*Cue recap montage*
Narrator: On the last chapter of When Heroes Unite, Jade arrives to face the Robo-Rooster, Scratch. After a few mishaps, he learned from him of Pi's predicament and disposes of Scratch with ease. Pi discovers another design flaw in the chips that allow him to communicate through nearby robots. Will this help our heroes in the long-run? Read on to find out!
*End montage as we fade out to Dottie Sue upside down adjacent to the door to Scratch's arena with a chagrined look on her face. Her right sandal is sitting on what is currently the floor of the cage*
Chapter 4: What's in it for the second guy? Jade Vs. Coconuts!
Sticks (Off-screen): ...And DON'T get me STARTED on the mailman!
*Jade (With Scratch's head on his shoulder), I. Sonic and I. Tails exit the door as it opens then closes and disappears. Jade notices Dottie Sue*
Dottie Sue: *Looks over at Jade* Sugar, next time ah'm trussed up like this, get rid of the free-movin' force field first!
*Cut to a side view of Jade and Dottie Sue. Jade is sporting an embarrassed look on his face*
Jade: Eheh, my bad. *Flips Dottie Sue right side up and changes his expression to quizzical as he rubs his chin as everyone gathers around the cage* Hm, that force field DOES look like a problem. Guess I'll have to take care of it next.
Scratch: WHOO-HOO! That's COCONUTS' arena! Why didn't you take HIM on first?
*A CGI grid-based blueprint of Coconuts materializes via transition as some light techno starts playing. The camera moves around the completed model during the following*
Jade (Voice-Over): Process of elimination. For starters, YOU should've been the one with the force field. You having a simplistic design, you seemed the easiest and least exciting to take on. This Coconuts guy, on the other hand, being designed as a monkey is just the opposite. I'm sure this doesn't matter under different circumstances, but being given Pi's battle data, your buddies are the heavy-hitters in this trio.
*The music stops as we transition back to the group. Scratch's head is now in Jade's hand*
Scratch: Wait, you mean you're taking on GROUNDER last!?
Jade: Apparently, he's got the most gadgets on him. Pi happens to have a similar arsenal which he's used in combinations of his techniques.
*Coconuts is heard laughing catching everyone's attention. I. Robotnik's theme plays as we cut to the monitor as Jade flies up to it. Scratch's head is now on top of his*
Coconuts: Well, I say you picked the short straw!
Jade: Do tell.
Coconuts: You're so smart, you can figure that out yourself! My battle stage is chock full of dangers, you'll be BEGGING me to take you and the Hedgehog to Doctor Robotnik! HAHAHAHAHA!
Jade: We'll see.
Scratch: OOHOO! *Looks down at Jade* He's just blowing hot air! No way he's tougher than Grounder!
*Coconuts' face starts going red*
Grounder: *Pushes Coconuts' image aside with a smile on his face* Gee, thanks, Scratch!
*Cut to the monitor's perspective. Jade is sporting a smug look on his face*
Jade: Don't let it get to your head, 'cause I'm comin' for it!
*Cut back to the monitor. An angry Coconuts pushes Grounder image away as he starts to actually steam*
Coconuts: WE'LL SEE WHO'S THE TOUGH GUY HERE! See me through that door and I'LL TAKE YOU DOWN! I WILL! I WILL! I WILL! *The monitor shuts off with the music changing to the mellow tune*
*Cut to Sticks as Jade descends right next to her*
Sticks: You don't seem like you're really into all of this.
Dottie Sue: *Cut to her placing her sandal back on her foot with a smirk on her face. I. Sonic and I. Tails standing left and right of her respectively* Oh, don't you fret none, sugar, give 'im a tough enough opponent an' he'll be runnin' on all cylinders like a tractor on nitro!
I. Sonic: Well, with what WE'VE seen him do, it might take some time. *Looks over at Dottie Sue with hearts floating around his head. He places his hand on the force field and leans on it with a smile on his face* So...What's your sign?
Dottie Sue: *She and I. Tails glare at I. Sonic* ..."Trespassers'll be shot on sight!"
*I. Sonic scoots away removing his hand from the forcefield, his smile changing to a sheepish smirk as the hearts crumble*
I. Tails: Ew, Sonic! You're getting all mushy on me again! *Walks up to I. Sonic and waves his hand in his face*
Jade (Off-screen): ...Yeah, you're coming with me!
