“Donatello!”
Leo had used his full name. That usually meant that he was displeased with something and Donnie had a feeling that he knew what it was. With a slight groan of displeasure, Donnie placed the computer monitor down and waited for Leo to approach.
After they had defeated the Shredder and his protégé Eric Sacks, the Turtles had set out to find a new lair. They had found an amazing place that was larger than their old home. There was enough room for them to each have their own room and an access shoot that was like a water slide. Donnie even had a large room for a new lab.
Donatello had his work cut out for him. He had to set up his computer array and security systems, access the city’s mainframe to make sure no workers came into the area, install central air, and tap into the city water supply to make sure they had clean running water. Most of their big appliances were still in good enough condition that they only needed a little repair but beyond the refrigerator, those weren’t very high on his priority list.
Donnie’s top priority was setting up his computers. He couldn’t keep the family safe without them. Everyone else had their attention set on other priorities.
Leo closed the gap between them, walking right up to Donnie. “What have we talked about?”
“It’s not that heavy, Leo.” Donnie did his best not to roll his eyes but he couldn’t hide his annoyance. Leo could be such a mother hen at times.
“It’s heavy enough,” Leo argued and bent down to pick up the monitor. “We agreed that you would take it easy for the next few months. We will handle the move. You and father can help with organization, as long as you don’t lift anything heavy.”
“It’s not like it matters.” Donnie felt a lump form in his throat and had to swallow hard in an attempt to rid himself of it. “With everything we’ve already been through…. We were attacked, drained of our blood, given a boost of adrenaline, fought while sliding down a mountain, entered into another stressful battle and then fell from the top of a building.” He sighed in frustration and adjusted his glasses. “At this point, it just doesn’t matter. It’s not like lifting something heavy is going to make a difference anyway. This year, like all other years, it is a lost cause.”
“Don’t say that.” Leo’s tone had gone from angry to soothing. He sifted the monitor in his arms and looked up at Donnie. “I’m not going to give up and I will do whatever it takes to help you.”
“You worry too much,” Donnie sighed.
“I care,” Leo corrected.
Donnie looked down at the ground. “I’ll be fine, Leo.”
“Just….” Leo’s eyes were pleading. “Humor me…. Okay? When all of that happened, it was early spring. They weren’t really developing then. They are developing now, so you have to take it easy.”
“Fine,” Donnie gave in. “I’ll take it easy. But I need to get my computers set up. We have no early warning system anyone can walk in on us. The sensors you let me set up throughout the sewers are no use to me without my computers.”
“Where would you like this?” Leo asked, indicating the monitor. “I’ll stay in here with you and help you set it up. As long as you need me.”
Over the next few hours, Donnie told Leo where to place his various computer parts. There were a few times he had Leo move items back and forth until he was satisfied with their position. Leo followed Donnie’s instruction without complaint. Once Donnie was pleased with the setup, he got to work connecting them. There was no heavy lifting involved so Leo didn’t object but he stayed in the lab just in case Donnie needed something moved.
When the array was done, Donatello sat down and got to work. Leo lingered for a while but soon realized that Donnie wasn’t going to be moving so left him to his work.
Losing himself in his task, Donnie had no idea how much time had passed until Mikey walked in with a plate of pizza and a large glass of milk. Don took a moment to thank Mikey before returning his attention to his set of screens. He vaguely remembered Leo checking in on him to remind him to eat. After that Donnie made an effort to eat and drink his milk, despite the fact that he felt full.
Hours later Raph entered the lab. “You need to go to bed.”
Pulling his eyes off the screen, Donnie looked up at his massive brother. After a few blinks, Donnie had to admit that his eyes felt tired and dry. He needed some sleep. “Yeah. Okay.” Removing, his glasses he rubbed his eyes in hopes of getting a few tears flowing. “The sensors are online. I can call it a night.” When he put his glasses back on, he saw Raph’s hand extended out to him.
“Let’s go, Brainiac,” Raph said with a slight smirk.
