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averincm
averincm's Gallery (60)

The Epic of Boozy Barrister

Voice Heard
poetry_postings_056.txt
Keywords fanart 13286, clean 6512, badger 2561, poetry 627, poem 464, epic 441, cursing 54, law 53, rmfc 12, boozy 1
The Epic of Boozy Barrister

Oh,
Biting blogger bein' boozy,
Fuzzy, fussy, picky, choosy,
Couple bottles in, was woozy,
Desp'rit to unearth a doozy!

Records empty, feelin' bluesy,
All the shit he saw was snoozy,
"'Nother story 'bout some floozy—
...wolfman with a fuckin' uzi?"

Oh,
That blasted Boozy Barrister,
Turned out to be the fairest fur!
Dreadful document destroyer,
Utter otter board annoyer,
Para-legal drink-enjoyer—
Post quick fandom reconnoitre!

Oh,
Yeah, so what, he likes his liquor—
Malt's his fav'rite upper-picker—
Makes it so his faith don't flicker,
'Fore this case, was never sicker!

Not your average city-slicker,
Badger'd through the thick and thicker,
Fuzzy-wuzzy fascist-kicker,
Ain't no one who sinks 'em quicker!

Oh,
He'll scold your sov'reign citizen,
And throw their letters in the bin!
Badger on a bitchin' bender,
Clearin' checks and legal tender!
"C&D? Return to sender:
...Nazi pedo sex-offender?"

Oh,
"Quiet in the courtroom! Hurry!"
Roared the Judge, bitter, burry,
"Racket's deafening the jury—
Why's your phone receiving flurries?!"

"Honor—hic—it ain't no worries!"
Mumbled Boozy, vision blurry,
Vocals very slightly slurry,
"Twitter teems with fuckin' furries!"

Oh,
Some Fascist Furs the breakin' straws?
He knows the law just like his paws!
Barry's now a Boozy Badger—
Discounts banned, so don't you cadger—
Barrin' some strange force of majeure,
Foes he'll kick right 'twixt the nadgers!*
*Figuratively!

-Charles Michael Averin
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Writer's Bloc
Voice Heard
He wanted folk songs. Details may have been embellished in traditional fashion.

Disclaimer: foul language.

Keywords
fanart 13,286, clean 6,512, badger 2,561, poetry 627, poem 464, epic 441, cursing 54, law 53, rmfc 12, boozy 1
Details
Type: Writing - Document
Published: 2 weeks, 2 days ago
Rating: General

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