I want to tell you a story, a story about me. I want to explain to you why you're like me. See, some people would say I'm crazy, that I must be committed for loving you as much as I do. The truth is, when I think about it, you're the only thing that seems real to me in this world. But why, must I ask, does everything else seem fake? I think it has a lot to do with having that little thing called faith. Even though you're not born yet, that you only exist in my stories, in my mind, you give me purpose to find that faith. After all this time, I think I have.
You're the only thing missing in my life, so much so that I wish you were real everyday. I'd love to sit you down and show you how much you meant to me before you came into this world. For some odd reason, I might not have to try as hard as others. I feel you inside me. I know you want to exist, and I know, quite strangely, how much you're like me. I want to tell you son, because no one else will listen, nor will they understand – you are the light of my life, my knight, my king, and you at least deserve this much.
I am a very sensitive man beneath my hard exterior. Sometimes I cry myself to sleep at night, wishing that you were sleeping right next to me. Whenever I see something bad happen to a child, I can only see your face. On one end it's torture, but on the other it helps me understand how important it is for me to protect you – as a father is supposed to do for his son. I get a little embarrassed when I mention that I'm a mush, that I like cute things, but also when I tell people how much you mean to me. I guess that's why you have such a cute foxy face. When I look into your eyes, I see a story. I see you. I see me. I see the father I want to be. I only hope I can be the father that you would expect me to be.
Hear me son. I lost my faith a long time ago. You have helped me find that again. I'm not completely happy yet, but happy enough knowing you're there. The only problem I have now is yearning for you – to get up the gumption and propose to a woman who will accept this part of me, of you and I. One day when that happens, I hope my one and only wish – for you – will come true. And then you can shine your hallowed light on this lonely young man hardened by darkness.
Love you always and forever, Azzy. :)
6 years, 9 months ago
21 Jan 2012 02:32 CET