A Warm Bed Chapter 15 -
Ultimus
(September 28th)
Coffee.
Scott may have been sleeping much closer to the brewing pot, but that didn't mean he was the only one who could smell it. Besides, the raccoon who was brewing it had very recently been Jeffery's pillow, and the cat had already been roused by James's departure long before the coffee's scent met his nose.
And so it was that the cat stood now, bleary eyed and naked, watching from the kitchen doorway as his elder boyfriend and the raccoon he'd shared a bed with the night before, Scott and James, were locked in a kiss.
Luckily, the kitten was lithe and nimble: light enough on his feet to go perfectly unheard and unseen, as he turned on his heel and disappeared back through the open door.
Fighting to force his breaths steady, he leaned against and slid down the nearest wall, where he sat, knees drawn up and clasped tight in his arms. In his imagination, they went on and on: a fox's paw struggling to invade a raccoon's pants, as that raccoon's paw effortlessly slipped past the fox's underwear. And soon, James's shaft glistened with Scott's saliva, fresh from tickling the back of his throat, as their guest was bent over the counter with a knot begging for entry against his welcoming hole.
But it was all in Jeffery's head. It was only a kiss. His worry, his jealousy, and his shock were running away with him. Nothing of the sort had happened yet, and there was nothing to say it would. It was only a kiss. He repeated to himself again and again: it was only a kiss.
For a moment, even, a song came to mind...and he almost laughed. Almost.
``No,'' Jeff's ears perked at the sound of Scott's voice. It was short, though -- barely even the full sound that the word `no' should make -- before it was again replaced with the wet sounds of a sloppy kiss. But after a moment, the dull smacking abruptly came to an end, and the fox's voice returned, ``No. We can't do this!''
``Right,'' though strained, James's voice agreed. ``Sorry. I know. We're...'' the voice broke in a breath, clearly drawn to calm its nerves, ``Fuck. I'm sorry.''
``It...it's okay.''
``It really isn't.''
``No. I mean...'' Scott's voice paused, and Jeffery turned his ears to listen. What DID he mean? How could he possibly say this was okay? ``What I meant was: the kiss wasn't just your fault. You don't have to apologize.''
``Right!'' James's voice began enthusiastically, but quickly calmed and darkened, ``I uhm...right.'' At least they were both accepting blame. It was a start.
``We just...we can't let this happen again.'' There was a pause, and, in it, Jeff could hear the shuffling of his fox's feet. He pictured his boyfriend distancing himself from the raccoon, uncomfortable with what had just happened, but the boy shuddered at the thought that he could, just as easily, have been moving closer. ``I mean...'' the fox began again, ``I want you to be able to stay around, and-''
``Me too!'' Again, James shot back excitedly, only to calm himself just as fast, ``M-me too.'' But Jeffery was more concerned with what Scott had said. He wanted James to stay around? Was that really his first concern?
``Then we've gotta' be able to control ourselves better than that. We can't just...''
``Right! Cause it's not fair to Jeffery.''
``Or to you,'' Scott amended. And the eavesdropping cat was struck immediately with jealousy. Who cares how fair it was to James?
Confused, the raccoon's voice just repeated the other's, ``...to me?''
``N-no. Sorry. Nothing.''
``No. What did you mean?''
``I just meant that, you know...'' Scott paused again, hesitant to say whatever was on his mind, ``it's not fair to tease you like that.''
``...just me?'' James's voice sounded clearly hurt by the statement.
``Hmm?''
``Am I...the ONLY one of us being teased?''
``That...'' as the fox began, his kitten held his breath. After all: that was the question, wasn't it? Was his boyfriend teased by the kiss as well? Or were James's feelings really one sided? ``...that's not the point right now.'' And that was not the answer Jeff wanted to hear.
``Right. Sorry.''
Right. Despite the hundred-and-one more pressing concerns he should have had on his mind, Jeffery couldn't help but notice how many times James had said that word. Right. Did the raccoon always do that? How had he not picked up on it before?
And as Jeff's mind wandered, the kitchen grew silent: neither of its occupants at all certain where to go from there -- what to say, or what to do -- but both no more able to escape the situation than Jeffery was able to pull himself from of the wall.
When a voice finally spoke up again, it was James's: ``Do we...? I mean: should...?'' He stammered, clearly unsure of how to even ask his question, ``Did this just happen?''
Scott's voice clarified what he'd implied: ``You mean: do we say anything to him?''
And the raccoon's confirmed it: ``Yeah. I mean, I know you're trying to be honest with him and everything...''
``I am, but...'' Jeff twitched at the word. But? How could there be a `but?' Scott and Jeffery had promised they were going to be honest with one another. And if anything fell under that promise, it was this! Was he seriously considering not saying anything? ``...but this would just hurt him. And there's no point in that.''
