It was early that day when I went to visit him, I wanted to get there as soon as possible. It was a little chilled outside but I didn't mind too much as I walked forwards to my destination, stopping in front of a tombstone. Slowly I knelt down and placed the small bundle of flowers I brought with me as I took a light breath.
"Hi Dad..." The words slipped from my mouth slowly, and quietly as nothing above a whisper. No matter how often I came here, it never got easier to look at the stone tablet, but I'd made a vow I would come whenever I could, "Sorry I took so long getting here this time... That place where I worked kept me busy... Hope you aren't too mad that I didn't get the full time job."
I couldn't help but sniffle lightly as I spoke and continued to do so, "And just wanna let you know, I am not angry with mom about how she took the whole thing... Just trying to figure out my own path in life ya know?" My right hand came up to clutch a small green stone that was draped around my neck at that point as I continued, "I'm seeing someone again as well now... You remember Bacent right? My friend down in the states, who sent me this? Well... I asked him out recently and he said yes. He's a great guy... I'm sure you'd love to meet him sometime, he helped me so damn much after..."
At that point I found it hard to really hold back any sobbing. This was the first time I'd waited at the grave myself, it was rather hard being there alone but it was something I needed to do. I clenched my pendant a little tighter as a few tears slipped down my face as I worked up the words again, "Dad... I hope you're proud of me. I'll try to come again soon..." I wiped my eyes of water running past them and slowly rose to my feet, feeling a little shaky though. I placed a hand atop the tombstone and offered a small silent prayer before it, turning and slowly walking away from the quiet and still surrounding.
(These words above are the exact things I said the last time I visited him...)
June 16th, 2010... I day I'd rather honestly purge from my mind. As some of you know, that was the day my dad suffered from a heart attack. I'd been in my room when my cat suddenly came rushing into it scared our her wits. Something was wrong, I could tell right then. Nothing could have honestly prepared me for the sight that I saw when I went to look for myself...
I can still remember everything from that god damn night... The paramedics in our place, the drive to the hospital, the awful wait in the little room at the hospital... I'm not sure how long we were there for but... at 10:15pm we were told that he had passed away. Never in my life had I felt that kind of pain as those words left the doctors mouth.
Nearly four long years have passed since then... And it still hurts. I know the healing process takes time however, but there are just days even now that I still feel so damn lost. When he died, a part of me went with him. You can ask anyone who knew me back when this occured just how disheartened I was each day, just how depressed. If not for one man in particular I don't know if I would have brought myself back out from that dark place. Thanks to him, as well as keeping the gaia stone he sent me (As seen in the picture) close to me, I was able to recover some of what I had lost. Thank you
As for this picture, this is something I've been wanting to get for the longest time but I just had not thought of how I should get it done, or by whom. That's when my friend nova_vairsane mentioned he was getting a stream from