Welcome to Inkbunny...
Allowed ratings
To view member-only content, create an account. ( Hide )
Gratuitous: The Edge Of Sanity CHAPTER 2
« older newer »
Skeetch
br__sidewalk_heroes.rtf
Keywords male 1109210, hyena 17287, alcohol 3983, platypus 1069, vandalism 81, existentialism 28, beyond recognition 2, 40oz hyena 2, zip tie platypus 1
Sidewalk Heroes

A Beyond Recognition Production


Forty sat, rocking back and forth impatiently on the sidewalk, turning his head every few seconds to watch a car pass. Reaching into the cargo pocket of the baggy cut-off camo shorts he was wearing, the gray-furred spotted hyena retrieved a green lighter and a pack of cigarettes. Wasting no time, he quickly stuffed one in his muzzle and lit it up. Taking a long drag off it, he looked over his shoulder as he heard someone approaching from behind.

“Fuckin' A, Zip, it took you long enough. Where's my beer, duck face?” Forty said, as a brown-furred platypus in a black teeshirt and green plaid shorts sat down next to him on the sidewalk and set down a large brown paper bag.

“What? I was gone like two seconds. Chill the fuck out.” Zip Tie reached into the brown bag and took a forty ounce bottle of malt liquor out and handed it to Forty, who immediately cracked it and took a long swig. Zip Tie laughed and took another bottle of malt liquor and a carton of eggs from the bag. He opened his beer and took a sip, setting the carton of eggs down on the ground between he and Forty. “So, anything exciting happen in the decades I've been gone?” the platypus asked.

“Fuck you, you were gone like 20 minutes.”

“Nice welcome back, considering I bought the beer and the eggs.”

Forty set his beer down and reached down and opened the carton of eggs. “Nah, nothing all that interesting. Today is boring.”

Zip Tie took another swig off his beer. “You're telling me, fag bait.”

Forty looked over at Zip Tie. “The fuck did you just call me?”

The platypus chuckled and reached over, taking Forty's pack of cigarettes out of the breast pocket of the white short sleeve button up shirt the hyena was wearing. “Nothing.”

Forty nodded and compulsively pulled his black knit cap down tighter over his head. “That's what I thought, paddle ass.”

Zip Tie took a cigarette from Forty's pack and lit it up, taking a deep drag before returning the pack to Forty's pocket. The platypus laughed. “So what if it's flat? At least I got a nice big tail I can be proud of. Not like you, hyena boy, with your little bottle brush tail.”

Forty's eye twitched as he slowly turned his head and stared at his friend. “That was low, dude...”

Zip Tie nodded and patted Forty on the back. “Okay, okay... I'm sorry.”

Forty flicked the remnants of his finished cigarette out into the street before turning his attention to his beer. After indulging in several long gulps, he looked over at the platypus sitting next to him. “Hey, Zip Tie?

The platypus rolled his head to the side; his large paddle tail thumped once against the sidewalk. “Yeah?”

Forty took another deep swig off his beer and looked up at the blue early afternoon sky. “You think we do this over and over again? Or maybe when we die, our energy maintains our memories and being, but evolves into a higher level of consciousness?”

Zip Tie rubbed the underside of his bill with a webbed paw. “Hmm. It's a pretty deep question, Forty. The subject of what happens to us after we die is probably one of the oldest discussed topics since we first had free will and conscious thought. Definitely a subject that has been thoroughly mulled over and discussed by philosophers,  poets, and artists, a subject as old as known history itself. A concept intensely debated and frequently killed over by most world religions. It seems to be the one true enigma of our existence here as we know it.”

Zip Tie belched loudly.

Forty nodded sagely. “It really does seem to be the one great mystery of this cosmic roller coaster we call life. I do find myself frequently pondering this question. Could it be possible for one of the many religions we have to be, in fact, correct? Or, once our body ceases to be, is our existence just the first step in a cosmic metamorphosis, becoming part of something larger than ourselves? Like a universal collective consciousness so to speak... I hate to think of the other possibility: of an empty void and nothingness awaiting us upon our demise. I do agree with you however, that it does seem to be that question that we won't have an answer to until we make that final transition from this existence to the next, or lack of one, if that be the case.”

Zip Tie lifted his beer to his bill and took a long swig. Suddenly, his eyes went wide as he spit his beer out and started pointing with his free paw. “Ooo Forty! There! Prius! Prius!!”

Forty and Zip Tie quickly set down their beers and grabbed several eggs from the open carton. Standing quickly, they began hurling the eggs at a light blue Toyota Prius that was driving down the road. “Suck eggs, hippie!!” Zip Tie yelled as a half dozen eggs found their mark on the small hybrid car, splattering egg shells, slime and yolk all over it. As the car screeched to a halt, Forty and Zip Tie looked at each other momentarily and gave each other a fist bump before snatching their beers off the ground. They took off running as fast as they could, laughing hysterically.

