*Cue Recap Montage*
Narrator: On the least When Heroes Unite, Jade and Co. entered the Improbable Zone where they meet the local counterparts of Sonic and Tails. After being tricked by Momma Rototnik and a strange-looking boy named Bokkun, Jade and the others make their way to Improbable Robotnik's fortress with the local twosome in tow only to be stopped in their tracks by the Super Special Sonic Search and Smash Squad who have another friend of Jade's held hostage. Now he' on his way to the first major battle in his quest home.
*End montage and fade out to a door*
Chapter 3: Who goes first? The Chicken of the Eggman! Jade Vs. Scratch!
*The doors whoosh open as Jade exits them. Jade looks up in anger*
Scratch: BA HA HA HAAAA! About time you made it here! *Cut to Jade's view of him wearing his gi with his arms folded and a smug look on his face. A series of walls can be seen around him rising and retracting. Behind him is a pillar with a big switch on it and I. Sonic and I. Tails at the top*
Jade: Well THIS looks like fun...
Scratch: BA HAAA! What took you so long?
*Cut to Jade*
Jade: The Writer was experiencing technical difficulties. *Folds his arms with his eyelids lowered* So, what's this I'm lookin' at, your garden-variety whack-a-wall room? *Spreads out his right hand as he tilts his head to that shoulder with a smirk on his face* I can predict over 2,569 possible patterns with these things. *Tilts his head upright, places his left hand on his hip in a fist and points to Scratch* Hand THAT'S without listening to the gears grinding to make them!
*Cut to an aerial shot of the arena*
Scratch: Oh yeah, smart guy? Go ahead and show me a couple!
Jade: Don't say I didn't warn you, Gizzard-Gears! *Cut to a large area in front of him* Dottie Sue, if you can see OR hear this, you're as good as free! This first one's a smiple hop skip and jump. *Zig-zags forward with the mentioned motions. A circular groove forms around him* The trickier ones are a little flashier, but effective. *Getst ready to slide* This one starts with a slide to the le- *The groove pops out with a spring attached to the bottom of the area he was standing on* HAVE MERCY! *Cut to another area as he falls through the ground. A splash of water leaves the spot and retracts* A pool of water with a holographic cap over it...THAT'S a new one. Oh crap, there's a shark in here! *Various collisions are heard before the shark flies out of the pool and starts flopping away badly beaten*
Scratch: *Cut to him watching the shark flopping away* WOOHOO! HEY! Just where do you think YOU'RE going!?
Shark (Angrily): *Turns around to Scratch and growls* DIS GIG AIN'T WOITH TWO MOBIUMS AN HOUR! *Points in Jade's direction* 'Specially if I get freaks like DAT guy for lunch! *Leaves*
*Scratch looks over at Jade*
Jade: Okay, so the downtime made me a little bit lackadaisical. *Cut to Jade ringing out his hair with an annoyed look on his face* But now that I've had the wind knocked out of me and replaced with common sense, whatsay we get this little contest of yours out of the wa- *A wall launches him into the air via groin shot* OH MAMA! *Lands in yet another area. This time, the circle glows bright red* ...Aw Hell...*A massive flame shoots up from the ground* AGH! *The flame tower disappears leaving Jade badly charred* ...That's a little dryer than I needed to be... *Shakes off the soot*
Scratch: *Cut to him* Get the picture now, green dolt? If you have time to talk, you have time to move! BA HA HA HAAAA!
*Cut to a close-up of Jade from the right with a grimace on his face*
Jade (Thinking): *Jumps away from the fire trap and starts moving. Along with moving, he begins smashing various walls. The cameras cut to areas appropriately* He's right, between the walls and these stupid traps, I have about 4.38 seconds to react. *Cut to a close-up of his eyes which near the end of the following, proceed to softly glow white* I'll have to use my Dragon Sight to get my bearings here. *Takes flight. Cut to his vision. The area is in negative lighting* ...Hmmm...The trap areas seem to have an unnessecary circumference of 40 feet. Hmm? Wait, theres a couple of square areas here...And that bastard's standing on one! Gotcha...*Lands on one of the square areas. His eyes stop glowing as he proceeds to crouch down slightly with his left hand out behind him in a chopping position at his waist and his right pointed at Scratch staight out but higher than his head as if it were bearing claws*
*Cut to Scratch from the neck-up*
Scratch: OOH! YOU FOUND ONE OF THE SAFE SPOTS!? *His eyes spin momentarily as sparks shoot out of his head* Of course you did. *Angrily points at Jade* YOU used a technique exclusive to Dragon Keepers, cheater!
