Did you ever wake up one day and realize that this will be the day that changes your life? Well I haven’t…Never have, never will. Most people would describe me as boring, simple, quiet, unimaginative and many more qualifiers to describe how amazingly sterile my life is. Now I know most stories start off with an amazing back story before an adventure that changes a reader’s life, attitude and whole perspective. Not me or mine…sorry, if you want something more life altering then go somewhere else. Now what you will get from this story is sense of self-worth and accomplishment, no matter what gutter you live in, what whores you’ve paid or what jobs you lost. Though the reason you feel these things is not because of a heart felt story conveying emotion and change, depth and love, but because of the fact that I lack all those things. I am: one dimensional, cowardly, unwilling, arrogant, selfish, and self-deprecating, plus a great many more adjectives I may have left out. Now honestly if that doesn’t make you sit up a little straighter in your seat, I don’t know what will. So the next bit you read here will lead up to how I became king of an entire dimension and get a good number of great people killed in the process.
Chapter 01 – Being the story of a boy who has no business mucking about with quests, knights, goblins and dragons.
Now I am 24 years old, work at a dry cleaner and live in New York City with my father. Most people groan and complain that they live with their parents but not me; I got a pretty sweet deal. See my old man was a hero years ago, so we have more money than we know what to do with along with stocks, bonds, piles of krugerrands and investments scattered throughout this world. Now the thing is, my father is an old lazy drunk and getting any money out of him besides paying the basic bills is honestly a pain in the ass. So I keep a day job at a local dry cleaner and use all that money for liquor, smokes, drugs and really whatever the hell I want to spend it on. Now if I was a normal rich playboy with class, style or charm, I would be out on the town spending money like it was water and coming home at all hours of the night with woman of less than vigilant morals but alas that isn’t me. I prefer to spend my time sitting silently in the dark and being boring. That’s me in one word, boring. I don’t get bored because I am ok sitting quietly and not doing anything. I have never felt the need to really excel or be unique; I am ok blending into the back ground, a wallflower.
Well so now that I have told you of me, I might as well explain my father and what I meant when I said he was a hero. I wasn’t lying; he really is a hero, and not one of those unsung, everyday bullshit heroes; like a Fire men, Boy Scouts or Cops. I mean a real sword in hand, killing lions with his bare feet kind of hero. He was the kind of man who would spit in the eye of a god and get a quick handy for his effort. In his glory days he was a mountain of a man. He had toned muscles, great skin and golden flowing hair down to his ass. His name is Khiron and he was born in a parallel dimension that occupies the same space as earth but with a completely different reality. It is the place where all the dreams of dragons, wizards and knights came from. The kind of place where ones dreams could come true, then again I think he is full of it. He claims to be equivalent to a god, to have slain mighty beasts and tamed the wilds lands of Corris, but he is a frail old man who is definitely crazy. He says the reasons we have stories of these fantastic creatures is some psychic bleed through, or some other cockamamie crap, I wasn’t really listening when he explained it.
My brother could probably explain it better than me but he isn’t around. He is off being the millionaire playboy inventor that I’m not. We are two totally different people, where I am indistinct like a grease smudge; he is a brilliant ball of light and warmth, inspiring courage and ingenuity in those around him.
Yet the one thing I got from my father is luck. Not normal luck but I can always find my way out of a bad situation, or hide when need be. Not the visceral, raw luck that brings job offers and learning opportunities. Its funny how out of all the glory that is my genetic crock pot, I happen to get the bit with fat and bone.
This is the first sample chapter of a book I am writing and want to get published. I really want this for people to read and give me feed back. This is in no way complete but a work in progress and kind of rough. If you have any critiques beyond grammer or syntax errors please let me know!