``Right.'' Right. There it was again. Jeff was certain he'd never heard James do this before. Maybe he was just saying it so much because he was nervous. ``There's no point in hurting him over...over something he doesn't even need to be bothered with.''
``Yeah! I mean this was...this was just-''
``Nothing!''
``Nothing?'' the fox's voice squeaked, and his kitten's heart dropped. Scott was hurt. Scott was hurt to have James call their kiss nothing, and that was the last thing Jeffery wanted to hear. ``Or...I mean, yeah. Nothing. Just...just a mistake,'' half heartedly, the fox did his best to agree. ``We were both just a little horny-''
``Tired!'' James cut him off franticly.
``Tired. Yeah, we were both just a little tired,'' swiftly, Scott corrected himself. ``I mean, we'd had a stressful night...''
``...we let ourselves get a little carried away...''
``...and it won't happen again.''
Jeff, though, wasn't so sure if he believed that. After hearing James so hurt to think that the kiss hadn't teased Scott, as well...and after hearing Scott equally dejected at having James call it `nothing'...the cat had little faith that this would be the last time they lost control.
``I uhm...'' Scott spoke again, ``I should probably go get dressed.''
And with that, Jeff was up and away from the wall with a start, dashing through the living room to avoid being found, before James had even had a chance to respond.
``Right.''
~
It wasn't long before James attempted his escape.
Before it was even time for lunch, the raccoon had already concocted an appropriately nervous and transparent excuse to explain away why he had to leave. Clearly, the real reason was that he was having trouble even being near Jeffery, let alone making eye contact with the boy...but he couldn't exactly admit that.
Secretly, Jeff enjoyed a wicked delight at the raccoon's predicament, and at the sly and disapproving scowls from Scott, silently demanding that his coworker do a better job of hiding his discomfort. And the kitten had no problem with extending both that discomfort, and his own guilty pleasure...
Because Jeffery asked the raccoon to stay the day, and to join them for dinner.
James couldn't exactly say no, especially not to the boy who had cried in his arms the night before. And he certainly couldn't tell the truth about why he wanted to leave. And so, he was trapped, and was soon promising to stay through a second night.
He did place one condition on his promise, however: he needed to take a shower. And so, soon enough, not long after lunch, the raccoon was locked up the bathroom, and Jeffery and Scott were left alone to themselves on the living room couch.
And Jeff decided to make use of this moment's privacy. Which -- considering that James was certainly using his alone time in the shower to `relieve the morning's tension' -- was sure to be quite a long moment's privacy, at that...
``Scott?'' after some time spent mustering his courage, the kitten spoke up, interrupting his former master's show. ``Can we talk?''
``Sure, sweetheart,'' Scott muted the television for his former pet without even a hint of annoyance at the disruption, and then turned to him with a gentle smile. ``Is this about what you talked about with James last night?''
``No.'' Jeffery coughed and swallowed down the last of his nerves, ``But it is about James.''
``Is everything okay?'' The cat knew what his fox actually meant by that. He meant: `What do you know?' He meant: `Oh no. You didn't find out about the kiss, did you?' But his words, his tone, and his face somehow conveyed none of that anxiety. He appeared simply concerned, as a loving boyfriend should, and it was only because the boy DID know what happened, that he could read between the lines.
Jeff wasn't entirely certain how he should feel about that either. Should he be entertained, in comparison, at how terrible JAMES was at hiding his nerves, or unsettled by how good of a liar Scott really was? ``Yeah, everything's fine. I just...'' It was best, though, to ignore that for now, and to move right along to his point. So with a breath, he did: ``Scott, how do you really feel about James?''
Scott opened his muzzle to answer but held it there in silence, weighing whatever his various responses could be, and considering his words before he spoke. To his young boyfriend's delight, he erred on the side of honesty, ``...what are you wanting to hear me say, Kitten?''
``The truth.'' The cat smiled in an attempt to be comforting and welcoming to even an unpleasant answer, ``No matter what...the truth.''
``I uhm...'' though hesitant, Scott gave him the truth he wanted, ``I still have feelings for him.''
``Feelings?''
``...I love him.''
Jeffery found himself torn. It was an honest answer, and that was what he wanted...but, despite the fact that, on some level, he expected it, `love' was a stronger word than he really wanted to hear, ``And you want to be with him?''
``I didn't say that!'' paws up, the fox shot back more emphatically. ``I'm with you. THAT's what I want.''
Jeff just shrugged, ``You could want both.''
And Scott rose a playful, mocking eyebrow at the thought, ``I think we already tried that, once, kitten.''
``No. I don't mean a three way, uhm...thing. I mean, like...'' the cat hummed absently as he tried to determine how best to explain it. ``It's like, sometimes, I still wish I could go back home, y'know? Sometimes I wish my dad was gone, and I could go back and sleep in my old room again, and have the good times with my mom, like we...sometimes had,'' he rolled his eyes at the realization of how sparse those `sometimes' really were, ``but without my dad there to ruin it, you know?''
