I forgot i was a streamer. That's why I was going insane.
Updates. Reports. Got lost in some stuff.
This isn't real. No metaphor. I come from another world. Legitimately. Sometimes that leads to misunderstandings.
Right now, we're listening to "Shaken by a Low Sound."
now, here's the thing. i've gotten into like, Zen and stuff, it was a hell of a ride. so sometimes it'll just come up. Apologies in advance. I'm so glad i get to be here. sometimes i get upset that things aren't going my way. I'm sure you understand, because we're supposed to be similar, right? otherwise we couldn't communicate. don't think about it. it doesn't go anywhere.
The song "Ecstasy" came on. Going to just take that intro and say some thiings over it. just going to leave that. Sometimes i get so involved playing a character that i lose myself in it. We just keep having so much fun.
I have a tulpa. That's what I mean by 'we'. I'm not alone. sometimes i pretend to be, but that isn't what i see how others interact with me. started rapping again, do that shit sometimes unconsciously. Can't prove it. Goodness. I'm got more than just a tulpa, i can't really explain all about myself because then I couldn't do what we're here' No red line. nice. to do.
I've got memory problems and there's no real way to test for that aside from just memorization, but the facts change, or i'm insane or forgetful. I'd rather be a quirky Artist. sometimes those close to me ignore me because they think i'm someone else and that hurts so very very very very very much.
It's part of it. Learning to have emotions. Lizardfolk are real. They live in fear. we should take care of them. i can do more by doing my thing. instead of one, many. In this instance the redlines indicate the term "lizardfolk" is not recognized. "redlines" is not, somehow. It could be a matter of recognition.
And back. That's what I'm on about. I was raised by Television. I thought it was real. children thought I was smart because I spent time with my parents, and watched a lot of the things they watched, listened to what they listened to. We were treated well. a little too well. such a spoiled thing.
i've got a buddy that is coming to understand that is what he's missing from his life. I am totally not talking about myself, but if anyonoe reads any Freud (NICE) just stumble right in sometimes. ding ding. fall right on in, that's the creeping paranoia. a condition for myself is that i must not learn to code, but i feel if I keep interacting this way, I'll do it. If i keep interacting, I'll learn by doing it. so we're going to try to be as mute as possible. Various "me"s are hanging back. sometimes one gets excited. I am addicted to that excitement. it is symbiosis. Not a metaphor. Been tossing around the term 'meataphore'. Language as we've been experience isn't effective. and i just spent who knows how long doing the thing i remembered to do but thought i had to do something, chased it down and it turns out i didn't need to. This is a behavior I see in others. I try to be hands off, but the mere fact that I exist seems to make me _-=+ sorry interfacing issues. it is kind of like a hiccup. just leaving it. If i spend time editing everything, I won't get anything done, but I'm pretty good at it.
oh. sometimes I link things. picked that up from a buddy. Really i'm just experimenting on how I interface. I really like something i cannot describe about this format. I keep trying to use words and realize i don't know the word for various things. Maybe I should learn more words. I've taken a lot of drugs, but everyone sometimes forgets a word or two if they don't really use it, right? My sense of "Normal" is skewed because I was sucked into the TV. The internet is brutal.
I like making pictures, but it takes so long. I like making music, but it takes so long and "my" music is reserved for use by others. it is an agreement. I like writing, but that takes very long. Living is cool. You might like it. Time for a wizard stick [read: cigarette, fag 0wN~] and i've got to work on my other interfacing.
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Edit. Changed a link because I did it "wrong". still applicable, but not the intent. Can't undo what was but can try to interface better, little at a time. it isn't a rejection.
