Black gloved paws lay intertwined in a fox's lap, his eyes focused on their clasped fingers as he spoke, his story drawing to an end. And only a foot away, his captive audience of one -- a small gray cat -- sat huddled against a headboard, defensively hugging a pillow larger than his own torso...
``It took an argument,'' Scott rocked nervously where he sat on the edge of the bed, ``but eventually, I got him to listen to me.''
``And you talked him out of it,'' Jeffery responded flatly, a question posed as a statement.
``I did.'' The fox finally looked up from his paws and at the kitten to his side. His young lover thus far had been much too quiet, and it worried him, ``You understand why I had to do it, right?''
``Yeah,'' Jeff nodded shortly, but his voice remained dull and blank.
The list of possible reasons for his kitten's sullen mood was too long to even consider -- bad memories, new fears, and a quarrel with Scott's actions to name a few -- but there was only one of them Scott could hope to remedy: ``I'm sorry I lied, Jeffery. I'm sorry I didn't tell you where I was gonna' be tonight, but I just,'' he took a breath and let it out in a sigh, ``I didn't know how things would go. And I was already anxious enough without the thought that you were back here worrying about me.''
The cat only nodded.
``But...either way, it's over now, okay?'' Scott offered a soft smile.
``How do you know it's over?'' Finally, Jeffery looked at him, ``It's not like you're there to stop him, anymore.''
The fox was hesitant to respond, but did, ``...well, he's not there to do it, anymore, either. I asked him to come back with me, so we could-''
``He's here?'' Jeff cut him off.
``He is. I thought it would be best if we were all together, tonight, after-''
``Where is he?''
``He's in the living room. I told him to follow me in, after I'd had the chance to get you back here to the bedroom.'' Scott scanned his kitten for a moment, watching as the boy's eyes darted about in his head, ``Him being here...it's not a problem, is it?''
The cat didn't answer. ``I wanna' talk to him.''
``Uhm, s-sure. Of course! I thought you might want to.'' Though taken off guard by his former pet's forthrightness, Scott didn't argue. If that's what the boy wanted, and if it could help improve his mood, then he would have it. So without another word on the subject, Scott stood up and offered his kitten an open paw, ``Let's go.''
``No,'' Jeffery just shook his head at the offered paw. ``I want to talk to him by myself. Just me and him.''
``Why?'' the fox slowly retracted the paw.
Jeff looked his former master in the eyes, his own eyes still dark and blank, yet oddly confident, ``I'm not your pet anymore, right?''
``...right.''
``And doesn't that mean I have a right to privacy, if I want it?''
``Yeah. Yes, of course it does.'' At first, Scott thought to speak to his kitten -- to ask him what was wrong or what he could do -- but he restrained his usual motherly urges. Jeffery had already told him exactly what he could do. The boy wanted to talk to James, and he wanted to be alone. ``Would you like to go out there and talk to him in the living room? Or should I bring him back here.''
The cat thought for a moment, considering, even in this mood, what was best for his fox. Certainly Scott would be better off having the living room and its television to himself, instead of being trapped in here and bored, while he and James spoke. ``Send him back here.''
``You got it.''
Though he wasn't entirely certain if his kitten would accept it -- or if he even wanted to be touched -- Scott leaned in toward the boy, and planted a gentle kiss between his ears. And despite the situation and his otherwise dreary mood, Jeffery leaned into the kiss, offering his vulpine love a gentle smile as he stepped away and backed out of the room...
A Warm Bed Chapter 14 -
Culpa
(September 27th)
``Jeffery?'' The door to the bedroom cracked open, and a gray muzzle peeked inside, ``Kitten?''
From his new position at the foot of the bed, Jeff watched as the door inched open and as the raccoon's head and shoulders came into view. The young cat, though, said nothing, and even averted his eyes as they made contact with his guest's.
Smiling the friendliest smile he could manage, James stepped slowly into the room, ``Scott said you wanted to talk to me?''
Jeff still wouldn't look at him, but he at least managed, at some length, to stand up.
