Rocky Rakun
Dragonfly
I walked home, well it wasn't home but the courts said it was till I was older. I
walked down the dirty filthy streets of Los Angeles and tried to picture my nana. I could
barely remember the lake or the swing or even her for that matter but I do remember
quite vividly the Dragonflies.
A paper ball hits me in the head, shaking me from my day-mares of pain and
sorrow. Memories once again slapped me upside the face reminding me of the past three
months. The thin frail women sitting behind her desk, pretending to be teacher ignored
the other students and the chaos that was ensuing. She stood up when her paycheck
required her to teach and sat down and either pretended to grade work or read. Wallowing
in my own self-misery I hadn't quite heard the bell ring till students shoving past woke
me again from my dreams.
I remember, the wet dirt, sour pain and stale perfume. Mourners stood in a semi-
circle all around me wishing for my grandmother not to have passed. They did not
understand my turmoil, my pain. The fact that I lost the single kindest most important
person in my small life didn't seem to even register in their thick adult skulls. The
minister quoting a few empty verses and wishing her well in the afterlife did nothing for
me. I loved her, she saved me and now she is gone. Now I must return to the smog of LA
to the teasing of the neighbors and more abuse and pain.
Sitting in the hospital awaiting the doctors word on her condition was a torture in
and of itself. Waiting with the other well wishers and visitors was an intoxicating sort of
punishment. The sick smell of the sterile hospital was slowly making me ill. I couldn't
feel anything awaiting the answer I already knew. She was dieing, her life was at an end.
I had already cried all my tears and sat numb awaiting the end, waiting for her spirit to
slip away with the other Dragonflies.
I was cast in an eerie glow from the moon as I paced back and forth from the
porch to the kitchen and back. They should have been here by now, where were they?
Where they not coming? Where they trying to punish or tease, to make me suffer? A soft
sound was carried by the wind and the faintest hint of a flashing red light struck the
corner of my eye. Barreling down the road the saviors in white van were coming to help,
I felt guilty assuming they were making my nana wait. Ambulance sirens blared loud and
crisp, even from a distance. I waved my small arms frantically flagging them down. As
soon as I was positive they had seen me, I ran inside. Nanas body laid sprawled out on
the kitchen floor a spilled pot of now cold spaghetti graced the ground. I ran over to her
and checked her again. Her breath was shallow and her eyes blood shot and she wouldn't
respond to me.
The warm afternoon sunlight up the landscape and I sat eating home made ice
cream and enjoying life. My nana was inside; thick savory scents wafted out and aroused
my appetite. Sounds of frying chicken and the smell of mashed potatoes floated out onto
the porch, it was cooking of such skill that only a grandmother could command. I looked
out on to her crisp green lawn with a towering oak tree, my nana claimed that she planted
herself. I have climbed its thick boughs many a time. Thick rough bark held the
memories of many years. I could jump in the tire swing and even after the years it still
held my weight.
I jumped into the cold murky lake I didn't care about monsters. I had seen my fair
share of real monsters so a few imaginary ones living in a lake was foolish. With the cold
water surrounding me I felt invincible. My nana called from the shade of a willow tree to
be careful, I waved in response and dive under exploring the mucky depths. After what
seemed an eternity my nana called for lunch and I swam quite quickly for a filling meal
of her cooking. After a hearty meal we sat examining the most beautiful display of nature
I had ever seen. Thousands of dragonflies fluttered on the wind, I sat my mouth agape.
She smiled as I stared in wonder.
I sat next to my nana eating a peanut butte and jelly sandwich, it was noon, and
the first wave of Dragonflies had made their flight. I remember asking her what they
were, she smiled at the ignorance of a 7 year old and said "oh sweetie those are the dearly
departed." I sat a minute turning this information over in my head and then asked, "why
are they here shouldn't they be on their way to heaven?" I was naive my idea of heaven
was still the fluffy clouds and angels singing on high. "No dear this is heaven, look
around have you seen anything more beautiful?" I sat smiling at my nana and agreeing
whole-heartedly.
I sat in the front row of the courtroom; my nana was next to me and her lawyer
was standing and saying a lot of big words I didn't understand. I was scared I didn't quite
know what was going on. I knew my mommy and daddy were in trouble, I knew about
my dad nut not my mom. "You honor," the lawyer starts "we found over 150 dollars
worth of crack cocaine as well as firearms in the house." The judge nodded and my mom
sitting in the chair facing everyone, she could barely face me. Every time she looked up
and she saw me, I smiled and she looked away. I was sad but happy, "why would she not
look at me?" I didn't know and I won't for a long time. "Custody has been awarded to
Ms. Rita Jones" the judge then banged his gavel and I smiled at my nana. I don't know
what custody means but I think I get to live with her.
I remember being rescued by a policeman, I was attempting to sleep and I heard a
loud noise. The yelling had stopped for once but replaced by a firm voice. I didn't know
who it was, he seemed mean for yelling at my mommy but I didn't care if he yelled at my
daddy. I tried to bang on the closet but I had not eaten in a very long time and I was
barely able to move let alone scream and bang on the walls. I lifted my thin arm and
tapped on the closet door trying to get his attention. The firm voice stopped and asked
them a question. I couldn't make out what it said but I hoped he was referring to me.
What seemed hours later there came a knock on the closet. "Hello is anyone there?" I
moaned trying to let them know but all I could muster before passing out was one final
knock on the door.
It was dark and all I could feel was pain. My pants and hands were covered in
blood and my bottom hurt. The sharp pangs of hunger stabbed me over and over again. I
tried not to sit on my bottom but it hurt so much. I tried to rub the bruises on my arms
hoping they would go away before the last few days of school. I heard muffled yelling
and screaming through the doors, my mother and father were arguing about me again. I
tried to sleep but as soon as it was within my grasp, the pain and hunger shook me awake
violently. I remember the look in my dad eyes as he hit me again, I tried to say I was
sorry for whatever I had done but as I tried to speak he hit me again. He wanted me to do
something for him again but I didn't want to, it hurt so much but he liked it. I have done
it before and my mommy always said it was my fault, that if it weren't for me he
wouldn't be doing it. I cried one last time hoping that if I died, I could go somewhere
nice with a large oak tree and maybe a lake, somewhere I could be safe.
