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I feel confused right now. Nothing feels real and nothing seems to matter. I don't know why I'm here..
I think I might need a break from staying online so much. It feels like throwing my life away. People aren't real, I don't matter, and apparently real life takes place inbetween all this. I hate my life right now, a lot...and trying not to hate myself along with it. I don't know how to get along with anyone much less be in any type of relationship. According to what I've learned about people, I shouldn't exist.

*goes to check himself into a hospital*
Viewed: 169 times
Added: 7 years, 3 months ago
7 years, 3 months ago
Staying online can drain your very soul. Get off if you must. Chances are it will do you nothing but good.
If you don't matter to anyone else (not true anyways), then that gives you colossal leeway to become your own person, under your own terms, free of external expectations.
"I hate my life right now, a lot..." TIME FOR A MAKEOVER!!!
Never hate yourself. Is it *your* fault the world is shit? I didn't think so.
The internet is full of introverts. Welcome to the club.
Whether we shouldn't exist or not, here we are, so we simply must make the best of it. PROTIP: it's not supposed to be easy,

Don't go check yourself into a hospital!!! There's SICK people in there!!!!
7 years, 3 months ago
Yes! And they're wearing white coats!
7 years, 3 months ago
I should have thought of that b4 I did what I did. :/

Pretty much just stay away from tech for awhile. Go find a soulmate that has the same intrest in you. Hell b4 you leave the internet 4awhile, go to a date website and aply to meet someone. You not a nobody, Your the best damn artist we all know ^^. If you do feel that way about people, you can always adopt a kid. :3
7 years, 3 months ago
Do what you have to, man

Hope things get better for you *hugs tight*
7 years, 3 months ago
Oh, and also, the times I've talked to you, you've seemed like a perfectly nice guy, very easy to get along with.

Don't start thinking you're unlovable!
7 years, 3 months ago
Find your way. Good luck.
7 years, 3 months ago
it takes time I feel how you feel hun. <=3
7 years, 3 months ago
All I know here is, when life is primarily an alternation between bed, online adventures and late-night snacks (emphasis on night), it gets pretty drifty, in very weird ways. Especially if you don't live right around anyone to socialize with.

And then I remember that moment in James Cameron's "Avatar" where the part that was supposed to be Jake's ‘real life’ became like a dream, while that thing he was hooked up to became his reality. And yeah, if you're not ready for that to be your reality, something needs to be changed up.

I disclaim any expertise in this though. I can't even recall living a day without hearing the voice of either family or some sincere kind of friends. But it's always that friendly voice that perks my brain up, I suspect.
7 years, 3 months ago
*hug you* I'm sorry to see that your having troubles with your inner soul... I think that you need a good break from the net... Yup I know I did once and sometime I really enjoy these li'l slices of peace... And remember li'l bro... the net is not the real world... it's only a tool that you use... like your PC... Dont let the net take over your life. And during your break you should enjoy life... make some rides... go in the nature to get inspiration and relaxation... Nourrish yourself from what nature can teach you and by the same your mind and you heart will find peace... I could say that MrSock has given really good advice and did other... and also when we have nightshifts (night working hours) it get's easely on our mind and nerves because of the lack of light... Héhé I know it first hand... Tha's why I allow miself to see dayylight during my 2 day off...
7 years, 3 months ago
Just take a break from everything that feels demanding for a while, go outside, go meet people, talk and stuff.
Read books, take walks.
7 years, 3 months ago
*hugs Looq tight*
7 years, 3 months ago
Best of luck to you <3
7 years, 3 months ago
Please...dont think like that....dude i dont know you very well but from what little contact we have had i know you are a remarkable person...someone i would like to know better....someone whom(if we lived closer) i would be interested in as more than a friend.
You definitely should exist...and i am very grateful that you do...it may have not seemed like much at the time to you but that mini RP a few journals back had me smiling and laughing at a time when i had few things to laugh and smile about...it was so random...and fun...took my mind off my own problems.
I like you alot dude...so please dont be so hard on yourself....thats the trolls job....what,ya wanna put them outta work?
7 years, 3 months ago
I really don't know what happened to make you think like this but i'm here for you. If you ever wanna talk about it, just drop me a call on skype.
7 years, 3 months ago
Your art tells me your a good person, someday you'll find the right one. If you must take a break from the internet and find yourself. hugs
7 years, 3 months ago
You know you're better than that. I hope you feel better soon.
7 years, 3 months ago
How can you say you shouldn't exist and how can you even say nothing matters?

You exist! because when you realize you exist, you also realize you matter, becuase you exist!, you exist and that's it! you matter, which means everything else matters, even your feelings now matters, it's all a way to say, whatever you do in this limited physical reality, you are loved, because if you wheren't loved, you would NOT exist, but you still are.

