This single page is the result of 45 entire minutes of painstakingly slipshod work to address a critical problem. The 30 pages of Fred Savage Issue 1, upon tabulation, took an entire 8.4 minutes to skim through and an even more daunting 20-40 minutes to fully savor. No person of modern origin has this kind of time!
Therefore, I present to you the solution: A summary of the entire first issue on one succinct page! Huzzah!
Of course, some folks still like things the old-fashioned way, and I haven't forgotten you! I just hope you have an FA account so you can begin at the first page: