July 4th, 2016: Summer Break
Hey there. My name is Derek and I was just finished with my Senior year at Blue Ridge High School. While my 16 year old sister, Rachel was done with 11th Grade. We were watching a rerun of an old SpongeBob episode on Nickelodeon. The program went to the commercial break, a commercial came on saying, “Playstation All-Stars Battle Royale is re-releasing as an Extended Edition only on PlayStation 4, in stores only for seven weeks. It’s got new scenes and an alternate ending. Now available at EB Games.”
Since I realized that Rachel and I adored the original PlayStation All-Stars game, I asked my dad if he can drop Rachel and I off to our local EB Games store for us to buy the game. He said, "Yes."
The next morning our mom went to work, and dad took us to McDonald's for breakfast, then we arrived at the store and bought the game. Then he said to us, "If you two get bored you can come back and buy another game." I said, "Oh, okay." Meanwhile there was an usher who looked shocked with fear and asked us, “Did you guys just buy the Extended Edition of PlayStation All-Stars?" I said, "Yes, we did." He said to us, "What you are about to see will haunt you for life."
We left the store not believing him. Then we realized that the store was almost empty, which was strange for the time of day and week it was. Anyway, we had some time to kill so we drove around the city a bit. After driving around for a bit, we got home and booted up the game.
As usual, the “Sony Computer Entertainment presents…” text showed up, with a creepy rock guitar sound effect playing until it transitioned to a white screen. Something was very different about this intro. In fact, it was a whole different opening movie altogether. Basically in a nutshell, it was the 2nd opening from the anime “Higurashi No Naku Koro Ni”, but the characters from that anime were replaced with the PlayStation characters that were in the game. If you don't know what I'm talking about, it's on YouTube if you want to watch it. Anyway, me and Rachel started laughing because it felt so unfitting. Although seeing all the characters in an anime art style was pretty awesome.
After the, uh… interesting opening movie played, I got to the main menu and selected the Solo Mode. You're probably now expecting me to say that the menu colors were blood red instead of blue, and that everything was hyper-realistic and satanic and all that stereotypical Creepypasta bullcrap. Well, sorry to disappoint you, but they weren't. Everything looked and behaved completely normal. I went to the Character Selection screen and selected Sackboy, since that's pretty much the only character in this game I can use properly. Also due to the fact that he's one of my favorite PlayStation characters, along with Parappa The Rapper.
The cutscene for Sackboy's Story played. The first thing that freaked me out was that Sackboy actually spoke lines in this game, instead of the Narrator from LittleBigPlanet speaking for him. This was obviously something exclusive to the Extended Edition. Sackboy's voice was the same as Ecolo's voice from Puyo Puyo Tetris. You probably know who I'm talking about if you’ve ever played that game. Sackboy actually talking threw us off for a bit, but we quickly grew to like it.
Anyway, we took turns and did a couple of battles. The weird thing I noticed was that the amount of characters you fight was reduced. “Wow, they really missed some stages here…” I said. It then put me into a battle on some desert stage. I just thought it was a stage exclusive to the Extended Edition that I wasn't aware of. The enemy was a skeleton with a top hat and cane laying on the ground and I was confused. So was Rachel. The skeleton character did absolutely nothing when I hit it, it only took damage. A lot like how Sandbag from Super Smash Bros functions. I got Sackboy to Level 3 and defeated the skeleton in less than a minute. “Well, that was weird.” I said. “Must be a Training stage to prepare me for some big battle or something.” Then it showed the rival cutscene. Now, because I was playing as Sackboy, I already knew my rival character would be Big Daddy.
The scene played as normal, with Big Daddy and Little Sister walking up to Sackboy, with Little Sister saying: "Unzip him, Mr. B! Unzip him!” The music (if you can even call it that) playing in the background was different though. It sounded a lot like the freaky Jimi Hendrix guitar sound effects used in the warning message on a SEGA CD game if you insert it into a CD player, minus the woman's hilariously stern voice making it seem like the disc will blow up if you keep playing it. You can find this on YouTube if you want to listen to it.
Little Sister continued on. “Hey, look! I like him! So ready to unstuff!” For those who don't know, the original scene has Sackboy distracting and making friends with Little Sister by making a hopscotch game for her via his Popit. But that never happened… Sackboy just stood there like a deer in the headlights. A voice (Who I assumed was Big Daddy’s, even though he can't speak.) says, "Do it." The weird thing about the voice is that it was Kratos', but deeper. Little Sister went up to Sackboy and unzipped him. At this point, the camera focuses on Big Daddy as we hear an unzipping sound effect and Sackboy crying while yelling out: “STOP IT! YOU'RE HURTING ME!” Me and Rachel started to cry at this part.
After about 20 seconds of hearing Sackboy being tortured, Parappa, Ratchet and Clank, and Spike are shown running in. Big Daddy turns around and says to them, "You poor, selfish fools think you could defeat me? Well, you're WRONG! If you're looking for your little doll friend, he's right here." The four looked in horror at Sackboy's corpse as it lies on the floor as a mixture of stuffing and ice cream oozes out of his body. His eyes were now two big X’s. Big Daddy says, "As for you four, you shall DIE!"
Then out of nowhere, a battle started. Except it was a CPU-only team battle that I couldn't skip so we had no choice but to watch. I prayed that Big Daddy would be defeated. The freakiest thing I noticed about this battle was that the music playing was Marx's Theme from Kirby. Specifically the version from Super Smash Bros Brawl. Hell, the stage they were fighting on was the same one you battle Marx's Soul Form on in Kirby Super Star Ultra.
The battle only lasted for 2 minutes before Big Daddy defeated and zapped Parappa, Ratchet and Clank, and Spike with a big bolt of thunder, causing them to turn into dust. When this happened, Marx’s Soul Scream could be heard as they all got zapped, which really freaked me out. Then another cutscene played. Big Daddy is shown walking up to Kratos and says, "Looking for the man in the clown mask you met?" And he said, "Yes." He then asks if Kratos was really a god, and he says "No, I was never a god!" and he kills him with his drill, Mortal Kombat X style. My sister screamed at this part as I gasped. As the scene ended, it faded to black and showed white text on the black screen, saying: "One Month Later...". The strange thing is it was spoken by the French Narrator from SpongeBob SquarePants.
A funeral was being held for Sackboy, Parappa, Ratchet and Clank, Spike, and Kratos with the other characters who weren't killed (minus Big Daddy) mourning, with the song “Michishirube” from the anime Higurashi No Naku Koro Ni playing. The scene (and game) ends as the credits roll, with the song still playing. My sister Rachel and I were now sobbing loudly by seeing our favorite PlayStation characters killed like that.
We told the employees at EB Games about the game and what we saw. What did they do? They took all the copies of the Extended Edition of the game, took them outside behind the store, and destroyed the game discs with a hammer. After that, they apologized to us for any inconvenience. Then I decided for us to get a different game called Touhou: Urban Legend in Limbo and we began to feel better when we began to play the game. If you find an advertisement for PlayStation All-Stars Battle Royale: Extended Edition, don't buy it.