Right now, allow the feelings in you to come, and allow them to leave when they have done their job, because the only thing you must do is to open up and realize how important you are to everyone of us, don't be afraid to be afraid to open up and completely be yourself, that's when you can allow things to be real, because of course everything IS real, just imagine what nothing is like, it's impossible to think about, because it lies NO words in nothing, not even thought lies in nothing, meaning what you say is real, what you do is real and everything else for example a dream, it IS real, but to YOU, which also means, what i say is REAL.

We love you looq, unconditionally.
7 years, 3 months ago
If you're in the city, let me know.  We'll go out and do real things and do that social thing everyone's talking about.
7 years, 3 months ago
you are having crazy disconnected feelings. i am, use to get like that a lot. it's the kinda thing, you need to just work yourself through.
<3 Huggles.
BTW... I needed to get back online as I write this story, because I couldn't recall for sure, if you are a brown bunny for sure.
My character thought he heard something, as he's laying in a bed at Inkbunny's house, wearing diapers only at this point.
His guy is bothering him, as he knows he's gotta poop.
The feel goes away of course, in a way, as it's not on little 5-year-old FievelJ's mind, hearing someone saying something to him.
He was considering crawling into the crib, or going into the playpen, so that he could relieve himself in his diaper. Of course his plans is to also play in his poop, reaching his paws into his diaper.

((I thought to myself, as I knew the poop wasn’t probably waiting too much longer.
“Who are you?”
Okay, I am imagining that, I didn’t hear that. - I thought.
I crawled outa bed, and then approached the playpen.))
I got sorta stuck, wanting to be sure you are a brown bunny, so I wanted to be sure.
I find the playpen is already occupied by a brown bunny. This three year old bunny, not long after I crawl into the playpen, is grabbing and holding his left foot, sniffing at his Diapie at his anus, and-then giggling.
I didn't know he was there, as now we are both sitting in the playpen. I believe he is gonna ask something like.
"You weren't tired much anyway... were you?"

So you see... you really need to get yourself off of this depression. I wanted FievelJ to suddenly interact with somebody, and picked you for a certain reason. I'll be honest too, you were 2nd.
First choice will probably never be first choice anymore, as he still has me banned... and I don't know if I even care to keep his stupid secrete anymore either... though I won't mention what that secrete is.
(Unistar.) I don't make decisions like that often, but I do. It'll probably take a good year after he removes his dumb ban, that I'll actually forgive him.
So I'll just have to play with Looq. xD :D
I would love to meet you in real life... and I don't care that ur a kid to me... actually, that sounds kinda cool and giddy at the same time.

Cheer up man... Cheer up!
<3 <3 <3 <3
7 years, 3 months ago
It gets no better. That is unless of course you try to get a normal life and if that's the case. Good luck.
7 years, 3 months ago
I do worry about you buddy!
7 years, 3 months ago
Sometimes you have to take a short break from things, even from those that you really like.

I am currently doing that right now for something else.  But I know I will return eventually, and I am sure you will be back eventually.  Take it easy in the meantime!

Edit: Also, www.poemhunter.com/poem/if     By Rudyard Kipling
7 years, 3 months ago
I haven't replied to this journal yet because I'm not too sure what I can say that either hasn't been said or won't feel empty. If you ever want to message me and talk when you have a free moment, though, don't hesitate to do so. I think there's a lot of stuff we could talk through that would clear up a lot of your confusion about where you are in life right now.

Hang in there, dude. :<
7 years, 3 months ago
*hugs tight* i miss you looq :( everyone is real, we just arent there. how crazy would it be if we were all there standing behind you and talking while you were drawing? You would make a wonderful bf. i hope you come back  soon ♥
7 years, 3 months ago
This makes me sad knowing you feel this way. Wish I could go visit you, I feel this way a lot... but getting out around people causes me so much stress and anxiety...

Either way, I hope you feel more up to snuff soon, and I do miss talking lots! <3
7 years, 3 months ago
"feel up to snuff"? 0.o
7 years, 3 months ago
*hugs you tight!*

I'm *SO* sorry I couldn't be here for you earlier buckling! ;.; So sorry, sorry, sorry... I was with family for Christmas.

Are you getting enough sleep?

Happy New Year buckling! *hugs you again*
7 years, 3 months ago
Don't get discourage.
Everyone has someone out their.
Usually when life starts feeling real crappy it's usually right around the time were something great is about to happen in life.
You can take it easy on the internet if you want.

Be positive.
Being negative only results too more negative things coming to be.
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