This was a story I thought of while listening to the radio.
Amazing that I say I don't care for music, but it inspires my writing.
Listen to Three Wooden Crosses. It is what inspired this song.
In the same universe as Chasing Pavements and Ricky and Toby, but you don't have to read either of those. If you read anything I ever write, read this. I cried writing it, which is why my writing sucks more than usual.
FIVE YEAR AGO
I adjusted my jacket, looking around the apartment. Whoever I was with, he was loaded. "So how did you get into the profession?" He asked, making a drink. I took it and sipped. It tasted sweet, like strawberries. The wolf looked me over, not hungrily, his silverish fur was clean, and he wore a nice suit. The fact he was with me was strange. He didn't look the type to pick up a prostitute, nor did he look like he would have a thing for girly boys.
"It was my manager. I came to New York to be a singer. You know, it has more clubs than any other city in America, atleast that was what I heard. My manager heard me sing and he asked to be, you know, my manager, and when I said yes, we did a couple of gigs... Then he told me he had a friend in a record company, and if I wanted to make a cd-"
"You had to sleep with him?"
"Yeah. Then it was that guy and one of his friends, then his friends..."
"How long were you out on the street before you realized he was just a pimp."
That hurt. It really, really hurt. "Two days." I said, chugging the drink down. God damn I was a mess. "It took two whole damn days to realize I had become a whore. Funny, right? I came here to hit it big and became a whore." I look at my empty drink. "It's funny how stupid I am."
"No, it's sad. People don't deserve that." He brushed my bloodied lip with a wash cloth. "you sure you don't need to go to a hospital." He asked, the warm water felt so good on my bruises. "You sure you don't want to go to the hospital?"
"Yeah." I say, my fox tail wagging slowly. I must look like a weak pup to him.
He takes me to his bedroom, and a part of me cringes. "You sleep here tonight." He said, setting me on the bed. "I'll sleep on my couch."
"You don't mind?" I ask, running my paws over the covers. "You can sleep in here with me, if you want."
"If you don't mind."
I don't reject. I want my savior to be close to me.
"Tomorrow, I'll take you shopping for respectable clothes, then I'll get you into this bar I know." He said. "But you gotta prove to me you can sing as good as you can take a beating."
I giggle."
FOUR YEARS AGO.
"They have the best burgers ever!" My boyfriend says, biting into his burger, smiling wide. We are here in a small city to see his sister for the first time. "What should I say?" I ask Leon, who swallows his burger and shrugs. "Well, I would start with 'Hi' And go from there."
I shake my head and bite into my fries. Always the comedian. "Funny, but, I mean, what if I ask them about my profession?"
"You are a singer. You don't have to bring up you were a prostitute. 'Hi, my name is Alex, did you know I used to turn tricks?'", He bit into his burger and murred. "Stuff like that doesn't come up in conversations. Just tell them that you are a singer. That IS what you are doing currently."
I nod. He is right. I have a piano, a guitar, and it's all thanks to Leon. In the past year I have found out that he has a sister and little brother, that he worked at a record company (But I needed experience before he could get me a meeting) and his parents didn't approve of his sexuality. He loved cheeseburgers, and he thought Joes burger joint made the best.
"I missed this place so much." He said, finishing his big ass burger and murring. "I'll have to run soooo much to get that out of my system, but goodness was it good. You gonna finish yours?"
"Yeah!" I say giggling as he reaches for my burger. Everything was funny with him. Life was a joke in his eyes, and that cocky smile was always there.
He coughed and smiled. "Think I'm catching something." He said, smiling and getting up. "You ready to go?" I grab my coat and nod, standing. "You liar! You didn't wrap up your burger! you were just going to leave it here!" He plopped back down, took my burger, and bit into it.
"You sonofabitch!" I say stomping my foot but giggling. "Well, I get the rest of my fries... and a shake... and you're paying." I say sitting back down.
THREE YEARS AGO
"So how long do I have?" Leon asks, I hold his paw tighter, but I don't know who is grasping who's paw harder.
"Well... We can't say for sure." He says looking over the papers. "We can give you some pills, and maybe you will get better, maybe not. It's hard to tell with this disease."
"Oh..." Leon says, scratching the back of his head. The coughing, why didn't he take it serious?
"MY LUMPS! MY LUMPS! MY LOVELY CANCER LUMPS!" "You IDIOT! It's not cancer!" "I know but I always wanted to have cancer so I could sing that."
I sigh. "At least he is taking it well," I say to the doctor.
