I wrote this parody back in 2004, and performed it first at Midwest Furfest that year. The previously published recording was a slightly better rendition, performed at Morphicon in 2005.
In remastering it, I had to replace the original voice of Fidget (Treads Lightly) since he was unavailable.
Twitch: Hello, everybody! My name is Twitch, and this is my friend Fidget, and we...
Fidget: No, no! You're doing it wrong! You're supposed to be over there!
Twitch: What, over where that metal ice cream cone is?
Fidget: It's a microphone. You're supposed to talk into it.
Twitch: Oh! Hello! Testing! Ow! Ow! Oh, that's better... Hello, everybody! My name is Twitch, and this is my friend Fidget, and we're so happy to be here in this recoding stupido...recorring stoogio... I can't say that word!
Fidget: No, no! You're still doing it wrong! Everyone is going to think that we're all airheads that speak with speech impediments.
Twitch: But I *am* an airhead! Yes! The fur on top of my head is so soft it's like air! That's why everyone calls me an airhead.
Fidget: Well, I'm not an airhead. I'm a fern....a fernit... I'm a weasel.
Twitch: We're not weasels! We're ferrets!
Fidget: But I can't say that!
Twitch: Oh, that's okay. I can't say recording studio.
Fidget: You just did.
Twitch: I did?? Well, Happy Birthday, then!
Fidget: *sigh* You're such an airhead...
Twitch: Yes, I know... Anyway, we brought all of our ferret friends here, and we're going to sing The Ferret National Anthem! Can you help me?
Fidget: You need all the help you can get...
Twitch: That's right! So everyone sing along, okay?
Fuzzy you're a fur Just a little cur Playing in the sun Having fun and mischief every day! You got fuzz on your face It's no disgrace Shaking your tail all over the place
Chorus: We are, we are ferrets!
Twitch: Sing it-ah!
Chorus: We are, we are ferrets!
Twitch: Okay, your turn.
Fidget: Fuzzy you're a critter From a litter Tearing all around Even underground and climbing every day! You got fuzz on your face It's no disgrace Scritching my back all over the place
Chorus: We are, we are weasels!
Twitch: Weasels?
Fidget: Weasels!
Twitch: Ferrets!
Chorus: We are, we are ferrets!
Twitch: Okay, I'll sing the last verse.
Fuzzy, you're a mustelid Musta been funny running in the halls Nature calls and you obey You got fuzz on your face It's no disgrace Nobody better put us back into our place!
