A Quick Note:
I am a high-functioning Autistic (Asperger’s Syndrom), and was undiagnosed growing up. As such, I was not barred from military service, and after two consecutive tours in the Middle East I have returned with combat-related complex-PTSD. I have a service dog who helps me deal with my issues stemming from both of these things, and a very supportive chosen family. Due to my unique brain wiring and medical issues, I have a tendancy to be over-talkative on subjects I have been or am obsessed with and I regularly fail to read or misread social cues which ends up making things awkward.
How I Identify on the Human Sexuality Spectrum:
After much thought and consideration, I chose to come out the day before San Antonio Pride 2018 as bi-gender (both male & female). For now I am still identifying as demi-sexual, pan-everything else, however that may change over time as I work through things. I am no longer attempting to distance myself from anything female, and am accepting myself as I am. With this in mind, I have chosen to shave my beard, and attempt to present myself in a more androgynous fashion. I see myself as both male and female, equally, and at the same time. I think a more androgynous look befits how I feel inside, and I hope over time to accomplish this with ever increasing success.
Like many, I grew up in a household where I was not allowed to question my gender or sexual orientation. When I tried to question these things I was quickly instilled with such a fear of these thoughts to the extent that I actually feared abandonment by my family if I entertained these thoughts any further.
A few years ago I began to re-examin how I felt about my sexuality, and came to calling myself demi-sexual, pan-everything else because I felt safe with this lable. While I may still feel this way, in light of my recent processing of some very strong feelings and emotions regarding my gender identity I am now revisiting my evaluation of my sexual orientation as well. It is unlikely this will change, however I feel it requires some re-evaluation.
I also identify as polyamerous. I do have a girlfriend, and I do (and I will continue to) share all information with her regarding any new relationship I become involved in. She is currently overseas, so meetings with her will (for the time being) be done over Skype. My girlfriend and I both believe that it is possible, and indeed healthy, to love, and be in a loving relationship with multiple people.
How I Identify Within the BDSM/Kink Community:
I identify primarily as a dominant, sadist, and leatherman. I am into heavy BDSM including flogging, caning, bondage, knife-play, fisting, forced orgasm, medical play, sounding, and electro-play.
Other interests of mine include toys (dildos, butt plugs, vibrators, and the like) and anything primal-related.
I am also very into nursing (breastfeeding), which I have found to help me deal with my PTSD and social anxiety problems. Oxytocin (which is found in breastmilk, and has been tested and found to help those on the Autism spectrum as well as those suffering from PTSD) is a wonderful biochemical and it has helped me find a way to be more myself again. It has helped me bond with people easier, and form friendships that I never would have had otherwise.
I have formed a very close relationship with my new (second) girlfriend, which started out as a friendship and grew to much more through our adult nursing relationship. I am now exploring the world of “Littles” with her, with me as a “middle” and with her as my “mommy”. I am finding the calm, nurturing relationship with her to be quite enjoyable, and cathartic.
Another strong interest of mine is naturism. I “discovered” naturism when I was about 12 while skinny dipping in the creek on my grandparent’s farm, and I have loved it ever since. When I was about 20 I visited Riverside Ranch (south of San Antonio) for the first time and joined the ranks of the social nudist community. I also enjoy visiting Hippie Hollow (MacGreggor State Park, near Austin).
I also consider myself to be a furry, and I am very proud to have my first furry costume which is a satyr costume. It is only a half-fursuit, but it is something I was very happy to have made (a good friend did most of the hard work on it) and I intend to wear it whenever I can find an appropriate venue.
About Who I Am:
I am a generally laid-back individual, who prefers compromise and a peaceful solution to fighting. That doesn’t mean I avoid a fight if it is necessary, but I find most conflicts can be resolved without things getting out of hand.
I am an introvert, and I prefer calm and quiet most of the time. I consider my home to be my sanctuary. It is where I find my zen and recover the energy spent dealing with society while away from home. This doesn’t mean I am anti-social, though at times my PTSD will cause me to come across that way. In reality, I enjoy the company of others provided I have a regular opportunity to find peace and quiet and “recharge”.
My personal core values are honesty, integrity, and loyalty. These things drive everything I do. My entire worldview is based on these. Sometimes I’m a bit less than tactful when I’m honest, and that is rarely intentional. I will always take responsibility for my actions, even if the consequences are negative; in my opinion, that’s just part of being an adult. While it generally takes some time to earn my trust and loyalty, once earned rarely if ever is it rescinded. I have been called loyal to a fault, and I feel that there are worse ways to be described.
This is only a brief overview of me, and like any other human being on the planet I’m rather complicated (especially the more you get to know me). I am a generally friendly person, and if you’d like to know more about me please feel free to send me a message, or to introduce yourself at an event.
