*Finishing watching Secret of Nimh 2: Timmy to the Rescue*
... That was it? What a fuckload of God damn garbage. Well then, this time I'm reviewing a film NOT made by Don Bluth. He had no part in this and was made by MGM Studios. In fact, a sequel is downright asinine. Why now? As far as I know, this is a completely different story. I do know there is a sequel called Racso and the Rats of Nimh. Or something like that, I don't remember.
So let's journey to the world of Nimh and sorta...? Don Bluth? And see what went wrong. Which you'll find out very quickly is everything.
STORY
Our story begins with an abridged recap of the first film which is strange. If people have heard of seen The Secret of Nimh, why do you need a recap in the first place? It goes on to say while showing the original animation that the prophet Nicodemus had foretold that one of the sons of Jonathan Brisby will be chosen to save the rats of Nimh once more.
Uhm... prophet? Not really. One, he had no idea who Mrs. Brisby was until she arrived, and he never met the rest of the family. And if he was such a profit, how the hell did he not see himself getting crushed by a brick by Jenner? Pah, some prophet. I have no idea what this movie is talking about.
So we start the film proper and-Oh God. This animation is terrible! This looks like something out of a Saturday Morning Cartoon or something. Everything's all... bright and cheerful and eeugghh... I hate it. So much. They don't even match the designs by Don Bluth with the characters.
Anyways, Timmy and Martin are having a race by riding walnut shells and using rabbits as steeds. ... What the fuck am I watching right now? Is this really the Secret of Nimh? Whatever, Timmy finds a shortcut and gets trapped in a cage set up by the scientists of Nimh. Uhm, why are they searching for the rats? Shouldn't they have moved on?
Martin notices that Timmy is missing and has been caught. Due to Nimh's experiments, it boosts their intelligence and they escaped. A scientist with crazy hair named Dr. Valentine who has zero dialogue by the way, notices that the rats escaped. The Scientist with a Net, no really, that's what he's credited as, remarks that it's one of the rats from their facility and only they're smart enough to escape a trap they made.
I'm... not sure how you'd jump to that conclusion, but okay. Martin scolds Timmy about being a dumbass and says that Nicodemus should have chosen him to go to Thorn Valley and not Timmy. Uh, rewind. What? Nicodemus said that one of the SONS of Jonathan Brisby would go. Not just one. What the fuck?
Nicodemus: The sons of Jonathan Brisby will go to Thorn Valley and save the rats from Nimh once more. ... Eh, you know what? Screw the others. The kid who's not going to die yet is a good candidate. Oop, I see myself dying by a brick. Oh well. Better not do anything and follow fate. Nicodemus out.
I mean, what the fuck? So Jeremy the Crow voiced once again by Dom Deluise, Jesus, the guy cannot turn down a role, can he? He's Timmy's ride as Mrs. Brisby who has grey hair and wearing glasses wishes Timmy good lock.
... Uhm. No. One, she should not be that old. And two, she nearly had a fucking heart attack when she thought she lost her children. Plus, it was the rats fault that happened in the first place!
I think Mrs. Brisby would be like: "Oh hell no! After what happened last time and I risked my LIFE to save your sick ass? No. You're staying home, and they'll find someone else." But maybe that's just me. Martin gives Timmy his slingshot for protection and says that Martin's a good older brother and wishes him luck in staying with the family.
Yeah, after all, he just called you weak, worthless and a mistake chosen by the late Nicodemus, but nah. He's cool fam. ... Fucking kill me. Please.
Anyways, they're off and we see Thorn Valley... which looks like a giant tree. Huh? That's... that's not a bush or anything. And we start with a musicaaaaaaaaAAAAAHHHH!!! They're already throwing a parade and giving Timmy the key to the city by doing nothing! What the fuck is wrong with these people?!
"Hurray! You exist! Here's a bunch of our shit!" So after that craptacular musical number, Justin and Mr. Ages will be Timmy's tutors teaching him... er, something. I'm not even kidding.
Justin: We're going to train you, Timmy! Timmy: Train me for what? Justin: I'm not sure, but I'm sure we'll find out when we get to that!
I really wish I was making this up. That's the exchange in a nutshell. I hate it. I hate this movie. So we have a montage of Timmy almost getting hurt and killed numerous times and we have a scene ripped off, I mean, inspired by the Lion King. Justin says that Timmy must follow the prophecy, whatever it is just in case if he wants to make the people and his late father proud.
But Timmy doesn't want to be reminded of his father's achievements since they always make comparisons. But Justin's like: "Lol, whatever. Be your father, scrub." So it's official, Thorn Valley is a cult. I'm making this canon, and NO ONE CAN STOP ME!!!
