I never thought I'd be living on the streets. This wasn't meant for me. But he took it away. All of it! All of it was stripped from me! I don't know what to believe anymore. I know nobody cares about me; nobody would care if I dropped dead right in front of them. I have nothing to live for, nothing that can save me from the demons that reign my soul. . .so why do I keep fighting them?
I remember it started on my third birthday, the day he showed up. He took me while I slept. I didn't know what it would all lead to, all I knew was that my home was no longer my safe place. It was Hell. I remember my innocence stripped from me the moment he stole my virginity. I remember my bones aching to no end, my broken body holding a weight no child should have to carry. I remember the abuse. An abuse too horrible to explain. I remember the starvation. The feeling of having nothing to keep your dead heart beating.
From the sexual abuse, the hard labor, and the whip flashing across my body, the feeling of hunger was the worst. It's the one thing that has never ended. I feel it every day, tearing through my body like a raging wildfire. I have tried to ignore it, tried to extinguish the flames, but then, it all got worse. Eggman showed up, infecting me with a virus I cannot get rid of, only making the flames rise higher and the fire burn hotter.
D.A.N.G.E.R is what Tails named it. I couldn't fight the urge to eat every second of the day. I tried so hard, but I couldn't win. The flames could be seen in my eyes, the emerald eyes that turned a bloodshot red, bloodlust rising in me until I couldn't control it anymore. I almost hurt my family, my friends, and most of all her. I almost killed the one my heart loves. So now, where does that leave me?
It leaves me on the streets, living like a rat, and spending every moment of my days knowing that what happened was all my fault. If only I was stronger, I could have beaten the monster controlling my brain, I could have saved her from the fate she suffered. I can still see her, lying in a hospital bed, bleeding profusely, the doctors working to save her life; the life I almost ended. In the end, she ended up having to take my blood to survive. It was all I could do to save her. I wish it was me who almost died that day. I would gladly give up my life now, knowing that this is all my fault. I can't blame anyone else for what I've done.
But still, she has part of me with her. A gift that I gave her, the ability to continue her life, even when I knew I would have to leave her to keep her safe. I hope that when I walk through the streets that she doesn't recognize my once radiant blue fur and shining emerald eyes. I hope when she sees my face that she doesn't try to help me, for maybe, D.A.N.G.E.R would rage back and kill her this time. I hope that she doesn't notice my specter-like appearance, something I use to keep others away from me. But something aches in my heart. I still love her and need her to be there when I close my eyes, because if I die without her by my side, it would be in vain. But as I look up to the snow filled field before me, I see something I wished I could have dreamed.
Her.
