For almost as long as I can remember, I knew I wanted to get married. But not just to anyone. I loved sappy romance stories. Heck, I wrote them! I wrote a ton of fanfic that was basically just adolescent fantasies about my favorite characters falling madly in love & their love conquering every obstacle they faced. This idea has been a huge part of who I am and how I relate to the world for so long.
There were SO MANY TIMES when it seemed like this day would never come for me. A combination of abuse & being stuck & complicated poly things. But on a number of occasions I resigned myself, sometimes willingly, sometimes unwillingly, to the fact that this day would never come. And I told myself I had made peace with it. Told myself that marriage was Bad, Actually since it had a lot to do with patriarchal & capitalist property relations, and was a vehicle for exploitation & abuse. I just didn't need it anymore, I told myself.
And then i met vir.
Well, re-met. Violet & I dated online five years beforehand. It was complicated. We were both trapped in abusive relationships. Our bond & chemistry were strong, but we didn't have the bandwidth or the tools to have a good relationship. But over time that changed. And when we finally met up in person, five years after we had first dated, the sparks flying between us would've been enough to light up the restaurant.
It's been over a year and a half since then. I've been wearing an eternity collar signifying my belonging to vir since August of last year. We've been living together since October of last year. Our first living situation together was turbulent for reasons that aren't worth getting into right now. We've been living together by ourselves since January of this year, and in spite of EVERYTHING about 2020, it's been pure bliss.
Suddenly, it was possible.
Suddenly, it wasn't just a dream, impossibly out of reach.
And then, about a month ago, it happened.
Our girlfriend (my Grammy) & her husband were visiting, and at this point we had talked about it enough that I was pretty sure ve was going to pop the question while they were visiting. I didn't know how or when. And despite having a pretty good idea it was coming, I was totally caught off guard when it happened.
We were minigolfing. (Don't worry, we were wearing masks & social distancing.) And we got to one of those mutli-level holes where you hit the ball in one hole and it pops out somewhere else. I lined up my shot, knocked it into the hole, and ran down the stairs to see where my ball came out. I was surprised & confused when a small white box popped out of the hole instead, followed by my ball. I literally said, "what???"
And then ve went down on one knee to retrieve the box. And raised it towards me. And started talking. And i gasped with happiness. And we didn't stay in the traditional pose for long because I threw myself onto my knees in front of vir. (Look, i'm a sub!) and ve asked me if I would do vir the honor of marrying vir, and I practically yelled (while sobbing) "yes!" We threw our arms around each other. I repeated, "yes!!!!" while clinging to vir, sobbing.
We pulled our masks down VERY briefly, to enjoy our first kiss as fiancees.
