Percy's Life Part 3 - Out of the Closet
Copyright 2017 by Simplemind
The relationship between Allen and me continued for some time. During summer camp and also back home. We had a lot of fun together and were experimenting. Thanks to Allen, I learned so many new things about myself. Things that I wouldn't have dreamed about before! I also realized that making out with a guy was much more than just a phase for me. I enjoyed it! Until that time, I never had anything with a girl, and after Allen, I didn't even feel the need to try anymore. This was what I wanted, and this was who I am!
We kept our relationship a secret, of course! It was safe to assume that neither of our parents would consent. And since Allen already had a really bad experience with his parents finding out about his homosexuality, which led him to move here in the first place, we simply didn't want to take the risk. Naturally, we couldn't hide it forever, however much we tried. And the day it came out, everything changed...
To this day I am not fully aware of how exactly we got discovered. Maybe we became too careless over time, maybe Allen's parents had a closer eye on him than we thought, or maybe someone saw us together? A classmate perhaps? Rumors like that can spread fast in such a small place, you know. Anyways! I don't even care! It happened. It was unpleasant, but it happened, and no force on earth could undo it. There's no use in searching for a scapegoat now!
In some way, it was even a good thing. It was easily the most life-changing, most painful and hardest event to occur in my life thus far, but without it I probably would never have found my true place in this world! And that would have been a really sad thing. I guess life just works this way: Every bad has its good, and every good its bad. You can never reach the top of the ladder, but you also can't hit the ground, which is at least something, but I'm getting off the track here...
So, when my father found out... Well... I don't really need to tell you that he was out of his mind, do I?
I was just coming home and could hear the yelling and clamor even from outside. He was of course blaming my mother for it. She had pampered me too much, he said. Raised me as a weakling. Treated me like a little girl...
I just wanted to run and hide in the woods, like I often did when my dad had a tantrum. But that day I couldn't! I couldn't leave my mom alone. I couldn't let my dad get through with this. I'd need to face him anyways, sooner or later, so why not now?! I took my courage in both paws and went inside. I would give him a piece of my mind!
Of course, once he stood in front of me with that despising look in his eyes, all my composure was gone. I was that little toddler again who had disappointed his dad, got rejected and ended up landing on his butt, crying.
"You?!" he yelled at me. "How dare you to show up here?! How dare you to come back here, after what you did to us? How long has this been going on, huh? How long did you let that damn fox screw you?!" he screamed and paused only long enough to take a breath. "A fox, for god's sake, Percy! Do you know how that makes me look? How it makes our family look? What will the people say if they find out that my son is a goddamned faggot?!"
From the side, my mom spoke to him and warned him to watch his mouth, but he wouldn't listen. As always...
He went on with his philippic, said it wouldn't make a difference what to call me, that I have been nothing but a disappointment to him, that he should have given me up for adoption or better yet abandon me in the forest, and he called me a faggot a good dozen more times. I let him ramble until he ran out of steam, and it took me everything not to tear up. It hurt so much to hear all of this from someone who was supposed to love me. Also my mother was shocked. When he finally had reached the end of his harangue, and sarcastically wanted to know what in the world he did to deserve a son like me, I did something that I'd never thought I'd do: I raised my voice against my father!
I had tears in my eyes and my knees were wobbling like jelly when I said to him, "How can you call me your son if you've never been a father to me?!"
That seemed to spike his anger anew. He dared me not to raise my mouth against him, and that I wouldn't even be here, weren't it for him. But it was too late for me to stop now. I needed to get this off my chest. I wanted him to hear how I feel, and so I yelled that this would have probably been for the best, and that everything would be better than to be here and to have to call him my father.
He seemed to explode at that! Snarling, he stroke out to beat me. I covered my face and didn't realize what happened until it was too late. In the last moment my mom jumped in front of me to stop my father. He tried to dodge her, but it happened anyways and she toppled over. I called out for her, and even my dad took a second to regard her, but apparently dealing with me was more important to him.
"Look what you did, you little bastard!" he barked and grabbed me by the scruff of my neck, dragging me to the front door. I struggled to get away, but was no match to him. Eventually he opened the door, kicked me out and sent me tumbling down the porch landing. I hit the ground ungently, but safe for some dust was not hurt.
The last thing I ever heard my father say to me, before he slammed the door shut and finally and ultimately excluded me from his life was, "You think you'd be better off somewhere else? Then go and chance your luck! And don't dare to ever show your face here again!"
I got to my feet and walked away. Suddenly everything was quiet in the early evening air. Only a few birds were chirping in the woods. It was as though nothing had happened at all, just a regular dusk. It felt unreal.
I didn't even make it down the driveway, when my mom came after me. I waited for her. She was calling my name, cried and dragged me into a hug as though she'd never let me go again. I held her tight and apologized to her. She wouldn't hear it, though. All she wanted to know was whether I was okay. I assured her that I was, and tried to calm her down.
When she urged me to come back home, I saw her already swollen face and knew that this was the one thing I would not do! I couldn't live in the same house with this man for one more second, not even for my mom! And I wished she wouldn't have to either, but that was beyond my power.
We took a walk down the road, to give my father enough time to cool down, and talked. Mainly about what I was going to do now. Honestly, I had no fucking idea! I was too young to be forced to make such a decision, but there was no way back anymore. At least none that I was willing to take. In the end I was able to call my good friend Naoki, the panda, and got his permission to sleep at his place for a few days. I couldn't stay at Allen's for obvious reasons.
Mom gave me all the money she carried with her and said, she'd come by tomorrow to bring me my stuff. It was a bit awkward to live with Naoki under these circumstances. I mean, we had sleepovers before, but this was different. Still I owe him, and also his father, a lot for letting me stay! I had nowhere else to go.
Of course, though, this was only a temporary thing. I couldn't live with them forever. I took the time I had and decided what I wanted to do with my life. I certainly wouldn't go back, that was for sure, but I also couldn't leave mom and Allen behind!
As it turned out, though, also Allen's parents got aware of the rumors about us. They wouldn't let him see me anymore. I tried to contact him, and I'm sure he did the same, but his parents treated me like a criminal. They wouldn't let me talk to him, didn't open the door and eventually even chased me off their property. A few weeks later their house was empty. They had moved again.
I wish I could tell you a happy end, or at least that he sneaked out and that we shared one last kiss together, but I can't. I don't know where they went, have no way to contact him and didn't even get a chance to say good bye. I never saw Allen ever again...
After I lost Allen, which was by far the worst thing about this whole misery, nothing held me in my hometown any longer. With the support of my mom, who continued to give me money without my father's knowledge, I moved to Westport and rented a small apartment. It was nothing fancy (far from that, actually), but it was affordable and served its purpose. I did some casual jobs to make ends meet, and besides that finished school, albeit with a bad degree.
Westport is a fairly big city on the coast. It's quite far from my hometown, but somehow that's also fitting for a new start, don't you think? I like it here. It's big, nice and not too crowded in the most places. Kinda like one giant suburb, really relaxed and not as fast and loud as other metropolises. The people are also nice! Sure, I get a few odd locks for my strange color, but there are so many different and weird and strange people running around here that I almost look normal. It's really not a big deal, absolutely no comparison to that old, niffy town I used to call home!
I found some great new friends and, once I got over the heartbreaking end with Allen, also started to date some guys. About to that time, I found my way into the gay scene of the city, and started to live my life to the fullest!
I assume that you want to hear details, right? Well, I still do have some things to fill you in about. But not until next time!
To be continued
