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James and Samantha
teen_love_volume_one.doc
Keywords cub 251218, vixen 27238, lizard 22766, story 12745, clean 10226, male female 6544, series 4428, short 3532, new 2766, one 1032, volume 142, start 65, starting 23
Hello readers, this is the first time I’ve ever tried to write a proper story so bear with me if it’s a bit boring, plus I'm a tad dyslexic so please excuse the grammar.

“Bye, see you soon” I waved good bye to my parents as I watched them drive away from the house they had grown to hate. I don’t know why, maybe it had something to do with my style choices, but I suspected it had more to do with my roommate. He wasn’t exactly bad, but he wasn’t….all there. James was a 17 year old lizard, with a weird reddish coloured head of hair, that would always be stuck out at the same angle no matter the situation; he would sometimes zone out completely and then have a massive brain wave of things he decided he was going to do. He never completed the list.

“Have they gone?” Asked James as he stuck his head down from the attic that he lived in. “yes” I sighed back, that was another thing about James, he was very nervous around people, I had know him for 3 years before he even let me see his face, but he was quirky and I liked that about him. “Good” he replied as he allowed himself to fall 5 meters from the opening of the ceiling to the floor, making a typically graceful landing. “How do you do that?” I asked, hoping that I could one day do it myself.

“All in good time” he replied. I suppose that the house really belonged to him, but he never let anyone say it was his, and I suppose the first reason I had for living here was that I knew he was never going to hit on me like my old roommates used to.

“Come on” I said. “Well be late for school otherwise.”

“Ok” he replied as he leapt over me, I could feel the rush of air go over the top of my ears, as he passed over head. I suppose I should tell you a little about me and less about him, but there’s not much to tell. I’m a 16 year old vixen, with yellow fur and short brown hair, I'm of average intelligent, and my strength lies in gymnastics, as does James’s. After a 30 minute walk, which mostly consisted of me and James talking about the homework, as I made sure id got the right end of the stick by check my answers against James’s work, we finally arrived at school. It was a large building, with tall towers that I and James would climb at lunch, much to the teacher’s annoyance. The actual grounds were quite small but thanks to the height there were about 300 rooms, which I could never remember the layout for.

We went to our first class together, as we had the exact same timetable, and took our seats next to one another. “Class, today we shall be discussing how to apply physics to our everyday lives.” Droned the teacher, luckily I had James next to me, which meant I could relax as he helped me to answer all the questions I didn’t understand. After about 2 lifetimes the class ended and the teacher gave us our scores, “James, 100% as usual,” he then received about 6 paper balls to the head, all of which he caught and sent twice as quickly back to the shooters, “Samantha 99%.” I received no paper balls as James always caught them and then had a “talk” with the throwers, after he had identified them, which had put them of the thought quite early on. He could take the punishment himself, but never allowed other people to unrightfully suffer.

We got home at about 4 o’clock and had the whole weekend to relax as we never had any homework set on Fridays. “I think that today went rather well.” Chirped James in his sarcastically optimistic tone. “Yeah”, I chuckled back, “couldn’t have been better”

“Maybe we should go do something to help us relax before the test on Monday” he said with a yawn,” WHAT TEST?” I screamed with a panic in my voice. “I’m joking,” replied James with a small laugh “we haven got any tests for at least 3 months.” “Good,” I sighed the panic gone from my voice along with all the tension in my body.

After about 3 hours of telly James said that he was gong to go to bed, “goodnight” I yawned, and then for no reason what so ever I kissed him, without warning. After a minute of confusion he broke off uncomfortably “uh. yeah. Goodnight”. He quivered as he left the room and jumped up into his attic. And as I fell asleep on the sofa with a smile on my face, I imagine what life would be like if he was my boyfriend. And as the images raced through my mind, I knew. I couldn’t just stop there.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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First in pool
Last in pool
a short story, based on what goes on in my mind. this book is in noway based on my actual life, and is not written from my point of view.

Keywords
cub 251,218, vixen 27,238, lizard 22,766, story 12,745, clean 10,226, male female 6,544, series 4,428, short 3,532, new 2,766, one 1,032, volume 142, start 65, starting 23
Details
Type: Writing - Document
Published: 11 years, 6 months ago
Rating: General

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lolcat62
11 years, 6 months ago
I know its a tad boring but its the first time ive ever tried this and im not gona stop if people dont like it.
wickedflame
11 years, 6 months ago
not bad
lolcat62
11 years, 6 months ago
thanks, i was really nervouse about writeing this in case i made a fool of myself, P.S thanks for the Watch )
IndigoNeko
11 years, 6 months ago
Not a bad start! I'll keep a watch on you so that I don't miss anything new you post.

Since it appears you're a relatively new writer, here's a few things to keep in mind. You haven't done any of these yet, so don't worry too much. They're just things to keep in mind.

1) Read this: https://www.sofurry.com/view/281268
2) Be careful about giving characters too much "awesome" (examples include incredible physical abilities, super powers, psychic abilities). It actually makes them less awesome, UNLESS you actually write the sections where they gain those abilities, and it's something unusual that hasn't been done in a movie or comic book.
3) Don't neglect description...more description is almost always better. HOWEVER, description should ONLY be given when it is relevant. Instead of giving a full description of a character, location, etc. all at once, blend it into the story. For example, If a vixen has long flowing hair that's been dyed a brilliant red to contrast with their russet fur...don't describe it the first time you meet her. Instead, put the description of her hair in a few paragraphs later, when she does something like nervously winding it around her finger.

Cheers!
lolcat62
11 years, 6 months ago
thanks for the advice, since im new to this ive just been writing EVERYTHING I CAN THINK OFF IN A BLIND PPANIC TO SOUND VAGLEY KNOWLEDGEABLE. and no one ive asked, besides you, has said whats wrong, because they "don't want to offend me", which isn't very helpful if i want to improve. so thanks for the critisisam. :)
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