*Cut back to Jade*
Jade: *Drops his fighting stance and stands up straight* ...And YOU know what a Dragon Keeper is because...? *Scratch jumps into the air performing an uppercut, a flip with his legs tucked in as if sitting on his feet, a scissor kick, a body twist and finally, a two-handed spinning chop before landing in front of him nearly missing him with his right knee* ...Wait a minute, you just performed the Iron Dragon. That's Pi's favorite combo! *Shakes his head* No, I shouldn't be surprised, MY Eggman has enough Doragonken data to choke an E-1000.
*Cut to a side-view of both of them*
Scratch: Well THIS should surprise you; Through a joint project MY Doctor Robotnik implanted a chip that gives me direct access to that goodnik's data.
Jade: *Sports a relaxed look* Really...
Scratch: Yes, really! He's strapped to a chair right now that feeds his frequency to the chip!
*Cut to Jade who crosses his arms, hangs his head, closes his eyes and smirks*
Jade: Heh, well then...Thank you.
*Cut to Scratch who places his fists on his hips with a prideful look on his face*
Scratch: You're welcome! BA HA HA HAAAA! *Thinks about what was just said and looks down at Jade, his face now sporting a worried look* Uh...For what, exactly are you welcome for?
*Cut back to Jade*
Jade: *Looks up at Scratch with a quick close-up of his face* For simultaneously busting your superiors and giving me incentive to do stuff like THIS! *Cut to a wide shot of everybody as he begins rapidly flapping his wings creating a dust cloud which turns in to a tornado. He then performs a loud clap that competely obliterates the tornado revealing the ground to be a floor where the safe spots, the wall mechanisms and trap spots are. The floor is completely metalic with the Eggman emblem in the center of the trap areas*
Scratch: HEY! THIS IS DOCTOR ROBOTNIK'S LEVEL OF CHEATING! *His knees begin to shake with his hands up to his face* And that scares me-he!
Jade: *Goes into his fighting stance with an angry look on his face* Oh, you ain't SEEN scary yet, Cords-on Bleu!
*Cut to I. Sonic and I. Tails*
I. Tails: Way cool!
I. Sonic: Yeah, who'd think that a snail's pace fight like this could get THIS exciting? *Places the back of his right palm next to the left of his mouth and leans toward I. Tails* Especially when it's against someone like SCRATCH!
Scratch: I HEARD THAT! *Cut back to the battlefield as he spreads his legs and has both hands in a chopping position* Alright, so you know where not to step, big deal!
*The two begin fighting to some action music. They block each other's moves as fast as they can deliver them. Cut to an aerial view of the fight on a monitor in I. Robotnik's fortress. Pan out as the music changes to I. Robotnik's theme. Cut to I. Robotnik. A series of monitors each displaying a member of L. Eggman's group around I. Robotnik grumbling at the first monitor*
L. Eggman: This is what I was hoping to prevent from happening so soon. But now that he knows, I advise you all to step up your defenses. *I. Robotnik turns to his monitor* We're all awre that no matter which version, Sonic is just as formidable an opponent, but unlike him, Jade is nigh-omnicient and nigh-omnipotent, meaning he can overpower anything you can throw at him and outsmart even a supercomputer.
X. Eggman: In other words, he's practially a demi-god, right?
L. Eggman: Remove "Practically" and you'd be right on the money.
U. Robotnik: I must admit this concerns me. Especially since unlike the rest of you, I've dealt with his father. *Smiles while making a triangle with his hands* Fortunately for me AND our goals, that means I'll be better prepared for him than the rest of you.
L. Eggman: Which is good, since yours is the dimension that contains...It.
S. Robotnik: So long as everything goes to plan, we'll have our army and the multiverse!
B. Eggman: Um...Question, am I the only one who heard the words "Formidable" "Supercomputer" and "DEMI-GOD" in this conversation!?
S. Robotnik: I've had enough of your WHINING!
B. Eggman: *Slams his fist on his table* I'M NOT WHINING! It's just that everytime we've been talking about this guy, even YOU have to admit that he sounds more dynamite by the minute! And that's saying something considering that I have a version of him in MY dimension and HE'S tough enough as is without all these "Ancient Powers" THIS one supposedly has!
*Cut to a frontal shot of I. Robotnik*
I. Robotnik: HOGWASH! *The monitors follow him as he walks over to the Data Spire* He has to make it to me to get this, all I need to do is keep him away from the real one.
B. Eggman: Ah, so you've installed one of my Decoy Spires? New from Eggman Industries, the very company that provided you that...Ugh, "Blunderdome". I still think "Egg Stadium" has a better ring to it!
I. Robotnik: *Grins at B. Eggman* I've taken the liberty to test your invention and placed the real one to a special place I've picked out for the final showdown.
B. Eggman: *Hears some dopey laughter to the right* What's with the new guy?
*Cut to Pi where a look-alike of I. Robotnik, sporting a moronic look on his face stands adjacent to him clapping his hands*
S(tupid). I. Robtnik? (Goofy voice): Oho! Hey mister Otter, why do you have such a silly haircut?