``Of course.''
``But that doesn't mean I don't still wanna' be here, too. It doesn't mean I'd leave you if that could happen. It just means that...it means I want both.''
Scott tilted his head as he considered what his young lover had said, ``And you're asking if that's how I feel about James? If I still imagine what we could have had, and still want it...even though I have no intention of leaving you for it?''
The soft, almost dreamy tone in his elder boyfriend's voice already told Jeffery that the answer was a yes, but he went along with the conversation anyway, ``I am.''
The fox looked down quietly, licking his lips and tapping his fingers on a knee, and once he finally opened his muzzle to speak, he first drew in a deep breath. His kitten had seen this before; he was about to start a speech. ``Jeffery, I've had a few other boyfriends before you and James.'' Did James really count as a boyfriend? ``Not that James was ever officially my boyfriend, but you get my point,'' quite clearly, in fact. ``I DO still have feelings for James. I still love him, even, but I could say the same thing about most of the others too. This is...it's something you'd need to be a bit older, and to have gone through a few relationships to really understand...but feelings like that don't just disappear.'' The elder vulpine reached across and put a comforting paw on his kitten's shoulder, ``But they don't change how I feel about you, either. They're just feelings, and they don't have to mean -- or change -- anything.''
Jeff, though, knew that wasn't true. He knew how important his feelings, and Scott's too, had been to their relationship and its troubles. Scott could say otherwise, but Jeff knew that his feelings DID mean something. For now, though, he continued to play along, ``So...what do you wanna' do, then?''
``What do YOU want to do?''
``I want you to answer me.''
Scott laughed aloud at his kitten's forthright and surprisingly playful response, and complied, ``Okay then. I want things to be exactly the way they are, right now. I want to be with you, and to wake up and see a smile on your face every morning. I want you to live here with me, and for you to know that you're mine and that you're safe. I want to take care of you. And I want us to enjoy our lives together,'' despite how sweet that should have sounded, Jeffery couldn't help but notice that it seemed Scott was describing how to make Jeff happy, and not himself. ``Just like we've been doing, already.''
``You want things exactly like they are?'' the cat parroted back the beginning of his answer, and amended to it: ``And that means you still want James around, too.''
``I do,'' Scott admitted straight away, but with a smile. And with another breath, he offered an explanation why: ``I think you need more people in your life than just me, Jeffery. There's no way it's healthy for you to just see me, and only me...day in and day out. You really need more living contact than that. And -- not that he's not a great option -- but, thanks to our situation, James is really the only option we have, either way.''
Until this point, Jeffery was willing to play along. He'd let his former master avoid the question of whether or not he wanted to BE with James, and he even pretended the he believed the feelings meant nothing.
This time, though, he called his elder boyfriend on the lie: ``That's not true.''
``What?''
``You're lying to me.''
``How am I lying to you?'' At the accusation, the fox turned uncharacteristically defensive, ``I admitted that I want him around. That's the truth!''
``But that's not WHY you want him around. I mean: maybe it's a part of it...but it's not the whole reason. You don't just want him here, because it's good for me.'' Jeff rubbed his paws together, somewhat uncomfortable with being the forceful one in the conversation, ``Didn't you say that we're supposed to be honest about everything, now? Just tell me the truth, Scott. You can tell me why you really want him here.''
As he looked his kitten in the eye, Scott's defensiveness faded, ``...it sounds like you already know.''
``Just because I'm fourteen doesn't mean I'm stupid,'' the cat nodded.
``Fine. I want him around for me, too. I care about him.'' Scott stopped to correct that: ``I love him. And the thought of losing him completely -- I mean, not that I wouldn't still be able to see him at work, but, still -- it feels terrible to even think about it.'' He gulped, and his eyes dropped as his voice took on a darker, more somber tone. Such mounting gloom, though, wasn't from what he'd just said; it was from what he was about to say. ``But look. This isn't something I can force on you. I can't force you to have to see him around here all the time...or to have to see me and him together, and to know how I...'' he trailed off, instead of going on about his feelings again. ``What I mean is, if you want me to tell him to not come around anymore, then just-''
``No!''
``No?''
Jeffery considered talking about the night before. He considered explaining how amazing James had been for him, and, despite everything, how much he still liked the raccoon. He considered covering that and every other thought that had crossed his mind since early this morning in the kitchen. But for the moment, he simply repeated his lover's earlier lie: ``You were right. Whether it was really your reason or not, it IS nice for me to have somebody else around...sometimes, at least. I just wanted you to be honest, and to admit that that wasn't why YOU really wanted him around.''
``But...you're telling me that you do, too?'' the fox appeared genuinely confused by that, ``uhm...you want him here, I mean?''
Jeff nodded, ``As long as it's not too hard on you and him...yeah, I do.''