TWO YEARS AGO
We sat in our usual spot, once a week we go to this place for burgers. "Best, burgers, ever." Leon says for the third time. He inhaled his burger and was now on mine. We moved to his hometown a few months ago. He kept that same smile, even as his fur lost it's lust, and he seemed to be losing weight. "So you turned them down?"
"At least till you get better." I said smiling, kicking my feet, rubbing his leg. "Then you can come with."
He smiled and shook his head. "Just go honey... Badger." He says grinning.
"The honey badger doesn't give a shit." I say giggling, sipping my shake. I feel fat, but I have been making nothing BUT fattening meals in the hopes of helping my mate gain weight.
"Come on. And look at all the stuff we have these days," He says. "We have voice chat, cell phones, not like we would be cut from one another. The company will pay for everything, they fill bad for widdle ol me." He said, and I nod.
"I'll do it!" I say, he grabs my fries and pull them away, I stare at him.
"Great! Your training begins now, and you need to lose weight!" He says snickering. I would say something, but he is right, maybe, when I give him fattening foods, I should have just had a salad. I smile, and we eat.
ONE YEAR AGO
I lay my paw on his. "Did... you... bring it..." He said weakly. I hold up the paper bag and he sits upright. "MIEN!" He calls out, taking the bag and throwing the covers above his head.
"Ass hole!" I say, shoving him. He grunts, and I know he is already eating. "One of those fries is for me." I way. His paw pulls the blankets away, and hands me the fries. I graciously take them.
"How's the CD?"
"Good. It sold out in some stores." I say smiling. Not to bad for an ex whore. I hold his paw and blush. "Thank you, for, you know, picking me up that day?"
"It's your fault, you left the keys to your car in it." I hit him and he lets out a whine. I forgot how fragile he is now.
"I mean, all those years ago." I say, smiling. "When I was getting beat up. You saved me, and took me to your house, helped me get a career."
"And asked you out. You forgot that." Leon said.
SEVEN DAYS AGO.
I lay the paper bag on the wheelie desk thing beside my wolf. He coughs into his napkin. He ties to hide it, but I know there is blood in his cough. His breathe is wheezy and shallow, his body is weak and thin. I grab his paw and run my thumb against his palm.
"Did you get it?" He asked, smiling at me. That cocky smile is weak and weary. I nod, wanting to cry. "Yeah." I say, pulling my paw away and reaching into the bag, pulling out a big ass burger. He puts a paw to mine and shakes his head, and I know he can't eat it.
"This is really it." I say, tears welling in my eyes, knowing the time had finally come. I tried so hard not to cry in the past year, but I couldn't help it. "Y-you're parents can't come today." I said, biting my lip. I didn't tell him that they refused to be here as long as I am here.
"It's fine... You're here." He said wheezing. My body heaves as the tears make it hard to see. He pats my paw and says. "Lean closer."
I do, and he gives me a soft kiss, before spitting a raspberry right in my face.
"You cheeky bastard!" I laugh, rubbing my face.
I'm laughing as the beeps get faster, and then there is one long continues beep.
And then I cry, I cry hold his hand. I cry, knowing that the last thing he did in this life is made me laugh.
My love is dead.
Two days ago.
"I DON'T WANT THAT FUCKING FAG AT MY SONS FUNERAL!"
"YOUR SON LOVED HIM!"
I hug my mates shirt tighter. It smells just like him. It amazes me that when people go to screaming, they don't remember they can be heard.
Stacy hugs me. Stacy is Leon's sister, and one of the few people who care for me in Leon's family. "You are definitely going." She said, flipping her long black hair.
"I am. I loved Leon, I deserve to be there." I say. I am in his old room. It's all so nice.
"You are saying something at his funeral, right?"
"What!?" I ask, shacking from my day dream and looking to her.
"It was his last wish you said something at his funeral."
"He never said anything to me."
"His final laugh." Stacy said, and I give a soft smile. I loved that son of a bitch. It brought tears to my eyes and she hugged me tight.
Today.
I sit at the front with his family, all that fighting about me going, and it didn't matter. We weren't here to talk about if I was allowed or not.
We were there for him.
I stared at his coffin. It was black, and I knew he would have hated it. "Make it look bitchin" He said once, and I smiled, knowing I must look off. I slowly stand when the preacher asked "Does anyone have words they want to say?"
"I do." I said, clutching my paws together. I felt to weird, knowing that his whole family was her (as well as the owners of Joe's Burger Joint, and his Niece.)
