Star Wars Gansta Rap Chronicles
Sonic the Hedgehog version
Shadow: I'm Lord Vader and I get respect. Your planet and your life is what I expect. Cape on my back, cable box in my chest. Leather pants till my death, hot oil on my breath. Don't be jealous of my boots, jealous of my gloves. Jealous of my belt with my blinking lights 'cause ...I'm the dark lord with the power to diss. Dismiss your feeble skills like they're bantha kiss.
(I'm not much of the swearing type. I'm not sure if "the p word" counts)
Metal Sonic: 1 2 3 and to the 4. It's the Emperor coming thru the door. Ready to make an entrance so back on up. I'm about to blow some planets up. *laughs* Yeah, you know I'm crazy and my skin is pale and pasty. Cuz I'm evil, I like it when the planets go boom! I once got busy in the Death Star bathroom.
SWAT-Bot: Rat-ta-tat-tat. Stormtrooper attack! A hundred laser blasts and I still can't hit jack.
Egg Pawn: Galactic recession you can't avoid. I'll be unemployed if the Death Star's destroyed.
Sonic: 4 and 3 and 2 and 1 and when I'm on the mic, the sand people run. Cause the force is flowing, the lightsaber glowing, I drink my blue milk cuz it keeps me growing. I'm not joking, my family's straight broken. Now my uncle Owen's in the front yard smoking. A barbaraque for Aunt Peru. Now there's nothing left on the farm to do. Sold my land speeder and I sold my comb, now I'm feathering my hair all alone. I'm a Jedi Knight with the license to kill. I think you know what time it is. It's time to get ill.
Knuckles: In my vest, I'm the best smuggla. Light beer chuggla, Leia's main snuggla. Shakin' loan sharks when the Falcon starts and Chewie's killing gundarks with them wookie farts.
Amy: I'm Leia all up in your face. I'm the only chick in outer space. Gold bikini, there is no other. I got to first base with my brother.
Silver: I'm not intergalactically know, but I wear a blue cape at home. Lost the Falcon, I was low on cash. Don't talk trash about my mustache. I can swindle, I'll get crooked. I had Han, but Vader took him. Now, look what we have here. I'm still balling year after year.
Blaze: Public enemy Obi-Wan. Stormtroopers say freeze, but they got none. I can make them say I never had a laser gun, but it's the Jedi tricks I'm playing on your mind, son. Cause I'm Old Ben, eating Uncle Ben's. In my burlap depends, no next to kin. I'll tell ya about the twins and trying to make amends with my old friends. Obi out and I'm ghost again.
Rouge: 6 million forms of ill communication. E Chu ta, no need for translation. Odds of me complaining is 1 to 1. Jabba never wears any pants for fun.
Chaos: I'm obese, I never count the calories. A freak show gallery is my reality. Love them slave girls, but I need some more. More people snacks for the rancor.
Cream: Who's the Mack? Is it R2-D2? Holograms every time he sees you. Always plugging into systems unprotected. Is your 5 and a quarter floppy drive infected?
Tails: Swamp water I drink and root leaf I eat. Three dirty toes on my green wrinkled feet. Snakes in my bed, can't get any sleep. Training's complete, can I borrow a sheet? I wish I was 3 foot taller. I wish I was a baller. I wish I had a soft shell turtle, I would call her. Wish I had a snake in a hat, not a womp rat, with a tydirium impala. *cough* Yeah, boy. Star Wars fans never die. They just multiply. Word to your mother. Rest, I need... rest. Forever sleep.
Star Wars forever.