Scott breathed out a long, relieved sigh at his kitten's answer, ``Honestly, I'm not sure which would be harder: us being together like that and not really being TOGETHER, or not having him around at all.''
``But it sounds like you'd already chose the first option, before we even started talking...''
``Yeah. That I did.''
``Well, what about James?'' the cat asked the question he was certain was on his fox's mind as well. ``What do you think would be easiest on him?''
``Honestly? I don't know,'' Scott offered a short laugh and a shrug. ``But I hope he wants to stick around, too.''
``Me, too.''
~
Dinner came and went, and, as promised, James stayed through the evening.
Scott prepared the meal, and Jeff kept their raccoon visitor company while they waited. At first, James's nervousness persisted, especially in any situation which found him alone with the cat. But Jeffery made a point of acting like his normal self, and showed no signs of knowing anything he shouldn't, or of having any thoughts on his mind, save for hunger and his continued gratitude for the raccoon's actions, 24 hours before.
And so, in time, James's discomfort faded, and by the time they'd sat down to eat, he was HIS normal self as well.
Soon thereafter, their meal now over and their dishes put away, Jeffery proposed a new locale for their relaxed night together. Instead of sitting in front of the television ignoring one another, he suggested a night on the porch in the backyard. It was a clear and comfortable evening, and the lawn furniture afforded them a place to sit and enjoy one another's company.
They agreed...though Scott reminded Jeff that their privacy fence didn't exactly hide everything, and that it was best if the kitten got dressed, first.
And soon, that's where they were, sitting in Scott's metal lawn furniture under the starlight and discussing a myriad of irrelevant topics: from the television shows they'd planned to avoid, to workplace drama, to anecdotes from the fox and raccoon's youths.
And at a lull in the conversation, James turned to yet another topic, ``You know what would have made dinner even better, tonight?''
Scott grimaced, pretending to be offended, ``That sounds like it's gonna' be mildly insulting.''
``No, no! It's not a critique. It's just an observation.''
``Okay, then.''
``Well you two have this big back porch and such a nice backyard, right?'' the raccoon motioned a paw around the area. ``So why not buy a grill?''
``Uhm...'' Scott rubbed the back of his neck, ``because I don't really have any experience with grills. I'm not sure I'd do it any justice.''
``And that's why I'm here!'' James lit up with pride, ``See? You go buy a grill, and whenever you want, all you have to do is call me over and we'll have a cook out!''
The fox laughed off the proposition, ``And I'm supposed to go buy a grill just for your visits?'' Watching from feet away, Jeffery smirked, reflecting to himself that the `coon would probably be visiting far more than enough to warrant it. But, for now, he kept such thoughts to himself and simply let the two adults continue on, ``If that's how it's supposed to be, why don't you just bring your own grill over here?''
James held up a finger, ``First of all, have you ever tried transporting a grill without a truck?''
Scott didn't bother to wait for the `second of all,' ``Well then we can come to your place!''
``And SECOND,'' as he held up another finger, the raccoon emphasized the word as best he could, ``I don't even have s grill. I live in an apartment, Scott!'' He held up his paws in defeat, though, ``But you're right: you shouldn't have to buy it. So why don't we go in on it, together?''
``I...don't know about that...'' Scott's playful demeanor shut down almost on cue. Something about the idea clearly made him more than a little uncomfortable. And Jeff knew why. Buying something like that together seemed like the sort of thing a couple would do...and not just friends. But the cat had a sneaking suspicion that what really made him uncomfortable wasn't the proposition itself, so much as the idea of agreeing to it -- or even discussing it -- in front of Jeff...
``Oh, come on!'' the kitten finally interjected himself. ``I haven't had anything grilled in forever!''
Scott turned to look at his young lover, ``And I take it that it's something you like?''
``Yeah! Grilling was the only thing my dad did right with his life.''
James jumped to argue, ``Now that's not true! What about having you?''
``It's called hyperbole, raccoon!'' Scott mocked his coworker. ``You're a teacher; shouldn't you be smarter than that?''
``It's called an attempt at a compliment, fox,'' James sniped right back. ``You're his boyfriend; shouldn't you be nicer than that?''
``Yeah!'' Jeffery agreed.
``Well isn't that nice?'' Scott threw up his paws in mock exasperation. ``First the grill, and now this? You two seem to be presenting quite the unified front tonight.''
``We are,'' Jeff nodded...
...and James concurred, ``How else are we supposed to keep you in line?''
Scott crossed his arms with a huff, ``Fine. If you two want a grill so badly, then James: we can go in on one, together.'' He shook his head, ``I still don't think you're gonna' be around enough to use it, though.''
``Sure he will!'' Jeff argued.
And Scott laughed in return, ``Careful, now, Kitten: don't be too welcoming.'' He pointed a thumb at their guest, ``He might start expecting you to give him a key to the house!''