Dottie Sue: Take the badger with ya! Iffen ah have to listen to one more conspiracy theory comin' outta her mouth right now, mah head's likely to explode!
*Cut to I. Sonic making his way over to Jade and Sticks*
Sticks: That's because of the tap water.
Jade: *Gives Sticks a "Say what?" look, regains his composure and starts walking over to the doorway to Coconuts' arena* ...Uh-huh...let's motor.
*Cut to a wide shot of everybody. A pretty upset-looking I. Tails walks up to I. Sonic as Sticks follows Jade off-screen*
I. Tails: Wait, Sonic, what about ME!?
I. Sonic: *Places his hand on I. Tails' shoulder* Sorry, keed, but somebody's gotta keep her company.
Jade (Off-screen again): Vominose, Hedgehog!
I. Sonic: *Starts running in place with a loopty-loop and runs into the opened door which closes behind our heroes all during the following* I'M UP, OVER AND GOOOONE!
*Cut to the inside of the tunnel. Jade and Sticks start running to catch up to I. Sonic*
Jade: *Looks up at the ceiling* This tunnel's longer than the one that lead to you. *Turns his head to Scratch's* What's the big idea, does this one have obstacles?
Scratch (Angrily): Why're you asking ME!? I didn't design this place, his parallel industrialistness did! You want the lay-out, ask hi- *Goes wall-eyed and starts sparking*
Pi (Faintly, through Scratch): Jade! Are you there!?
Sticks: WHAT THE!?
*Both stop*
Jade (Beaming): Pi! What've you got?
Pi: The signal cuts out up ahead, but as usual, you're spot-on with your assumptions. There's a group of "Badniks" up ahead.
Jade: *Sports a puzzled look* Quotation?
Pi: You'll see.
Sticks: *Points to Scratch* Don't those sparks hurt? *Switches to frustrated motions* And why the heck is the head of your opponent talking in a different voice!?
Jade: *Looks over at Sticks* I'll explain everything when we cut to the bad guys.
*Not a bad idea, Jade. Let's see what they're up to. Cue the music. Hmm, I. Robotnik is working on Dragon Fu*
I. Robotnik: Just a few more adjustments...*Sticks his upper half out of the console and shuts the casing* BEHOLD!
*Cut to Dragon Fu's face*
Dragon Fu (Japanese accent): Confusin say, "A clock broken by a hammer ends time in the eyes, a clock broken by the eyes ends time for the hammer!"
I. Robotnik (Delighted): Perfect! All I need is the Getupandgodulator and he'll be mobile!
*Cut to M. Robotnik standing next to Pi*
M. Robotnik: Don't forget, boopsey, if it breaks during one of his fights, it's all your fault! *Looks over at Pi* So, who's this ya got over here?
Pi: My name is E-3000 Pi. The variation of your son you saw in the monitor with the giant "L" on it created me as his ultimate weapon. However, being gifted with an A.I of 300, I felt that world domination just wasn't my thing. That's when I met the man...No, the dragon you've all unleashed upon this world.
M. Robotnik: That's just like my son, no matter which version of him exists, he never knows when his robots are gonna become a goody-two-shoes and make life miserable for us bad guys!
*Cut to a wide shot*
L. Eggman: *Ahem* We've captured him for-
M. Robotnik: This contraption's all the info I need, I'm just here visiting my good-for-nothing son!
U. Robotnik (Quizical): If I may be frank, madam, you sort of remind me of my OWN mother, it's almost eerie.
B. Eggman: ...You know, if these monitors weren't labled, I could swear some of you guys were the same person except one of you has a split personality.
U. Robotnik: *Smile* As handsome as our Satam Zone associate is, I can see where you could make that mistake otherwise.
S. Robotnik: This is why I don't contribute to these conversations very often.
L. Eggman: *Blows a whistle getting everybody's attention* We're going off topic again.
X. Eggman (Simultaneously as L. Eggman starts talking again): I didn't say anything!
L. Eggman: Improbable, I belive Jade is on his way to the next arena. What say you we adjourn this meeting and check in on him?
*Here-here, let's cut back to- aw, for the love of- we missed the badnik fight! Doors open, everybody walks in*
Jade: I'm rather impressed with you two. My Sonic can't go three minutes with an expert Doragonken practitioner without a couple of bruises.
