Welcome to Inkbunny...
Allowed ratings
To view member-only content, create an account. ( Hide )
DrGwenMason

Hello, Inkbunny!

It's with much understanding as to the demographic difference of this particular place that I join. I hope to learn more about all of you and your interests, and maybe help a few of you on the way. Any way you slice it, I'm glad to be here! It's so colorful.

Have a question? Need advice? Just want to talk? I'm here. <3
Viewed: 56 times
Added: 7 years, 2 months ago
 
Priest22
7 years, 2 months ago
It almost feels like I have you all to myself here... Which I don't mind it all <3

I would like to ask your advice about something.

For as long as I have been sexually active, I have only been able to orgasm once without self stimulation.  The act of sex usually makes me feel panicky and overly concerned about my partner and how they are feeling.  It's like I can't even relax and enjoy myself unless I know they are feeling good.

This seeps over into all aspects of my sexuality.  A good example would be my dislike of receiving oral gratification, but an almost mouth watering desire to give it.

I would be less concerned about this if I hadn't recently learned that orgasms can be chemically induced.  Following learning about this, I started having strong fantasies about forcing partners into the throws of pleasure - even unwillingly.

I have always been a very gentle person, so I find this a little disturbing.

 Is this a wrong desire?  

DrGwenMason
7 years, 2 months ago
Well, see now, that's the funny thing about the brain! It doesn't know the meaning of 'wrong desire.' There's only 'desire.' It doesn't really care about morals or anything like that- it just knows what it likes.

Now, what you say is interesting, actually, 'cause it reminds me of others. There are plenty who would think in response to your admission that, "well, hey, great! Someone who's gonna make sure I get mine." But sex is interestingly one of those things that's kinda mutual whether you like it or not. People have to feel like they're attractive and participating, or it feels kinda one-sided.

What I think, is that you may have control issues. Having things be just so in such a way that you can make others go out of control, while always being at the helm. You can orgasm, but only when you let yourself, and only by yourself. I think that you just don't want to be out of control, ever. Unfortunately, that makes for a tough time when your partner wants to do the same thing to you that you do to them!
Priest22
7 years, 2 months ago
I'll have to admit, it's a little bit depressing to hear that.

Maybe depressing isn't the right word, the emotion feels a little bit more like fear.

It's funny, I always thought that everybody else was in control - I was just trying to do what they wanted.  

The logic of what you said makes perfect sense ... but I'm not sure how to use the information.

I guess it's like a kind of a passive control, right?  I always thought it was related to my self esteem, or possibly a need for acceptance, attention, and praise.

I really don't know why, but it is scaring the hell out of me to write this now.  I did not expect your response... when I write something, I can usually guess how a person is going to respond back to it.  I've had years of introspection, and I've never thought about anything remotely like what you said.  I guess that's where the "genius" in "kid genius" comes in.

I don't know, can someone even learn to "let go"?

Thank you Doctor, I await your response







O.o (wow, I'm really honest to god scared)
Priest22
7 years, 2 months ago
Also, I'm ashamed to admit this, but I need to make an addendum to my original statement.

Since you were kind enough to reply and take this seriously, I need to be completely honest with you.

I wasn't completely truthful - I thought my question wasn't interesting enough, so I reworded it to sound a little more interesting.

The only character I've ever fantasized about forcing to orgasm is
SquikBat
SquikBat
's Molly.  Lilshock was kind enough to draw my girl Erin, So I wanted to do something in return for him.  Lilshock had expressed that he preferred to see his characters hurt and used (raped, molested, et cetera), so I wanted to figure out something that might please both of us - and not actually have to hurt his Molly in any way.

Since I had recently seen the sex special about it, I thought that forcing her to orgasm might be the perfect way to do it.  The idea was very appealing to me, but only because the character is specifically designed for this sort of thing (especially since I could have her in pleasure and not in pain).

My imagination quickly turn this into a masterbatory fantasy, and I did feel a little bit guilty, but nowhere near the level I represented in my first statement.

Everything else I stated was absolute truth.

I hope you're not insulted, and I very much do want to continue this conversation.  

I will be completely honest with you from now on.  
DrGwenMason
7 years, 2 months ago
Hm. Well, that does change things a bit. It may surprise you, but I expect a certain level of dishonesty and omission whenever somebody admits something- we have a tendency as people to try and fudge the facts even when we're trying to 'fess up.

That said- and I'm sorry it took a while to get back to you- this image was based on a power fantasy, and I think that it's more relevant than one picture and set of circumstances might suggest. If you were that affected by it, then I would go so far as to say that you've probably had this kind of fantasy underlying for quite some time. People have power fantasies for many reasons, but usually the general thrust of it is that you didn't have control over something in your life at some point, and it really affected you adversely. It could have been drowning, or being scolded and punished, or even something as simple as not being effective at dating.

Understanding all of that, if it wasn't your fantasy, then it might not have much to do with you. In fact, conversely, the guilt factor might be just from doing that picture and not being used to the theme. So I guess it all depends on whether you really liked it or not.
Eviscerator
6 years, 8 months ago
Took me too long.
DrGwenMason
6 years, 7 months ago
What did??
Eviscerator
6 years, 7 months ago
Finding you here. XD
DrGwenMason
6 years, 7 months ago
Better late than never! Hugs are always available!
Eviscerator
6 years, 7 months ago
o.o Can I get a prescription that says this?
DrGwenMason
6 years, 7 months ago
Here you go! And if the pharmacist gives you guff about it being written in crayon, you just tell them I sent you, okie-doke? =)
Eviscerator
6 years, 7 months ago
^_^ Thank you!
threyon
6 years, 7 months ago
If you can write prescriptions for them, does that mean hugs count as physical therapy?
DrGwenMason
6 years, 7 months ago
Of course! They're healing and helpful.
threyon
6 years, 7 months ago
Heheh! =^.^=

Just out of curiosity... would you be terribly offended if I got the occasional refill from your mother, as well?
DrGwenMason
6 years, 7 months ago
I no longer think you're talking about hugs. *giggle*
threyon
6 years, 7 months ago
Huh? Oh. OH! Wow, I can't believe I didn't realize what I said until you pointed that out... *^.^*
New Comment:
Move reply box to top
Log in or create an account to comment.