Just an expression of some thoughts I've had lately in regards to a beloved piece of media. I did this in between stuff at my job so it's not very organized or elaborate. Enjoy.
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Ever since it premiered in 1999, Digimon has remained close to my heart. It's something I can always rely on to bring me a sense of comfort and joy. I was obsessed right from the start and the fervor I feel for those little guys hasn't waned after all this time. Despite its modern resurgence and popularity in the furry art community, I've still come across a surprising amount of people that still haven't seen it. I've been doing my part to share my love of Digimon with my friends by watching it with them.
On what is likely at least my 8th or 9th rewatch of Digimon Tamers, I've lost count by now, I'm just as moved by it now as I was when I watched it years ago. In some ways, I'm able to appreciate and feel things more now. I'm no stranger to crying during the heavy parts of Digimon, but this time has messed me up in a way I didn't expect. One character in particular I find myself resonating with more as an adult than I did as a child. Rather than obvious choices like the introspective Renamon struggling to define her relationship with her partner, or the ever-imaginative Takato, the one that has stood out to me the most this watch is Kato Juri (Jerry if you watched the dub).
When we first meet Juri, she presents as little more than a background character. She fills out the cast of Takato's classmates and makes this representation of Shinjuku feel that much more fleshed out. Juri is just the weird girl who talks with a hand puppet dog and goes out of her way to be friendly towards the main character, who has a bit of a crush on her from the moment we enter the picture. Despite her amicable interactions with Takato, she remains somewhat dismissive of Digimon as that nerdy thing the boys are into.
It isn't until meeting Guilmon that she becomes interested in Digimon, prompting her to go out and buy cards so she can learn how to be a Digimon tamer as well. She sees that Digimon are more than just a violent masculine hobby, that Guilmon is a cute and sweet companion to Takato. From that experience on, she latches onto the idea of having a partner of her own. She tries to force a partnership with Culumon and then Leomon, the latter of which does turn out to be her real partner after much hesitation and resistance. This exchange reads as pretty silly and innocent at first glance, but starts to make more sense as we get the full context of Juri's background.
We start to get more of the bigger picture when the adventure shifts to the Digital World. Avoiding THAT scene for now, we get bits and pieces of Juri's home life. As Takato tries to comfort her in the wake of tragedy, she brings up her mother's death and how she "isn't nice" because she stopped crying over her mother shortly afterward. She plays it off as though this didn't affect her much, but we're shown later on that this was a truly traumatic event for her.
This ties directly into what we find out about Juri's father when the tamers take the Ark back to the real world. He callously tells the Wild Bunch that he isn't going to pick her up from Shinjuku because she got into that mess by herself and she can find her own way home. When Takato brings her to him, rather than any shred of relief to see his daughter alive and well after weeks of being stranded in another world, Juri's father is resentful that she caused so much trouble for him and angrily pulls her by the arm into the taxi.
The loss of Juri's mother affected them both greatly, but her father did not handle it well. He carries that burden with him even after finding someone new. However unjustified, he associates the pain of that loss with Juri and completely fails to support her emotionally. Every time we see them interact, he is cold and harsh towards her. She loses her mother and immediately finds herself in a world devoid of warmth.
This revelation comes as quite a shock considering the person presented to us before this is so immensely strong in spirit. She always has a smile and is never anything but kind and gentle, the last person you'd expect to carry all this pain inside. Faced with all this adversity, she was still able to move on with her life and project an aura of positivity. Although she apologizes to Leomon for not being strong like the others, it's clearly misguided because the strength of her heart is undeniable.
Her attachment to Leomon is sudden and borderline creepy. She holds fast onto the idea of having a Digimon partner and refuses to let that dream slip between her fingers. Her fervor towards finding a partner goes beyond even Hirokazu and Kenta, who both have strong attachments to Digimon as a whole than she does. This can easily be written off as one of her many quirks, but I interpret this as falling in line with everything else we know about her. After making the best of a hard life for years, she finally sees a light at the end of the tunnel, a future where she can fully overcome the hardship. Juri blindly puts so much faith and hope into Leomon because it's something her life desperately needs.
When Beelzebumon comes to enact his half of his Faustian bargain, Leomon meets his untimely demise valiantly protecting the others. It is not the first time in the series we see a Digimon partner die, but as Beelzemon loads Leomon's data and prevents the cycle of rebirth, we know that Leomon is gone forever. Juri's despair through this scene is palpable as she screams and pleads with everyone to stop the fighting. Takato is consumed with murderous vengeance towards Beelzebumon for killing Leomon, and perhaps rightfully so, but Juri knows that it won't make her feel any better and she just doesn't want anyone else to die.
Juri essentially shuts down and becomes near catatonic witnessing this, standing in the thick of the battle without regard to her own safety. As the others try to usher her out of harm's way, she snaps at them, telling them not to touch her. From this moment on, the Juri we knew previously all but ceases to exist. She goes silent and completely uncaring of the world around her. Her apathy is what allows the piece of the D-Reaper to hitch a ride.
Leomon was more than just her Digimon and her friend. He represented a future where the wrongs of the past are righted, an end to the emotional starvation she suffered for years at home. He gave her the courage to flourish. She never wanted a Digimon to fight for her, she just wanted someone to care about her again. What at first appeared as her shining salvation turned into a reaffirmation of her deepest, darkest fears.
He often brought up fate and how it was theirs to become partners, but this was soured by his departure and took on a new meaning. Juri internalized this fateful encounter as meaning that her destiny was to be alone. It was the universe sending her the clear message that this suffering was a fate she couldn't escape from. And this completely broke her inside.
When I was a kid watching this for the first time, the darkness of it all wasn't completely lost on me. I was also a lonely kid from a broken home without any friends, that's a big reason why I gravitated towards Digimon after all, but the depths of Juri's despair wasn't clear to me until I had the perspective to see the bigger picture. I feel like I completely understand where she's coming from now, and my eyes well up whenever I think about it.
Juri gets put through so much almost to the point of being a sacrificial lamb for the sake of the plot, yet it drives home the unapologetic horror of Digimon Tamers. Although she is undoubtedly a good person that deserved none of the bad things that happened to her, after the conflict with the D-Reaper is resolved, she doesn't get a happy ending. She does get to survive the ordeal and go home to a hopefully now more understanding father. And yes, the others also have to say goodbye to their Digimon partners.
At the end of the day, though, there was no satisfying resolution to her journey. Unlike Digimon Adventure, which can sometimes be too rigid in its adherence to an almost fairy tale like standard of good vibes, Digimon Tamers cared nothing for preserving that sense of security.
Juri is left, once again, to put on a brave smile and forge ahead in spite of her pain and the darkness in the world. While this entirely unjust outcome for this character brings me to tears, it's also perfectly fitting and I wouldn't have it any other way. It's not beautiful or satisfying, but it's real. In real life, fairy tale endings are few and far between, and many of us have to shoulder the burden of our pain alone for the sake of being able to move forward. For that, I will always see a kindred spirit in Kato-san.