An anxious, but playful smile split Jeffery's muzzle, ``And why would I need to do that? I'm sure you'll get to it first.'' And with that, it was time. He'd waited through the afternoon and evening, through dinner, and through the conversations both inside and out which followed, looking for the perfect moment. And this was it, ``After all, you were just telling me earlier today how much you love him!''
More than once, Jeff had been in a situation where he could have described time as `frozen:' a situation where seconds drew out like hours for one reason or another, be it shock, embarrassment, or horror. This was the first time, though, that he'd watched it from the outside...and it was more entertaining than he'd expected.
For a split second, both adults stiffened -- silent, breathless statues, save for their widening eyes -- as the color drained from the flesh of their inner ears, and what little else wasn't too covered in fur to see. And then once they did move, it was sharp and awkward: eyes jerking aside and desperate to look anywhere but at one another.
And the cat had expected no less. He knew Scott well enough to know that he'd never told James how he felt...
``Uhm...'' the fox seemed to be almost struggling just to speak, ``Jeffery?''
``Don't worry, Scott. It's okay,'' Jeff just flashed the same wickedly playful, but anxious smile as before. ``He loves you too!''
Until then, James's eyes had been darting about, trying again and again to look at Scott and to gauge his reaction, but terminally unable to linger on him for more than a fraction of a second. But at Jeff's claim, those eyes shot to the boy, instead, ``I-I never said that...''
``No,'' Jeffery nodded once, ``but you never argued with me when I said it, either''
James could barely do more than blink in response, ``When you...?''
``When we were talking last night, remember? I mentioned how you loved him and wanted to be with him, and how I ruined that for you?'' The cat motioned a paw at their visitor, ``You didn't argue with me.''
``Jeff...'' Scott tried to put an end to whatever his kitten was doing, ``we really don't need to be-''
``James?'' Jeff though, just cut him off, and went right along talking to the raccoon. ``Do you remember why me and Scott had so many problems?''
``Uhm...maybe?''
Jeffery explained, anyway, but turned to look at Scott, and not at James, as he did: ``It's because we were both in love with each other, but we were too afraid to say it. And all that did was hurt us...'' he looked back at James, ``...and you too.''
Scott and James clearly got his point, but all either of them could do was look away in silence, nervously scanning the backyard just so they could look somewhere other than at Jeff.
``Do you two really need a kid to spell this out for you?'' Jeff paused, but still got no answer. ``Seriously? All three of us should have already learned this lesson.''
Finally, Scott responded, ``It's not that simple, Jeff.''
``No. It really is!''
And James as well, ``It's just that there's more to worry about than just-''
``You mean like worrying about ME?'' the young cat interrupted him. ``Why? Because I shouldn't be hearing you two say something like that to each other? I kinda' already know.''
Scott shook his head, ``Things are already awkward enough, Jeffery.''
``And being honest won't make them any worse! All it'll do is let us face them together.'' Jeffery looked between the two for any sign of agreement, ``I mean...isn't that better than dealing with it on your own?''
``Together?'' James repeated...
...and the boy nodded with a smile, ``Like a family.''
Scott, though, remained unconvinced, ``You really don't understand, kitten.''
So Jeffery finally admitted what he'd been trying to avoid so far: ``I understand that I saw you two KISSING this morning.''
James drew in a breath and stumbled back, ``Oh fuck...''
And Scott jumped immediately into damage control: ``Jeffery, look...''
The kitten, though, stopped him before he could even begin, ``No. Don't. It's okay.'' To everyone's surprise, including his own, his smile remained, ``I'm not mad. But this is a perfect example of what I'm talking about!''
With Scott momentarily too confused to speak, it was up to James to ask for clarification: ``What do you mean?''
``I mean: that you two have been lying to each other and letting everything be so weird between you...and it led to THAT! A kiss! And now you both feel guilty, and sad, and awkward, and that just led to both of you lying to ME too!'' Jeffery laughed darkly and shook his head, ``Don't you see where this is going? I mean...I doubt it'll end with a wolf bending me over the arm of a couch again, but SOMEONE is gonna' get hurt!''
Cornered by the boy -- especially by the mention of Tony -- and left with no more worthwhile arguments, Scott and James could only respond with shifty eyed silence.
``Now would you please just be honest with one another -- and be honest with ME -- before everything gets worse?''
Though it took a moment for either one to muster the courage, James was the first to speak. ``Were...were you really telling him that you loved me?''
``Do...'' Scott, though, met that with a question of his own, ``do you feel the same way?''
``...I do.''
Jeff, though, wasn't about to let them off that easily. ``I think he wants to hear you say it,'' he took care to be intentionally vague, speaking to both of them at once and neither in particular...to let them decide on their own, to whom it was directed.
Scott decided it was him, ``James...I love you.''
And the raccoon repeated, through a shaky breath: ``I love you, too...''
``See?'' Jeff smiled triumphantly, ``Isn't that better?''