Donnie accepted Raph’s help up and together they made their way to Donnie’s room. There were boxes and unsorted items littering what was going to be the common room of the lair. Someone, probably Mikey, had attempted to set up the television array on their own. From the looks of it, it wasn’t done properly. Donnie wondered how long it was going to be before Mikey started to beg.
Donnie’s room was the one closest to his lab, that way he could hear any alarms that happened to go off. Leo’s was the next one over, more or less, for the same reason.
They entered Donnie’s room and he headed straight for his bed. Raph looked around at the sparsely furnished room with no decorations. “So… are you going for that prison cell feel…?”
“This hasn’t been a priority,” Donnie said with a chuckle. “I’m sure you have your walls covered in those posters of half-naked ladies by now.”
Raph shook his head and laughed. “No. Those are Mikey’s. He’s the one who’s attracted to human females.”
“You’re not?” Donnie wanted to know.
“Nah.” Raph looked Donnie in the eyes. “Not my type. I think… I might like guys.”
Donnie felt himself start to flush and had to look away. “So then your wall has pictures of men?”
Raph let out a hearty laugh. “No. I’m not into humans. They’re too squishy. I need someone who won’t break when I’m with them.”
“Oh,” Donnie replied. “Kind of limits your options then.”
A soft smile turned up the edges of Raph’s mouth. “I like the options I’m limited to.” He moved closer to Donnie so that they were only inches apart.
Chuckling nervously, Donnie shifted from one foot to the other but stayed close to Raph. “Are you still… experiencing the effects of spring?” Donnie was already over it but it wasn’t unheard of for his brothers to take a little longer to get it out of their systems.
“No,” Raph answered, moving closer.
Donnie stepped back and turned towards his bed. “Then what are you doing?”
“Well, I’m trying to let you know how I feel about you,” Raph said, his voice a little taut.
Turning to face Raph, Donnie did his best to control his conflicting emotions. “How you feel?” Tears fell from his eyes as he shook his head and let out a frustrated laugh. “You’re into males? That’s rich.” Once again he turned away from Raph. “Get out.”
“I’ve always seen you as male, Donnie,” Raph insisted.
Donnie let out another humorless laugh. “Deep down you know that I’m lacking an important part of being male. That’s why you are attracted to me and not Leo or Mikey. You’re not gay.”
“That’s not true,” Raph argued. With just a few long strides he closed the gap between them and forced Donnie to turn and face him. “To me, you are male. I wish you had all the things that would make you physically male.”
“Do you?” Donnie glared at Raph, unable to believe him. “I highly doubt that.”
“I do,” Raph said sincerely.
“Then why me,” Donnie asked. “Why not Leo or Mikey? If you were really gay then you would be attracted to someone who has a penis.”
“Do you know Leo and Mikey?” Raph chuckled softly, drawing a similar chuckle from Donnie. Raph reached up to cup Donnie’s face and ran his thumb along Donnie’s cheek, wiping away a stray tear. “I… I… love you, Donnie. I never said anything before because… I, for starters, never felt worthy and thought you would reject me. I didn’t know if you were gay. I was also afraid you would react this way.”
Donnie felt himself smile as he leaned against Raph. But he still needed to be reassured. “Do you really wish my body matched the way I feel? You’re not attracted to me… because… you know?”
“Yeah,” Raph whispered, wrapping his arms around Donnie. “It would be nice to be able to… change positions every once and a while. I really do see you as male. Even in the spring. I just saw you as a guy who liked to bottom and lately I’ve found myself wishing that you would to top.”
Donnie pulled back a little so that he could look up into Raph’s eyes. “You would let me top?”
“Let you?” Raph smiled. “It’s something I want. And something tells me that now that you know, you will come up with a way to make that happen.”
“Now you’re assuming that I’m gay and totally on board with this. What makes you think that I don’t like the squishy human women?” Donnie teased but didn’t pull away when Raph leaned down for a kiss.
