so coloring has always been a rather treacherous task as well. And I can't seem to get the handle on drawing on the computer which is something I really wish I could do.

The part I love about drawing though is seeing stuff that I imagine in my head materialize in the world for others to see on paper, even if it isn't perfect. It is expression, it is freedom, and it is a world where the laws of society can be broken without any legal recourse (though obviously I still can't just go around showing everything I do to everyone because people can still react negatively of course.)

So to try and keep this as short as I can while still getting my point across, I both love and hate drawing, but it is something which is a fundamental part of who I am so it is something that I never expect to stop doing, regardless of how I feel about it. But that doesn't stop me from hitting bouts of depression directly related to how my artwork is turning out.
Viewed: 8 times
Added: 6 years, 4 months ago
6 years, 4 months ago
Keep in there. I am truely dreadful at drawing even after trying for decades. Its he same with my hand writing, I seem to have reached the fundamental limits of my hand eye coordination, and they are pretty low. Having a glitch in the brain, motion translation function doesnt help.

For colour blindness, the only thing I can even think of is to use the numerical relationship of colours on a computer to literally paint by numbers. That is, Im sure there is a Pantone or Hex show option in some paint packages that display the computer value for a colour when eyedropper or otherwise hovering or selecting a given point. You could then make a given pallette using these values, so instead of having to rememebr the actual colour, you could say, face, upper, light shade etc? or grass, singed, full sun?

The representation of something is an agreement between two or more people. therefore, just use what you are comfortable with for replicating works you wish to do your best to create. After all, you are then doing far more than most other people. 8}
6 years, 4 months ago
Yeah it just seems translating thoughts into images is a complicated process...

As far as coloring goes, I have done a lot more recently than I ever did before because I have started using a computer (which allows me to use an eye dropper tool on actual images), but unfortunately the only way I have discovered that really works for coloring my drawings is to first ink them, then scan them, then use a threshold tool to turn them into flat black and white (no intermediary gray or brown tones like the raw scan would have) and then use a fill bucket on them. While this works, it ultimately makes the drawings look a bit rough, even after being scaled down (which definitely helps the look). I don't know if that made any sense or not...

Anyway, thank you for your words of confidence.
6 years, 4 months ago
is my latest effort to translate thoughts into images.
As you can see, I suck at it bigtime. I'm a engineer, damnitt, not an artist.

I'm looking forward to
' art improvement challenges. Something like that should give structure to the practice I definitely need. https://inkbunny.net/journalview.php?id=75562

I'm not sure how helpful it'll be to you - you *already* practice a ton of the time, after all. But maybe?
6 years, 4 months ago
Well you've only really drawn a sketch, just keep whittling away at the image and eventually it will look at least more like what you have in your description. You've got the foundation ready, you just need to forge past that step. Although I do understand the frustration of making that step. Is it safe to assume you drew that using a mouse? Doing so is notorious for being insanely difficult.
6 years, 3 months ago
Yeah - and I was trying to show the layout, so I showed important parts out of proportion.
But... yeah. I can draw *slightly* better than that... but not much.
With time, I think I can get to the point where people won't gouge out their eyes from looking at my stuff, but I'm not sure I'll ever get the assured confidence of, say, your art. We'll see :)
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