James, at least, offered no response, but his body language -- sunken head, rolled shoulders, and nervously fidgeting paws -- seemed anything but positive.
``Not really, kitten,'' Scott spoke for them both. ``I really don't know how getting us to admit that was supposed to help the situation.''
``You're the one who told me that honesty's always best, Scott.''
``But is it!?'' James nearly yelped out, the situation clearly upsetting him more than Jeff had expected. ``I mean...everything's gonna' be different now! And no: I don't think it's for the better, either.''
Jeffery, though, couldn't understand why, ``But you loved each other before you said it out loud, James. Nothing really changed.''
``But at least we got to ignore it, before!'' James continued on, passionate and distressed. ``We got to pretend like it wasn't an issue. But now that it's out in the open...everything's gonna' be so,'' he drew in a shaking breath, but it did nothing to calm him, ``awkward and uncomfortable.''
``And it wasn't awkward before?''
``But we didn't have to deal with it!''
Scott sighed audibly, ``...and that's not exactly the healthy approach.'' Something in the midst of it all -- more likely the foolishness of James's arguments, than the truth of Jeff's -- had finally swayed him.
And the cat simply motioned to his fox, using his elder lover's words to re-enforce his own.
``Maybe not...but...'' with a breath, James finally managed to say what it actually was that had scared him so badly, ``At least it meant I still got to be in your lives! But now-''
``You still will!'' Jeff stopped him dead in his tracks. ``Is that what you're so worried about? James...no one wants you to leave.''
``But...but now that you know how we feel...?''
``I'd rather us all know what's going on, than to let it be a secret. ESPECIALLY if you're gonna' be around.'' Jeffery leaned forward, smiling his friendliest smile, ``Do remember what I said, a few minutes ago? How we needed to face this together?''
Slowly, the raccoon's shoulders relaxed, and his paws began to hang limp...a smile creeping up on his face, as he remembered what the boy had said: ``...like a family.''
``Like a family!''
``Well then, Sir,'' teasingly, Scott rejoined the conversation, ``you seem you have this all figured out. So how exactly DO we face it?''
The now calmer raccoon agreed: ``Whatever we do...it should really be up to you, anyway.''
``You mean that?'' the kitten asked with a bit more of his trademark timidity. ``I get the final say?''
``Of course you do!'' Scott nodded. ``You're my boyfriend.''
``Yeah.'' James added, ``And we have no right to decide on anything that might affect you like this.''
``I mean: do you want to make sure we're never together without you present?'' The fox paused to correct himself, ``Well, other than at work, anyway...''
``Or maybe even limit how often I visit in general?'' James amended. ``No matter what, you can say...''
``We just want you to be comfortable with everything,'' Scott finished the raccoon's sentence.
``Okay, then.'' Jeffery took in a short breath and paused as he prepared himself for the argument to come. In truth, he had already decided what he wanted to do before the raccoon had even left the shower that afternoon, but the trick was getting Scott and James to the point where they would hear him out. In the end, they would agree with him...and he knew they would, because secretly, no matter what else they might say, they wanted to. But they would still fight him tooth and nail along the way, nonetheless. After all, they had to at least feign resistance... ``I wanna' step aside, so the two of you can be together.''
And the new argument began...
``Jeffery, no!'' first, from James.
``No, Kitten, no!'' and Scott, right behind him. ``It was just a kiss! It didn't mean-''
``I know!'' Jeff stopped him. ``This isn't about the kiss.''
``Then it's about how we feel?'' Scott referenced their earlier discussion, ``Jeff, I told you this afternoon, feelings are just...''
``I know what you told me, but it's not true, and you know it.'' The kitten smiled, albeit wryly, ``You two love each other, and I'm standing in the way of that.''
Next it was James who referenced a past conversation: ``I thought we talked about this last night. I'M the one who got in the way of YOU'RE relationship...not the other way around.''
``Are you?'' Jeffery argued. ``What if Scott had never found me on the street?''
``...I don't know what you mean.''
``You two work together, right? You knew each other already, and it was only a matter of time before you went on a date and fell in love.'' The boy motioned to the both of them for emphasis, ``You two are SUPPOSED to be together!'' and then at himself, ``And I'm just...a hurdle.''
Scott leaned in, shaking his head, ``Kitten, don't talk like that.''
``Why not? It's true.'' Jeff smiled a bit more earnestly than before, looking between the two with an almost dreamy glint in his eyes, ``You two are...you're meant to be!''
James, though, suggested the opposite, ``And how do you know you and Scott aren't meant to be?''
``Hmm?''
``You don't think it's possible that he was `meant' to find you on the street that night?'' The raccoon tapped his chest, ``And that maybe I'M the hurdle?''
``Maybe he was,'' Jeffery admitted with a shrug. ``But maybe, when everything was said and done, he was just supposed to save me...just supposed to take care of me. That doesn't mean we were meant to BE together.''