I. Sonic: Sounds like YOURS might not be as fast as me.
Jade: *Shakes his head* Mm-mm, nah, he's just a little bit more about brute force is all.
A familiar voice is heard off-screen: I heard that!
*Cut to the team's perspective and indeed, L. Sonic is standing at a nearby stream. Cut to a wide shot of everybody. Jade is sporting a delighted look as the door shuts behind them*
Jade: Hey, look who's here! Mister- *Face droops to an annoyed expression* Screw it, let's cut to the chase. What the hell's going on here!?
L. Sonic: *Gestures the team to his left and starts walking* After that weird rainbow ate you, Yaku showed up with a group who call themselves the "Seven Overlords of the Brotherhood Of Conquest".
Jade: "Brotherhood of Conquest"? I think "Bureau Of INTERDENOMINATIONAL Conquest" makes more sense. And rolls better off the tongue. I mean, I get that his main group is called the Brotherhood of the Black Dragon, but really- *Notices L. Sonic giving him a "Please pay attention" look* ...Eheh, proceed.
L. Sonic: Anyway, when he was passing the Emeralds around, they went on about their plans. Knuckles tried to stop them, but one of them smashed the Master Emerald before he should do anything.
Jade: Natch.
L. Sonic: The last thing I remember when Angle Island was getting swallowed up by another portal was whanging my head on a nearby tree. I woke up here in this weird greenhouse.
*Everyone stops momentarily at the following*
A strange laugh fills the air (Almost sounds like a gravelly version of Amy's voice in a menacing tone): Nyuk-nyuk-nyuk-nyuk...
Jade (Recovering from that strange laughter): ...I guess Eggman's cut in this is our home multiverse.
L. Sonic: I wouldn't doubt THAT! What IS Baldy Mc. Nosehair's role in all of this?
I. Sonic: HAHAHAHA! *Regains his composure* Sorry.
*Moments later, our heroes make it to the opening where Jade Man and Cryfecta are being held*
Jade: ...And that's when we bumpped into you.
L. Sonic: Well, I'm glad to see you're okay.
*Cut to Jade Man and Cryfecta*
Cryfecta: It's about time you guys showed up!
Jade: And just as convenient.
*Cut to behind L. Sonic. Jade turns to Sticks and I. Sonic. Scratch starts whistling*
I. Sonic: What're you talking about? Sure, it was a little slow for my taste, but we found them, didn't we?
Jade: Yeah, but one thing bothered me about my Sonic's story.
Sticks: And that would be?
Jade: *Sports a slightly angry look while pointing at L. Sonic as we cut to a close-up of the latter's face in the foreground with his eyes closed* There isn't a single tree anywhere NEAR the Master Emerald's altar!
*L. Sonic opens his eyes revealing them to be swirly as he gives a smirk. Cut to him walking over to the Eel pool*
L. Sonic: I warned Lady Junko you'd point that out. *Turns back to the rest of our heroes* But she simply said it was a means of planting the seeds of despair!
*Cut to L. Sonic's perspective. Jade looks up at Scratch with a "Really, dude?" look in his eyes*
Jade: ...*Points to Scratch* You knew about this.
Scratch: Yeah? So what if I did? *Smiles* Like I was gonna tell YOU! BA-HA HA-HAAAA!
Jade: *Slowly looks back at L. Sonic* Look, whatever, I'll just use the- Oh, hell, he's got an eel!
L. Sonic (In a slightly creepy tone): Now to add the suplaments!
*Cut to a side shot of our heroes*
Sticks: *Jumps in front of Jade brandishing her boomerang* Oh no you don't! *Shrill* Put that down or- *L. Sonic throws the eel at her making her shake from the voltage dropping her boomerang* I-I-I-I SH-SH-SHOULD'VE S-S-STAYED IN THE M-MA-A-A-AIN AREA-A-A-A-A-A! *Falls into the pool.
Jade: Holy crap! *Puts Scratch down and dives in after Sticks*
I. Soinc (Mad as hell): You've had it, handsome! Nobody does that to a cute girl and gets away with it on MY watch! *Gets ready to run* It's time to juice!
L. Sonic: Catch me if you can! *Runs off*
I. Sonic: Up, over and GONE! *Persues L. Sonic*
Scratch (Whining): He-hey, what about me!?
