I got bored yesterday when someone I know on Steam didn't want to "RP" (you know the kind I mean) so I revived my 4 month dead F-list account and went looking for some quick fap material when I got in a pretty disheartening conversation with someone.
Basically the short version is, the site isn't a furry site. That's kind of upsetting to me for a few reasons which I had to think about to make sense of.
It's not that I mind humans in a furry community, but since it isn't a furry community, it feels a little less secure for furries to be there, I doubt that makes any sense so I might as well try explaining it.
Thing is, I feel most comfortable around (MOST) furries, I've rarely met a douchebag in the fandom, and furries are just generally more cuddly, which I like (surprisingly, I'd imagine I'm as cuddly as a sea urchin.) and which is a great ice-breaker that doesn't make me feel awkward or stupid. (Seems backwards I guess but I'm not good at directly addressing people, I feel like I'm bothering them if I have no reason, but all furries I've met like the cuddly thing so that makes it easier.)
Well, you can't do that stuff with humans. Actually, I guess you could with some humans but it isn't a general rule-of-thumb like it is with furries. Not to mention it's hard to tell who's really freaked out by furries until you freak them out. Especially cubs.
And while I'm on that subject, I might as well also admit that sometimes I just think furries are more accepting of strange fetishes than humans are. That might seem a little biased but furries usually don't throw stones in glass houses, at least none that I know.
It's probably because, from my point of view, furries are misfits, so to speak. They're their own subculture with some acceptable traditions that the rest of the world thinks is strange or gross or whatever. And there are a lot more humans than furries, so when a flood of humans populates an area where furries are also likely to congregate, either from being mislead or by choice or otherwise, I feel a little intimidated, it reminds me of how small the fandom is, and that's a little depressing.
Especially considering it's the only internet fandom I really enjoy. Most of the gaming fandoms I've gotten involved in were because I had complaints about the games, furry fandom was something I got involved in for the social experience. It's the one fandom I joined because I liked it, basically.
And I don't want anyone to think I have problems with human characters; I don't. I might be less interested in them as a preference but I'm not against them. It's just, sometimes, I'd like to hang out exclusively around furries. I know that's not possible, I just like it if a specific area of the internet caters to and attracts furries and only attracts the occasional human onlooker as opposed to a huge intimidating hoard of them that make me feel unwelcome by sheer numbers alone.
Obviously they aren't trying to make me feel unwelcome, and truth to tell, with furry fandom and places like F-List, I've only met one human that made me feel really uncomfortable, it's just mainly, when there's a lot of them and so little of us, how am I supposed to feel?
I have no idea how to rationalize the feeling, it's kind of a fear I always have, maybe because I just don't like humanity as a whole or don't trust people I don't find an instant common ground with, I dunno. I'm just a little disappointed and needed to vent.
6 years, 10 months ago
30 Oct 2011 12:19 CET