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Whippy

repost - some very relevant advice for talking to artists...

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I don't usually repost things verbatim, but today it's very relevant because I think I lost a friend over being too quiet or not responding in time today.  The text below is taken from here: http://moonkistforlife.tumblr.com/post/28330899223/but...

" SO YOU WANNA TALK TO A FANDOM FAMOUS PERSON?

SITUATION: A fan of something you like has created or is currently creating a fanwork that is wildly popular HUZZAH!

DILEMMA: Except, now they're swarmed with attention and popularity (that they probably did not ask for or expect) and you don't know how to climb up the (Eche)ladder to get noticed by them as a devoted follower, thankful fan, or simply a good person trying to befriend them.

SOLUTION: Well, that's the hard part, Everyone's different. Not all approaches will by the same.



But here are some key things we all should remember:

Do not idol-worship or hold this person on a pedestal too high to reach! Yes, this person made something wonderful. No, this person should not be completely off-limits to talk with on a personal or professional level just because of their accomplishments.

Do not overwhelm or drown them in extreme praise, flattery, or signs of admiration. Drowning anyone in a sea of worship is just scary. It can overwhelm the famed fellow in a bad way. If they’re an introvert, or didn’t expect as much attention as they’ve got for their work, this goes double, and you could scare them off! Letting someone know you enjoy their stuff and love their talent is great, but don’t overdo it.

Do not make it a competition between other fans of this fandom famous person. People are not prizes to be won. You do not OWN a friend, no matter their social status. Let them have other friends, and introduce them to new ones if they consent to it!

Make sure you are befriending them for the right reasons! Many people are under the misguided impression that when they make a new friend who has a special talent for something (art in particular), they are entitled to get gifts and request things all the time. Friends are made for emotional gain, not material.

Remember that they have lives outside of fandom, responding to messages, and keeping in touch. Just because they don’t respond to your ask within a day or two doesn’t mean they hate you! (Okay, well, try Fanmail or something first, because Tumblr’s ask system is shit and I can’t promise they’ve just not gotten your message.) And just because they take more than a few minutes to reply to your Skype/AIM/Steam/etc. message doesn’t mean they don’t want to talk to you. They have other stuff to do! You have multiple people to hang with, so do they.

Keeping that above rule of thumb in mind, don’t be overtly timid or shy, to the point where the person in question is made uncomfortable. Don’t assume you’re being annoying or a bother. Most of the time, this person will be able to sense that you’re scared of them and will not want to make you uncomfortable any further, so they’ll back off until you give a signal that you’re reaching out for them again. You’ll think they don’t like you because they’re backing off, and the cycle repeats. It’s vicious! Just be open, polite, and honest, and you’ll be fine.

BUT ABOVE ALL, THIS PERSON IS A HUMAN BEING MADE OF FLESH, BLOOD, ANXIETY AND INSECURITY, JUST LIKE YOU. SO JUST COOL YOUR JETS AND SPEAK UP!
Viewed: 96 times
Added: 6 years ago
 
Thanatos
6 years ago
<3
thecapedmanlloyd
6 years ago
Thanks for this post. You hit the head on every nail here.
Whippy
6 years ago
You're welcome ^.^ Wasn't my doing though, it's just copy pasted from tumblr. But oh my god did it ring true for me atm.
thecapedmanlloyd
6 years ago
Same here. I'm just a person who draws. I don't demand to be treated like a God. Just respect me and others as you'll like to be respected and I'm a very approachable person.

I like making friends and getting to know them. The one thing I keep telling people is because someone draws art for you, it does not make them your friend.
kenji321
6 years ago
True
Y PEOPLE NO GET THIS!!!?!?!
AltheAlbinoFox
6 years ago
Much as I can't recall ever being unaware of any of these, it's not that I don't struggle with them; the last point (on timidity), and corresponding aspects of the first point, I have a history of trouble with. That's one of the covert reasons I get much good out of checking so many artist-watching streams, as is so helpfully assisted by Inkbunny. I get to watch not just the process of art, but people being artists, being alive and, usually, interactable. The fact that there's a spirit of friendly fuzzy furries to it helps that.

But seriously – “Don’t assume you’re being annoying or a bother.” I've had that problem with at least one non-artist friend of mine, so it kinda goes double for artists (but also with the non-artist friend I'm greatly attracted to…). I'm just glad I'm getting over it. Slowly.

Casual chat interfaces help, for me. It's still a bigger hurdle when I'm posting wide-open publically like this, and oddly, only mildly less so when shooting an oh-so-direct PM or E-Mail. I'm entirely too non-confrontational in general, and need to shake much of my shyness. There's still a small pile of comments I almost posted on IB, then backed away from just because I wasn't quite sure I'd said it right.
Carrot
6 years ago
Yeah, I don't know why people just don't act like themselves online.

Friend-making online/real life is basically the same - except online has all these conveniences and we can meet people at quite a distance. In fact, it's a lot easier to approach someone online, since we maintain our anonymity. So I always wondered why people view themselves as "lesser" than some of their favorite artists. Like, to the point where they won't make any effort to communicate because they think they'll be shot down.

I've been doing a large amount of networking with some popufurs/industry artists recently - and they're all just really nice people in the end. But to me - the biggest tip would be to be engaging.

This is just regarding life in general. No one wants extra dead weight. You can be a praise machine, and that's just uh - I dunno, it's nice at first, but you don't GET anything out of it. It's kinda the difference between some friends and that-one-special-BEST-friend, ya know? You have to want to be interested in this person, and engage in an actual conversation. Small-talk only goes so far.
fluffdance
6 years ago
tl;dr:  Don't be a douche, and treat people like people.  ;-)
SenGrisane
6 years ago
Yar. Seems very fitting.
DaddyDuckyBE
6 years ago
I know that as a fan, I struggle with #2, and also some with #6. Both in the furry fandom, and over on Papersera.net, where we fans can talk to Don Rosa.
Zeromaru
6 years ago
Don’t assume you’re being annoying or a bother
unfortunately for me
i always assume that i'm being annoying or a bother when talking to someone
not just artists or famous people
when talking to anyone, even family members

i am even thinking that right now
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