*Jade and Sticks emerge out of the pool. Jade picks eels off Sticks and himself*
Jade: You okay?
Sticks: *Coughs out some water* I'll be fine once the feeling in my legs comes back.
Jade: That's good...*Looks over at Scratch* Where're the Sonics?
Coconuts' voice: You should be more concerned where I am, Chiro-Punk! *Lands in front of Jade and Sticks* HAHAHAHA!
Jade: ...Huh, almost forgot about you.
*Cut to Jade's perspective*
Coconuts: Oh yeah? *Smiles while shaking his fist* Well, YOU'RE about to get the take-down you won't soon forget!
*Cut to a wide shot of the area*
Jade: *Stands up with a sigh* Don't tell me, this fight is going to be a basic game of search and destroy. I go somewhere in this jungle *Mutters "While looking for my Sonic" under his breath* and once the counter hits zero, we try to take each other out, right?
*Cut to a side shot of Jade and Coconuts*
Coconuts: Uh...Yeah, that's pretty much- *Starts flailing his arms in anger* STOP DOING THAT! *Pulls out a remote and presses the button. A monitor lowers in front of Jade Man and Cryfecta with the number 100 on it* You've got one hour to prepare for your doom!
Jade: You certainly do. *Picks up Scratch and Sticks* You two stay here! *Runs off*
Cryfecta and Jade Man (Agrivated): UM, DUH!?
*Moments later, Sticks is walking right behind Jade who had now mounted Scratch's head on a stick which he tied to his waist*
Jade: Okay, we've got about three minutes to go and no sign of the-
I. Sonic: *Appears before Jade* You rang?
Jade: ...The hell took you so long? Look, thanks for taking the initiative and tracking down my Sonic for me. But when you do-
*A Doberman Pinscher in a military general's outfit jumps out of the bushes and pins Jade down*
Scratch (Upon impact): OOHOO! *Passes out*
Doberman: YOU! IF YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHERE THIS DOME CAME FROM, YOU'D BETTER SAY SO RIGHT NOW OR I WILL COURT MARSHAL YOU SO HARD, IT'LL MAKE YOUR HEAD SPIN!
Jade (Seemingly unphased): ...*Relaxes his face* ...Yeaaaah, I'm gonna have to ask John Ramb-Old here to vacate my personal space before he gets a 3-pronged Dragon's Tail to the gut.
I. Sonic: *Holds his hand in a stop position. The doberman is looking at him* Stand down, Serge, he's a bud!
Serge (Happily): *Looks back down at Jade* Well, why didn't you say so? *Stands up then helps Jade to his feet with Sticks' help. He then proceeds to shaking Jade's hand* Sergeant Doberman, any friend of Sonic the Hedgehog's is a friend of mine!
Jade: *Lets go of Serge's hand and dusts himself off* That's more like it. *Turns to I. Sonic with a stern look in his eyes* As I was saying before your friend here interrupted me, once you find MY
Sonic, bind him in whatever you can find and come find me. *Looks up at the clock as I. Sonic, Serge and Sticks leave. Cut to his perspective to see the clock counting down to one minute and thirty seconds. Cut back to him* Damn, barely enough time to make my last couple of preparations. *Gets ready to move on but is stopped by the following*
There's that laugh again: Nyuk-nyuk-nyuk-nyuk! GYAH-GYAH-GYAH-GYAH! *The laugh's owner jumps out of the foliage in front of Jade. She appears to be a hedgehog that looks almost like Amy except with the right side of her body all white and pleasant-looking while the left was all black with with that side of the dress having red spikes on the skirt and a spiked sholder pad. Her headband seems to follow the same pattern as well as her sunglasses, one side being normal with a white frame and the other menacing with a strange black squiggle in the center of the lense the left side of her face seems to have a pointed, toothy smirk painted on it. She's holding a hammer with a similar pattern* You're not going anywhere!
*Cut to a wide shot of both of them*
Jade (Disturbed): *Sports an uneasy look on his face* Oh dear God, I think the local water's done something to me. *Expression changes to worried* Amy, is that you!?
*Cut to Jade's perspective*
Monorose: Who the hell is Amy? *Points her hammer at Jade* My name's Monorose! Lady Junko sent me to personally deal with you!