The idea is, you aren't supposed to break down and start crying while you are talking, so I swallowed, hoping I could do it.
"There are three things that he wanted me to do today. He wanted me to say some words, sing, and then go get a big ass burger for him." I blush, knowing that some people are glaring at me. I'm ruining this special day by reminding them that I exist.
"There was a forth thing he wanted, he wanted me to hug everyone and tell them it came from him... But that isn't going to happen."
There was a shocker to some.
"Some of you supported our relationship, some of you didn't. Today isn't about me, it's about him. The last day of his life, I was with him. And he was there the first day of my new life. I was a prostitute. He saw me for who I used to be, and who I could be. He accepted me into his home, and didn't ask for anything in return. To the day he died, he loved me, and I still love him. I know that some people were expecting me to brake up with him when he got sick. But I didn't. I was with him from the day he was sick till the day he died. How many of you can say that?"
I bit my lower lip. "But today isn't about me, or us, it is about him. Your brother, your son, your cousin, he was an angel to me. He always smiled, and he was always nice. Yeah, he could be a prankster, and he stole my burger all the time, but he always made me laugh. He made me feel special. What we had was love. It wasn't gay love, it was love. We have heard, all our lives, that love is blind? That doesn't mean you can fall in love with an ugly person, it means you can fall in love with anyone, of any age, and gender. You love your wives and husbands just as he loved me, and I loved him."
I rubbed my eyes, the people becoming a blur. Maybe they were rolling there eyes, maybe I was making a difference. "But I don't care what you think." I said, blushing harder. "Today is for him. And I am here for him. When the funeral is over, it will still be about him. He changed my life for the better. He was an angel to everyone he knew, it doesn't matter who he loved, he was kind to everyone. When I wasn't allowed in his parents house, he didn't cuss them, or get angry with them, he treated me so good that I couldn't hate his parents, for they had given birth to the nicest man I know."
I wipe my eyes on my sleeve, and I feel a hand on my shoulder, and then a hug. "Thank you." I hear Leon say. I know it isn't real, so I shake it off, making a slight sob before clearing my throat.
"When this is over, I am going to go home, get dressed in something alittle more casual, and then go to Joe's Burger Joint, order a big ass burger with extra onions, cheese, and large fries, the way he liked it, and think of him."
"I feel a paw on mine, and I blush. It's Stacy this time, and she hands me a napkin. I wipe my eyes and sigh. "It's not what you take when you leave this world behind you, it's what you leave when you go. He said that all the time. He left behind a loving family, and someone who's life he turned around. I will always love him, and I will always be thankful for him. I want to thank his parents. Even if you didn't like me, you raised a son who loved me with all his heart."
"You gonna be okay to sing?" Stacy asks, and I nod. "Yeah..."
The song begins to play, and I sing. Arms Of An Angel is fitting, I think, and my voice sounds right.
When I sing, my mind is clear, and my eyes clear enough to see the people in the room. Some are silent, and I can tell from there demeanor that they don't want me here. But I don't care about them. I don't need there approval. Leon's was all I needed, but those that seemed to look at me in a new light made me smile on the inside.
TWO HOURS LATER.
I sit at the burger joint, eating my burger. It just didn't taste the same without him.
"You gonna stay in town?" Stacy asks, sipping her drink.
"Yeah. Atleast for awhile." The place was closed for the funeral, the only people who could get in were friends and family, and the place was pact. People I never thought would be there were, including Leon's mom. "His father has some thinking to do." She said when she sat next to us.
A large panther stood next to me. "Hey, my neice and her band wanna sing for you guys, that cool?" We nod collectively, saying sure, yeah, sounds good.
"That was a lovely speech." A fox and Doberman say, sitting next to us, both of them have small cubs with them, a fox cub and a doberman cub.
"Aww, Toby, Ricky, are those your kids? Where are the surrogate mothers?" Stacy asks, and I giver her a weird look.
"Back in new york... They aren't a big part of our lives. Say hello to Rj and Tj." The fox says.
"Wait," Leon's mother says, "You named Ricky Junior after Ricky, even though he is a fox, not a doberman, and Toby Junior after you, who is a fox, though he is a doberman."
"Yep."
"...WHY?" I finally ask.
"Because it is going to mess with their heads SO MUCH!"
I knew Toby and Ricky from New York, they came down here for the funeral, but they were Leons friend way back when he lived here. Funny.