``No,'' Scott waved his paws dismissively at the whole discussion. ``None of that means anything, Jeffery. Nothing is `meant to be.' Things just are, or they aren't.'' He pointed at the boy insistently, ``And what IS...is that this isn't really what you want.''
``But it is!''
``No it's not. It's what you think WE want.'' The fox pointed at himself, ``It's what you want for US. But what about what you want for you?'' and then back at his young lover again. ``What about what makes you happy?''
``The problem is...that I'm not what makes you happy, anymore, Scott.'' Jeff motioned to their visitor: ``You want him.''
``Jeffery...''
``It's true! And it's okay. I understand it.'' The kitten shrugged through a chuckle, ``I'm young, I remind you of your students, and you have a thing for kids! I uhm...'' he blushed, ``I turn you on. That's why you wanted me as a pet! And since then, you started to care about me...but just because you, y'know, WANT me, and just because you want me to be happy, doesn't mean that I'm who you want to spend the rest of your life with.''
``But shouldn't that be my decision to make?'' Scott offered a friendly, comforting smile.
``Only if you make it for yourself, and not for me,'' Jeffery returned the smile. ``I've seen how you look at James. I've heard how you talk about him. He's the one you really want.'' He looked the fox square in the eye, ``And I don't want you to be with me, unless I'M the one you really want.''
``And what if what I really want is for you to be happy?''
``It won't make me happy to be with you...if I know I'm not making you happy, too.''
Though muffled with his face in his paws, James returned to the fray with a whimper and an apology, ``I'm so sorry I got involved in this, Jeffery.'' He looked up from his paws, ``I'm screwing everything up.''
Scott argued first, ``James, no.''
But, although he did take a moment to note how quick Scott was to console the raccoon, Jeff wasn't far behind, ``It's okay! You didn't do anything wrong.'' He paused to look up at the sky, as if in thought, ``I mean...if you think about it, this makes more sense anyway, right?''
``Uhm...'' James squinted his eyes at the boy, ``I don't...''
``I'm only fourteen! Should I really be with somebody twice my age?''
``Ouch...'' Scott winced jokingly, ``Thanks for that, Kitten.''
``You know what I mean,'' and Jeffery playfully rolled his eyes in return. ``I'm probably too young to be making a lifelong decision like that anyway. That's something for me to do later, right? I mean, shouldn't I be spending right now being a kid? Dating around, getting to know people, playing the field? I'm sure both of you got to do that, didn't you?''
``A bit,'' James rubbed his neck...
...and Scott laughed halfheartedly, ``More than a bit.''
``See? So this is better for all of us! I shouldn't be standing in the way of what the two of you could have, when I can still have a life of my OWN!'' The young cat held a paw out toward Scott, ``And besides, what if I stayed with you and then changed my mind about it later? What if I decided that I'd missed getting to sleep around in college, and regretted everything? Then I would've ruined your chances with James for nothing!''
Scott, though, continued undaunted, ``But it's still worth taking the chance, if it's what makes you happy, now!''
``No. It really isn't.'' Jeff held up his paws, ``Look: this way, we all have the best chance of getting what we want, and being happy in the end, you know? You two get each other, and I get to spend the rest of my high school and college years looking for the perfect guy.'' He shook his head as he amended: ``Or the perfect GIRL, even! I mean, I never exactly gave up on girls. I should probably try it out at least ONCE before I give up on it, right?''
The fox raised an eyebrow, ``And here I thought I was the perfect guy.''
``And you are. But not just for me.'' Jeffery turned a smile on James, ``You're HIS perfect guy too. And I can't stand in the way of him having that.''
Since he was being looked at, even if not spoken too, James responded, ``But...wouldn't I be standing in the way of YOU having it?''
``Yeah!'' Scott agreed, ``What about you having YOUR perfect guy?''
``Or girl,'' Jeff added.
``Or girl.''
The kitten, though, was resolute, ``Like I said: I have plenty of time to find the perfect...whoever that are.'' His smile widened, ``And besides! Think of all the fun I get to have along the way! Especially with you two as like my...parental figures or whatever.''
``I don't get it though,'' James hummed in confusion as he scratched the back of his neck. ``Wasn't it just like a week ago, when you were wanting exactly the opposite?''
``It was a little bit longer than that,'' Scott corrected him.
``Whatever.'' The raccoon just waved him off, and got back to talking to Jeffery, ``A week and a half ago -- at the most -- ALL you wanted was to be with Scott!''
``I'm a teenager. We change our minds a lot.''
Scott could barely restrain his laughter, but managed to maintain his composure enough to address what the boy had said. ``Okay...so what if we do this, like you want, and then you change your mind again, later?''
Jeffery took a moment to consider that, but met it with a smile and a shrug, nonetheless, ``If so, then it'll be my problem. Not yours.''
The kitten's eyes were on Scott, but to the side they caught a smile, which James just couldn't seem to contain, spreading across his muzzle. And at the sight, Jeff's own gentle and welcoming grin turned triumphant.