*Cut to Monorose's perspective*
Jade (Annoyed): *Eyelids and ears lower* I'm gonna have a loooong talk with this Junko bitch, I'll tell you THAT much!
*Cut back to Jade's perspective*
Monorose: *Gets ready to attack* Don't worry, you won't GET that far! *Charges towards Jade* YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
*Cut back to a wide shot where Jade jumps up and gets ready to kick*
Jade: *Kicks Monorose in the back, screaming the folling in a high-pitch* HEEEE-YAI! *Monorose falls to the ground, dropping her hammer. She laughs as he recovers. Cut to a barely obscure Jade in the foreground. Monorose turns to him and starts charging again. She manages to knock him into a nearby tree. Cut to him standing up* Okay. *Shakes and rubs his head* Now that we've both gotten our free shots out of the way...*Gets into a fighting stance as we get an extreme close up on his eyes* Let's have some REAL fun! *Takes flight and lunges towards Monorose*
*The two begin to fight with each getting a good shot or three in with each block made by Jade who sweeps the leg as Monorose jumps into the air about to smash him with her hammer. Jade rolls out of the way and rams into her, knocking the hammer out of her hand*
Monorose: GYAH! *Falls into the nearby river*
Jade (Concerned): *Runs over to Monorose and pulls her out of the water* Amy, I know you're in there! Whatever happened to you, you have to fight it! *Gets Monorose onto dry land and starts shaking his fist while looking at the river. She crawls over to her hammer adjusting her sunglasses during the following* I swear, Amy, whatever happened to you, I'll undo it...*Relaxes his hand and changes his expression to quizzical* Just as soon as I find out what DID happen to you.
Monorose: *Grabs her hammer, using it to lift herself up* Nyuk nyuk nyuk...
Jade: *Turns around* Huh?
*Cut to Jade in the foreground again as Monorose gets on her feet*
Monorose (Angrily): Did you have a brain fart or do I need to clean those enormous ears of yours? *Turns to Jade in a close-up, her face running revealing it to be exactly like Amy's* THERE'S NO AMY HERE! *Cut to a wide shot of both of them as Jade gets up off his knee* And now, thanks to you, I've gotta go redo my make-up! *Turns to the direction behind her and leaps away* Have fun with the monkey!
Jade: *Steps up to her direction waving his hands* AMY! *The buzzer goes off, catching him off guard and waking Scratch* Aw, son of a...
Scratch: BA-HA HA-HAAAA! You didn't have time to do anything, did you!?
Jade: *Gets into a fighting stance with a serious look on his face* Ye of little brains...
Scratch: *Looks to his left* OOHOO! COCONUTS! OVER HERE!
*Jade blocks an axe kick from Coconuts who runs away*
Jade: *Turns and faces the direction Coconuts ran off in* Hmph, y'see? I've got all the preparation I need!
Scratch: *Looks around and stops when he sees Coconuts behind them* Are you prepared for THIS!?
Coconuts (Angered): *Appears behind Jade from a blur and karate chops the stick off of Jade's back from the base of Scratch's neck. Jade's ponytails fall off as he grabs Scratch. Cut to a reverse shot. Jade is sporting a "What just happened?" look on his face* STOP GIVING ME AWAY! STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP IIIIIIT!
Jade (Slightly jarred): ...What do you know? You figured it out on the second try! *Removes his headband and shakes his hair down. Loose strands fall out of what remains*
Scratch: You have to admit, that was pretty clever...And you got rid of those stupid toilet brushes that were growing out of his head!
*Cut to Scratch and Coconuts' perspective of Jade from behind*
Jade: *Reties his headband* That's cool...*Turns around clenching his fists with a "Now you're in for it" expression on his face* I was getting sick of managing those things anyway!
*Fade out and back in to some visuals of the next chapter*
L. Sonic (Voice-Over): Wow, what happened? Wait, now I remember!
Jade (Voice-Over): This is starting to get interesting. Yaku, what are you planning this time?
Dottie Sue (Voice-Over): JUST BEAT THIS LAST DUDE AND GET ME OUTTA THIS DAD BLASTED CAGE!
Grounder (Voice-Over): Good luck with that, Von Loser! HAHAHAHA!
Jade (Voice-Over): When next Heroes Unite! Finally some answers! I don't know what the third guy is even supposed to be! Jade Vs. Grounder, round 1! It all comes together!