The band didn't get an introduction, they just began to play. "Usually, they black out the stage when they play, but this place wasn't really built for bands." Stacy said. I looked at the drum and it had there name "The Clash At Demonhead" spray painted on it. I smile, always nice to see fans of SP.
"Our lead, and right now only, guitarist would like to play a song he was reminded of from the funeral." The panther said, her blonde hair moving behind her ears as she used two fingers to move it.
The bear picked up his guitar and blushed. "Uh, I hope you guys don't mind if I play a song I really like, and not just background music..."
I smiled. He was a cute thing, kinda chubby, looked socially awkward. "Invite him for sexy timez nao" I could hear Leon say, making me roll my eyes. "Great, I'm going crazy." I said shaking my head.
"A farmer and a teacher, a hooker and a preacher,
Ridin' on a midnight bus bound for Mexico.
One's headed for vacation, one for higher education,
An' two of them were searchin' for lost souls.
That driver never ever saw the stop sign.
An' eighteen wheelers can't stop on a dime.
There are three wooden crosses on the right side of the highway,
Why there's not four of them, Heaven only knows.
I guess it's not what you take when you leave this world behind you,
It's what you leave behind you when you go.
That farmer left a harvest, a home and eighty acres,
The faith an' love for growin' things in his young son's heart.
An' that teacher left her wisdom in the minds of lots of children:
Did her best to give 'em all a better start.
An' that preacher whispered: "Can't you see the Promised Land?"
As he laid his blood-stained bible in that hooker's hand.
There are three wooden crosses on the right side of the highway,
Why there's not four of them, Heaven only knows.
I guess it's not what you take when you leave this world behind you,
It's what you leave behind you when you go.
That's the story that our preacher told last Sunday.
As he held that blood-stained bible up,
For all of us to see.
He said: "Bless the farmer, and the teacher, an' the preacher"
"Who gave this Bible to my mamma,
"Who read it to me."
There are three wooden crosses on the right side of the highway,
Why there's not four of them, now I guess we know.
It's not what you take when you leave this world behind you,
It's what you leave behind you when you go.
There are three wooden crosses on the right side of the highway."
I listen in stunned silence. They were good, and they sounded amazing. The bear on the guitar, the bull on the drums, and the panther on the electronic Piano. The sounded so nice, it reminded me so much of him and me "He and I" I heard him say in the back of my head. I was a wannabe singer turned whore, and he saved me from a dark life. He changed my life, and countless others, for the better.
I clapped, tears in my eyes as others did the same. I could tell the bear looked flustered while the other two soaked up the praise.
ONE HOUR LATER
I adjusted my coat and sighed. "How the hell he managed to eat all that and whatever food of mine he could steal is beyond me." I said sighing again.
"It was great though." Toby said, leaning next to Ricky. "You comming back to new york soon?"
"Yeah... I don't think I'm going to be able to leave his stuff though, I'll take it all with me and keep it for ever. Cecila Ahern can suck it." I say, smiling. "Oh, hold on a sec. I'll be back soon."
I race off to the back of the store, sure enough the band is putting their gear in the back of a band. "You guys were good." I said smiling. "I know a record company that can get you guys going."
"Thanks." The panther said, I write the number down and she hugs it. "We are still in school though." I hear a whistle and look up.
"Cody! Get your ass over here! I'm freezing!" I hear a look up, and there stands a large black wolf. I look into his eyes, and I see something I hadn't seen in years, the eyes of a monster, the same eyes my pimp had.
"I gotta go guys." The bear said, setting his guitar in the van. That was Cody? I could tell he was meek just by looking at him. And I saw it all in my head. Everything from my own experiences to how this could end for the bear.
"You have to stop him!" Leon yelled in my head, and I grabbed the bears paw. "You don't have to go." I said, urgency in my voice that I knew probably sounded a bit to urgent. "Things will only get worse." I look into his eyes and I realize he has a bruise that is slowly fading.
The bear looked at me for a moment, and I saw something that reminded me so much of myself. "GET OVER HERE!" The wolf cried out.
"C-coming." The bear said, his paw falling from mine as he walked over. I clenched my fists, but didn't say anything.
"You two look after him, okay?" I said, turning to the bull and the panther, who nod.
"His boyfriend has turned into an asshole." Alyssa said, strumming a few strings. "He tells us to butt out, and nothing is going on, but I know there is."
"I look back to the bear, who is now in a black car, being driven off. "I think I'll stay in town for a little while longer, what can you tell me about your friend." I say, looking back at the panther.
Leon saved me, I should do the same.