Pi: ...Because your runaway tutu ate my barber before he could finish.
S. I. Robotnik: *Waves his right index finger* Ooh, naughty, naughty tutu! *Laughing*
Pi: *Looks over at the group and smirks* I am enjoying myself right now.
*Cut back over to Pi's perspective*
L. Eggman: I'm sure you are...
I. Robotnik (Embarrassed): Ignore him, I...*Blushes while looking away* Had an accident with my Cloning Ray. I shot him with the Stupid Ray so he'd be less trouble. *Rubs his temples* I was going to shoot him with the Robot-Transemogrifyer Ray before this meeting.
S. Robotnik: I'm surrounded by incompetence...
L. Eggman: I personally once thought having a group of me planning world domination wouldn't be THIS exhausting!
M. Robotnik (Off-screen): SONNY!
*Pan over to M. Robotnik and Bokkun. Bokkun flies over to the monitors*
I. Robotnik: M-MOMMA!
*Cut to a wide shot of everyone. Dragon Fu is present in the shot*
Pi: I take back my earlier statement, it just got more entertaining.
L. Eggman: *Facepalms himself with a sigh* Of course it did...
M. Robotnik: *Steps over to I. Robotnik* Talk amongst yourselves, boys, I need a word with my No-Goodnik of a son!
*Bokkun and the monitors gather around Pi as M. Robotnik grabs I. Robotnik's...Ear...Area and begins a rather unpleasent conversation with him. S. I. Robotnik wanders off laughing*
X. Eggman: Before we continue, Bokkun, did you deliver the message?
*Cut to Bokkun floating in front of Pi*
Bokkun: Sure did, Doctor! *Mimics Jade's motions from when the bomb he gave him exploded* You should've seen the look on his face when he was all "Is this thing beeping?" Then BOOM! HAHAHAHAHA!
Pi (Flustered): DOWN IN FRONT!
Bokkun: *Cut to him turning around to Pi pulling his right lower eyelid down and sticking out his tongue* NYAH!
X. Eggman: *Ahem* Excellent work. *Starts working the console in front of him* Next I'm sending you to the Satam Zone so you can be ready with THAT one.
*Bokkun floats off to a portal that had just arrived M. Robotnik is seen brandishing a rolling pin and waving it around*
M. Robotnik: ...SO IF IT GETS DAMAGED IN ONE OF THOSE FIGHTS, DON'T COME CRYIN' TO ME! *Let's got of his...Ear*
I. Robotnik: Yes, mommy...*Rubs the side of his head and makes his way back to the group*
X. Eggman (Surprised): Shoot, I accidentally sent him somewhere in the forest!
S. Robotnik: *Sigh* I'll send Snively to pick him up...
Snively (Off-screen, disgruntled): On my way, sir...*Angrily mutters "I guess I'll have to have my lunch on the go again" as his voice fades*
B. Eggman: ...I'm going back over the bat fighting the robo-rooster. *His monitor goes black*
*That's not a bad idea, B. Eggman. Let's change the music to something a little straining while we're at it...Looks like Scratch is winded, Jade's a little sweaty and all of the walls are broken*
Jade: *Pant* *Pant* You're pretty well-built.
*Cut to behind Jade*
Scratch: WHOO-HOO...! HOOOOOOO! *Looks at himself* Hey, you're right! I haven't lost a gear yet! *Stands up straight looking at his right fist as he smiles and flexes his arm. During the following, what appears to be a bicep buldges in a cartoonish manner* The chip must make me indestructible!
Jade: *Cut to him flolding his arms with his right brow dropped with a smirk* Either that, or the Woofer Bomb I implanted in you hasn't gone off yet.
Scratch: *Cut to him looking over at Jade with his expression changing to one of worry* The what?
*Disolve to a pair of silhouettes of the combatants*
Jade (Voice-Over): I guess you weren't programmed with knowledge of Zoology. *Arrows begin to flash and point at the Jade silhouette's ears* You see, my good foe, these ears aren't exactly here to frame my face, we bats are experts in sound. *The arrows are replaced with soundwave-like patterns which through the following, disappear as the Jade Silhouette begins performing various attack-like motions on the Scratch silhouette* With that, I decided to incorperate it into my vast arsenal of abilities and learn the art of Sonokinesis. *A cyan circle forms within the craw of the Srcatch silhouette as the Jade one stops moving* One technique I've perfected with his power is the aforementioned Woofer Bomb which I formed within your clanky, metal body. Either you wind up detonating it with a false move or I do it for you. *Fade back to Jade walking away from Scratch getting ready to snap his fingers* Care the test that indestructiblity theory of yours? *Cut to a frontal view of him with a bored look on his face* For those of you reading at home who feel cheated on how much of this fight you read, we'll try to make up for it in the next chapter. *Snaps his fingers*
Scratch: NOOOO-HO-HOOOOOOOOOO! *Explodes as a fanfare blasts in the air*
Jade (Bored): *Sigh-groan* God, I hate it when I have to end these kinds of fights anti-climactically.