Bastards.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
page
1
page
2
page
3
page
4
page
5
page
6
page
7
page
8
page
9
page
10
page
11
page
12
page
13
page
14
page
15
page
16
page
17
page
18
page
19
page
20
page
21
page
22
page
23
page
24
page
25
page
26
page
27
page
28
page
29
page
30
page
31
page
32
page
33
page
34
page
35
page
36
page
37
page
38
page
39
page
40
page
41
page
42
page
43
page
44
page
45
page
46
page
47
page
48
page
49
page
50
page
51
page
52
page
53
page
54
page
55
page
56
page
57
page
58
page
59
page
60
page
61
page
62
page
63
page
64
page
65
page
66
page
67
page
68
page
69
page
70
page
71
page
72
page
73
page
74
page
75
page
76
page
77
page
78
page
79
page
80
page
81
page
82
page
83
page
84
page
85
page
86
page
87
page
88
page
89
page
90
page
91
page
92
page
93
page
94
page
95
page
96
page
97
page
98
page
99
page
100
page
101
page
102
page
103
page
104
page
105
page
106
page
107
page
108
page
109
page
110
page
111
page
112
page
113
page
114
page
115
page
116
page
117
page
118
page
119
page
120
page
121
page
122
page
123
page
124
page
125
page
126
page
127
page
128
page
129
page
130
page
131
page
132
page
133
page
134
page
135
page
136
page
137
page
138
page
139
page
140
page
141
page
142
page
143
page
144
page
145
page
146
page
147
page
148
page
149
page
150
page
151
page
152
page
153
page
154
page
155
page
156
page
157
page
158
page
159
page
160
page
161
page
162
page
163
page
164
page
165
page
166
page
167
page
168
page
169
page
170
page
171
page
172
page
173
page
174
page
175
page
176
page
177
page
178
page
179
page
180
page
181
page
182
page
183
page
184
page
185
page
186
page
187
page
188
page
189
page
190
page
191
page
192
page
193
page
194
page
195
page
196
page
197
page
198
page
199
page
200
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
next
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
previous
page
 
 
page
1
page
2
page
3
page
4
page
5
page
6
page
7
page
8
page
9
page
10
page
11
page
12
page
13
page
14
page
15
page
16
page
17
page
18
page
19
page
20
page
21
page
22
page
23
page
24
page
25
page
26
page
27
page
28
page
29
page
30
page
31
page
32
page
33
page
34
page
35
page
36
page
37
page
38
page
39
page
40
page
41
page
42
page
43
page
44
page
45
page
46
page
47
page
48
page
49
page
50
page
51
page
52
page
53
page
54
page
55
page
56
page
57
page
58
page
59
page
60
page
61
page
62
page
63
page
64
page
65
page
66
page
67
page
68
page
69
page
70
page
71
page
72
page
73
page
74
page
75
page
76
page
77
page
78
page
79
page
80
page
81
page
82
page
83
page
84
page
85
page
86
page
87
page
88
page
89
page
90
page
91
page
92
page
93
page
94
page
95
page
96
page
97
page
98
page
99
page
100
page
101
page
102
page
103
page
104
page
105
page
106
page
107
page
108
page
109
page
110
page
111
page
112
page
113
page
114
page
115
page
116
page
117
page
118
page
119
page
120
page
121
page
122
page
123
page
124
page
125
page
126
page
127
page
128
page
129
page
130
page
131
page
132
page
133
page
134
page
135
page
136
page
137
page
138
page
139
page
140
page
141
page
142
page
143
page
144
page
145
page
146
page
147
page
148
page
149
page
150
page
151
page
152
page
153
page
154
page
155
page
156
page
157
page
158
page
159
page
160
page
161
page
162
page
163
page
164
page
165
page
166
page
167
page
168
page
169
page
170
page
171
page
172
page
173
page
174
page
175
page
176
page
177
page
178
page
179
page
180
page
181
page
182
page
183
page
184
page
185
page
186
page
187
page
188
page
189
page
190
page
191
page
192
page
193
page
194
page
195
page
196
page
197
page
198
page
199
page
200
In this installment, two of your favorite scumbags, 40 and Zip Tie discuss the meaning of life and death over some cheap malt liquor and criminal mischief.

Keywords
Details
Type: Writing - Document
Published: 10 years, 8 months ago
Rating: General

MD5 Hash for Page 1... Show Find Identical Posts [?]
Stats
28 views
2 favorites
2 comments

BBCode Tags Show [?]
 
ConvivialistGilraed
10 years, 8 months ago
Egg-sistentialism. =P
40ozhyena
10 years, 8 months ago
Pfftthahah
New Comment:
Move reply box to top
Log in or create an account to comment.