... *cough*
Timmy wanders around town and see's a wooden statue in the plaza of Jonathan Brisby and I just have to ask. What makes this guy special? Yeah, he freed the rats and tried to get pass Dragon the Cat, but... what else did he do? He was just a guy. In fact, Mrs. Brisby didn't even know her husband's real importance until Nicodemus told her. But she still viewed him as her husband, not some God.
Dear Lord, this IS a cult! So Timmy sings a musical number about people giving him high expectations in being like his father, but wants to start his own legacy. It sounds nice in theory, but the kid can't sing. And plus, the main voice when Timmy's a teenager does sound familiar... How about this?
"Wax on. Wax off."
Yep, it's Ralph Macchio, AKA, Daniel-san, who voices Timmy from now on. And guess what? He can't sing worth a damn either...
So finally, Timmy get's taken on a mission to get some supplies for Thorn Valley and joins Justin and his team. Wait, I thought the point of Thorn Valley was to not to depend on human items? Why are they stealing stuff again? Timmy is positioned as the watch and given a whistle in case something's wrong.
As you can imagine, he's pissed off and breaks the whistle while he investigates on his own. There is something rummaging through the trash can and it's a female mouse named Jenny McBride. Unfortunately, they are spotted by the guard dog and are chased due to Timmy's incompetence. Justin and the group save their sorry asses and chew Timmy out, but makes a startling realization with Jenny. She is a rat who can read as well!
Which means, she was also experimented on in Nimh. They go back to Thorn Valley and Jenny explains that she escaped to see help since her mom and dad are still trapped-wait. If she managed to escape with no problems, why are the rest still trapped? Lazy writing? I think so. She reveals her identity as Mr. Ages and Justin are in shock. She is related to The Lost Six that supposedly died during the escape. Turns out, they never died!
Uh, BULLSHIT! Yes they did! That's why they're called the LOST Six! THEY ARE DEAD!!! I hate this movie! Jenny wants the rats of Thorn Valley to commence a rescue operation but they refuse and hold her and Timmy hostage. I'm not even kidding. Mr. Ages actually says this.
Mr. Ages: Goodnight you two, sorry for keeping you hostage!
What the flying fuck guys?! The excuse is that people will eventually figure out where Thorn Valley is and take the rats back to Nimh. Which is the biggest piece of bullshit ever. So Jenny, being the only competent one in the entire film, decides to go to Nimh anyways and save her parents and friends there.
Timmy, JUST NOW, asks her how she found the place to begin with and how she knew who Timmy was. She explains that she met a mouse there who mentioned going to Thorn Valley. Jenny: He said to go south by south by south.
... THE HELL DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?! That's the dumbest fucking thing I've ever heard! That doesn't even make any sense! What direction is that?! So, spoiler, it's Martin who is kidnapped. Timmy even mention JUST. NOW. That Martin has been missing for a couple of years and that he received a letter from his family.
WHEN THE HELL DID THIS HAPPEN!? What?! That's not something you casually say and brush over! So, rather than spend some time and search for his missing older brother, he spent all this time singing badly and stuffing himself with food! Fuck you Timmy! Fuck you! Worst Main Character... EVER!!!
Ugh... So Jenny and Timmy escape, why does he join? Because she's an attractive girl mouse and he wants DAT ASS. Also, I just realized, Jenny is not wearing pants. Huh. Weird. They fly onto some balloons and... uh... hello random romance? How are you? They almost kiss when they're attacked by a hawk. They survived and travel into the forest.
Timmy, remembering tales from his mother, oh yeah, remember her? Says that she was guided by The Great Owl. So they search until they stumble upon a caterpillar named Cecil, after getting past him, Timmy approaches and finds... It's Jeremy posing as the Great Owl? Huh???
So, turns out, Cecil and Jeremy are conmen now. As to what happened to the real Great Owl? He probably got arrested for being too creepy and is required never to be seen again. ... That, or he was too complex to draw, I dunno. But I'm going with my explanation. We have a musical number of Jeremy and Cecil conning animals with gold, jewelry and... an animal... credit card...
... I know what you're thinking. And no. I'm making that easy as shit joke. What I'm concerned is... where the shit did these animals find this stuff? And why do they have it? Oh, and random romance again with Timmy and Jenny. It's gone now. So Jeremy's disguise is blow and they head to Nimh.