He had won. He knew he would, because he knew they would want him to. And it was only a matter of time until he wore them down, and until they'd run through their few token arguments. The raccoon already had given in...
...and the fox wasn't far behind, ``Are you really sure about this?''
Scott's smile was the same comforting grin he always gave his soon-to-be-former boyfriend: loving and kind. In his eyes, though, there was a hint of hope: a hope that this wasn't a joke, and that Jeffery was serious. That hope, however faint, had been there since Jeff first said he would step aside, but now, as the fox had finally exhausted his every compulsory argument, it was shining brighter than ever.
And if Jeff hadn't been sure, already, that would have confirmed it, ``I am.''
Scott's smile, widened -- certainly despite his best efforts to the contrary -- and he shared a short glance with James before finally opening his muzzle to make it official. ``Well, I guess-''
``But!'' Jeffery, though, cut him off before he could finish. He hadn't changed his mind, but he wasn't quite done, yet. ``There is...ONE more thing.''
Both of the adults were somewhat caught off guard, and found themselves struck silent...clearly unsure and uneasy about whatever it was that Jeff wanted. So, in that silence, he continued on...
``I still,'' the kitten was going to say `I still love you,' but decided against it. Scott already knew; so why complicate things further? ``I'm still not sure how comfortable I am with the idea that...that JAMES is the one you'll be having sex with now, instead of me.''
``Are you...'' Scott hesitantly asked for clarification, ``are you asking us to abstain?''
``What? No!'' Jeff recoiled at the thought. ``No. That would just be...weird. How would that even work? How would you even really BE with him if I wasn't letting you have sex?''
The fox paused for a long moment, scanning the boy, ``Then I'm not sure if I understand.''
``Well, I mean...'' Jeffery felt his ears burning as be began, and was certain that he was visibly blushing, ``I can't exactly live here for free, right? Didn't we have an arrangement?''
Sputtering at first, from shock, Scott laughed aloud at the answer, ``You're saying you still want to be my pet??''
``Well not...JUST yours,'' with an impish grin, the cat turned an eye on James...
...whose own eyes widened as he, too, blushed brightly in response.
And Scott just shook his head at James's reaction and continued addressing his kitten, ``But doesn't this just put us right back in the same spot we were in, before? The day James first visited?''
``Basically? Except that it's MY decision this time. For real.'' Jeff shrugged and fidgeted in his seat as he tried to explain, ``It's just that...I wanna' know I can be involved if I want. I mean: I understand that you two'll do stuff without me. I know that the two of you'll be `the couple' and I'm just...uhm...'' he stopped and tilted his head. What exactly WOULD he be considered now? ``...your pet, or adpted son, or roommate, or...whataver...''
``It really does need its own special word.''
``Well, whatever! But I just want to know that I'm not excluded, y'know? I don't want to be left out.''
The fox nodded to the request, ``I am completely certain we can handle that, Kitten.''
``Wait!'' James's voice shot up suddenly...
...and Scott and Jeffery stopped instantly -- with no small amount of surprise -- to look his way.
``Uhm...like...what are we really talking about here?'' The raccoon's brow was furrowed, and he was scratching his head, ``I mean: are we only talking about threesomes? Like, me and Scott are doing something, and then you come in and find us and want to join in? Or...or are we talking like normal twosomes, too? Like...say if me and you were alone for some reason?'' He began to stutter and stammer, clearly having trouble determining the `proper' way to explain himself, ``And I mean, you're supposed to be my pet, too, right? So would I...uhm...or that is: could I be within my rights to...y'know, command...?'' he stopped and shook his head, trying to pick a better word than `command.' ``O-or rather: could I ASK that...uhm...?'' finally giving up, he simply trailed off with a cough, as he looked away and lowered his ears to hide his ever growing blush.
For a few long moments, his hosts simply stared at him in silence -- only causing his blush to deepen -- but soon, their gazes turned upon one another...
Jeff raised an eyebrow at the fox, and Scott responded with a tilt of his head and a flick of his muzzle in James's direction. The cat glanced at their guest -- directly at his lap -- and then looked back at Scott, with BOTH eyebrows now raised questioningly. And Scott just smiled, nodded, and repeated the flick of his muzzle.
James, meanwhile, could only watch their silent exchange in bewilderment, without a clue what they were up to...until a little gray paw lit in his lap.
With a bit of fondling and a generous squeeze, Jeffery wrapped that paw around the raccoon's rigid, cotton covered member, ``Yep!'' He released it and turned back to Scott, ``Hard as a rock.''
And Scott simply shook his head with a laugh, ``How am I not surprised?''
At first, James was frozen -- dazed by the touch -- but that shock quickly gave way to frustration, as he glared at his two snickering hosts, ``Yeah...you know that's not exactly an answer, right?''