*Some comedic music starts playing*
I. Sonic: Hey! Did you forget something? *Jade looks over at his direction as we cut to him and I. Tails still on the rug with his arms folded* I'm waiiiitiiiing!
Jade: Oh, right. *Cut to him flying to the pedestal and pulling the switch* Sorry about that.
*I. Sonic and I. Tails jump down to Jade*
I. Sonic: *Smiles* Think nothin' of it, I'm just glad to finally get my feet free from that rug. *His expression changes to serious as he points at Jade* Normally, I can take that tin can out with the trash in a flash!
*The sound of Scratch screaming increasingly loud*
Jade: *Looks over at the door opening* Well, right now, they're a little out of your league. *Pulls out a burlap sack from his jacket as Scratch's head lands on his right palm as it groans* Speaking of sanitation, you mind collecting his pieces before we leave?
I. Sonic: *Grabs the sack and starts reving up with a smile* I'M UP, OVER *Darts off* AND GOOOOONE!
Jade: *Looks at Scratch's head* Alas, poor...*Looks down at I. Tails with a quizical look on his face* Line.
I. Tails: Scratch.
Jade: *Looks back at Scratch's head* Alas, poor Scratch! *Smirk* I knew how to beat him, Miles.
Scratch (Angrily, dazed): *Glares at Jade* OH, SHUT UP! *Goes wall-eyed again surprising Jade*
*Let's get some dramatic music going*
Pi (Through Scratch, faint): -ade! Jade- *Static* at- *Skip* ou? *Static*
Jade: *Places Scratch's head in both hands with a worried look on his face* PI! I'm right here, man!
Pi: *Static* chip- *Skip* found *Static* sign flaw.
Jade: Stay with me! Where ARE you!? What the hell happened!? How did you and Dottie Sue get captured like this!? Did anything happen with the Emeralds!? WHAT HAPPENED TO EVERYBODY!?
*Cut to Jade's view of Scratch's head*
Pi: I'm sorry, but- *Static* signal- *Skip* weak! Try- *Static* amage the next guy *Static* badly before *Static*
*Cut to a wide shot of everybody. I. Sonic is now present, tying off the sack*
Jade: Pi? PI! *Tosses Scratches head to I. Tails as he turns around* Damn!
I. Sonic: Emeralds? Are you talking about CHAOS Emeralds!?
Jade: They probably work differently to the ones around here, but yeah. *Turns to the door* But that's not important right now. Let's wrap this chapter up.
*Disolve to a jungle-like area as they start their way to the door. Cryfecta and Jade Man are suspended in the force field over what looks like a pool of electric eels sitting back-to-back from each other. Jade Man looks angry*
Cryfecta: ...Kinda sucks winding up like this on your first day on the job huh?
Jade Man: We wouldn't be in this mess if you didn't trip me up! I almost had him beat!
Cryfecta: Whatevs, newbie...*Looks over at Jade Man* Tell ya what, when everything's said and done with this mission, we'll take a trip to the Unleashed Zone. The honeys are easy pickin's there. I'll even introduce you to a counterpart of that cute robot chick back in your world. Sound good?
Jade Man: *Mope* I don't think that's really my thing...Besides, I'm not exacly "Built" for something like THAT!
Cryfecta: *Turns back around* More for me, then.
Coconuts: *Jumps onto the force field in a red gi and starts banging on it* PIPE DOWN! I'M TRYING TO PSYCHE MYSELF UP FOR TAKIN' DOWN YOUR COUNTERPART! *Jumps to the frontmost part of the pool* Scratch may've failed to keep Sonic and Tails in their tracks thanks to that guy, but I'M not gonna let him beat me so easily! Come right through that door, you wingged palooka and we'll MONKEY AROUND! HOOHOOHAHAHAHA!
*Fade out*
Cryfecta: "Wingged palooka?" Really?
Coconuts: SHUT UP, WE'RE FADING OUT!
*Okay, what's to be expected next?*
Jade (Voice-Over): Alright, one down, two to go!
Sticks (Voice-Over): That monkey looked at me funny! I want a piece of the action this time!
Jade: The more the merrier, it looks like I'll need you and this Sonic for this one.
Coconuts (Voice-Over): You'll never win! Your tails are grass just like this oaf's hair! HAHAHAHAHA!
Jade: When next Heroes Unite! What's in it for the second guy? Jade Vs. Coconuts! It all comes together!