Which, uh... looks like Castle Greyskull. I thought Nimh was just a research facility? Why does it look like an evil lair? Jeremy and Cecil stay behind because they want nothing to do with the research facility and heard what happened. So Timmy and Jenny are on their own. They enter and find a bunch of soldier rats wandering around. Uhm, okay?
Then they are encountered by Justin and his group. Wait, what? How the fuck did they get there before these two? Timmy volunteers in the rescue but Justin says to keep watch and Timmy ignores him and oh my GOD! WHAT IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE?!
So, shock of all shocks. They get caught. Nice going dumbass. You had ONE. JOB! So, they come face to face with Dr. Valentine and when all of a sudden... he starts to act like a dog? Yeah, I forgot to mention, when Jenny and Timmy enter, they find the rest of the scientists caged up and act like dogs.
And the real mastermind is... Martin? Who's voiced by Eric Idle? The fuck??? It's explained in song that Martin was captured and experimented by Dr. Valentine, not only did it make him smarter than ever, he also took over the entire facility and wants to wage war against Thorn Valley.
Yes. A small lone rat, took over a huge building. ... What even. Timmy refuses to join him and decides to imprison Timmy and take Jenny as his bride because... yes. Timmy and Jenny have a duet that seems strangely similar to An American Tail.
Cecil comes along and basically tells Timmy: "Eh, we fuck up sometimes." Seeing as that's a good enough pep talk, Timmy uses the key, oh yeah, I forgot he still has that, and unlocks the cage. ... Despite the fact he can squeeze through the bars and AAAAAA-
So, he rescues Jenny and defeats Martin by knocking him unconscious, the soldier rats go to Martin, clarifying where Thorn Valley is, and Timmy disguises his voice and tells them to go to the wrong direction. ... Okay, I'll admit. That is clever. But oh, no! The building starts to catch on fire after an electrical failure and Timmy and Jenny quickly confess their love for each other because sure, why not?
Timmy and Martin escape and time has passed as everyone hails Timmy as a hero. Also, Martin's good now. He has a bandage around his head, and in these kinds of movies, that's enough to make you good again. Then Mr. Ages says the prophecy was fulfilled and-wait a damn minute, what? THIS was the prophecy?
A jealous brother get's kidnapped and missing and starts to wage war against the rats of Nimh and kill Timmy? Kinda a self fulfilling prophecy, huh? Maybe if you didn't fucking build and hype up Timmy, none of this would have happened you fucking jackasses! So a statue is built next to Jonathan and no Mrs. Brisby statue?! Sacrilege! And the movie ends.
What a piece of fucking garbage! FUCK. THIS. MOVIE!!!
ANIMATION
Animation is terrible and also inconsistent. At times it seems janky and sometimes stutters a bit. Hell, most of the characters aren't even moving their lips or certain things aren't colored properly. But then again, this wasn't made by Don Bluth.
SOUNDS AND VOICES
Most are terrible, but Eric Idle goes batshit insane with his role and Dom Deluise as Jeremy is the only one to return. I'm also surprised that Mrs. Brisby's voice matches the original so well. Considering that the, er... original actress had depression and... uhm... I'm gonna stop there. The rest however? Garbage.
MUSIC
Too upbeat and cheery. And at times, corny as fuck. The lyrics to the songs are horrible.
FINAL THOUGHTS AND SCORE
The Secret of Nimh 2: Timmy to the Rescue is terrible and has no right to even exist. And why focus on Timmy? What did he do that warrants special treatment? Oh! Good job not dying by the way! Here, have a shitty movie! My final score is...
1/10
This is fucking terrible. Hell, Jenny does more than Timmy does! He's useless!
REWRITE
To be honest, I'm not sure how to do this one. I guess make Mrs. Brisby the main character again or at least as a mentor role to Timmy and actually have the family visit Thorn Valley. Oh, and introduce a new villain, maybe someone who holds the twisted ideals of Jenner or a fanatic of him and wants to carry on his evil legacy. I dunno, just throwing crap out there.
Am I done? Can I stop seeing crappy Don Bluth movies? I'm a good kobold.
Thank goodness! Someone who hates this movie just as much as I do. I remember once in high school, I rewatched it just to remind myself how bad it really was. Big mistake; that movie was so bad that I actually got a migraine!
Thank goodness! Someone who hates this movie just as much as I do. I remember once in high school, I
Ouch. Yeah, I think it did that to me when I had to recall this. I watched the WHOLE thing online and... wow. It's as bad as everyone says. Jesus this needs a huge rewrite, or just... not exist.
Ouch. Yeah, I think it did that to me when I had to recall this. I watched the WHOLE thing online an