The raccoon shut the door behind him, ``Jeff?'' Though he was rapidly growing uncomfortable in the silence, he did close the distance between the two, meeting the cat half way between the bed and the door.
Jeffery's muscles tensed and his shoulders rocked. For a moment, he seethed in front of his visitor...but before the elder fur could speak, react, or respond, the boy finally boiled over. In a rush he lurched forward, tiny gray paws slamming against the cotton of James's shirt. ``What's wrong with you!?'' he screamed as he pushed the raccoon, an assault so startling that, despite their difference in size, it sent the elder fur stumbling back against the door, with a clattering thud.
``Jeffery!'' James held his paws up in shock and submission, ``Whoa! What are you-?''
``What were you thinking!?'' the young cat just yelled out again, pushing the raccoon more firmly against the rattling wooden door.
``I wasn't! Okay!?'' James snapped back, not sure what else to do but scream over the boy, ``I'm sorry! I wasn't thinking!'' He took a breath and lowered his voice, hoping to defend himself in a calmer tone, ``But, you've gotta' believe me: I never meant to put you or Scott in danger.''
``Scott? Me?'' Jeffery shook his head, his eyes beginning to shimmer with tears. ``I'm talking about YOU, you idiot!'' he gripped fistfuls of the adult's shirt with the paws still on James's stomach and chest.
``Me?'' The raccoon stammered back in confusion, ``I...I don't...''
``He could have killed you!'' Jeff shook the elder fur by his shirt to the best of his limited ability.
``Jeffery...'' James tried to laugh the idea off, with a grin and a chuckle...
But James could laugh, only because the Tony in his mind paled in comparison to the one lurking in the shadows of Jeffery's. In James's mind, he was just a wolf, but in Jeff's he was an honest-to-God monster. He was a demon and a nightmare the likes of which no one, least of all Jeffery and those he cared for, could hope endure. And to the terrified kitten, the sound of such flippant laughter was ludicrous...
``And you don't even care!?'' The cat squeaked, gripping the shirt tighter, ``You could have been hurt, and you don't even CARE!''
``No. It's not like that.'' James wrenched those tiny paws from the fabric, holding them in some futile attempt to be comforting, ``I was doing this for you! I thought it was what you would want.''
``And that's the problem! You put yourself in danger for ME! And you didn't even ask me!'' Jeff defiantly jerked his paws away, ``You really think I wanted to see you get hurt?''
``Jeffery, he wasn't gonna' hurt me,'' the raccoon assured him.
``But you don't know that!'' Jeff sniffled, tremoring as he cried before the elder `coon. His cheeks were already wet and his attempts to maintain his intimidating pose were faltering, but he pushed on nonetheless, ``Promise me this is over, damn-it! Promise me!''
James let out a sigh, and hesitated only a moment in responding. He had no intention of going back. Scott had already talked him out of it, and the simple fact that it had upset Jeff this much was more than enough to keep him from changing his mind. But some tiny stubborn voice in the back of his head refused to admit that Tony was any danger to him, and that was enough to make him hesitate to promise...even if only for a moment.
``Please, James. Please!'' nearly sobbing, the cat begged anew, interpreting the hesitation as a refusal. ``Just leave Tony alone! I couldn't...how am I supposed live with myself if I let you get hurt, because of me?''
But only the last bit caught James's ear, ``Because of you?''
``YES because of me!'' Jeff shot back. ``If it wasn't for me, you wouldn't've ever put yourself in that situation, to begin with! If I'd never met you...if I'd just kept my stupid mouth shut-''
``No!'' No matter what the kitten was feeling, the raccoon couldn't let something like that go without a fight. Tenderness be damned; ``No! Stop that. None of this is your fault, Jeffery.''
``Of course it is! All of this is! Everything!!'' Jeff's voice cracked again and again as he screamed, tremoring breaths bridging every silent gap, ``I keep fucking everything up, James! I'm ruining EVERYONE'S lives! And I can't do it again!'' His legs buckled and he fell, finally collapsing under the weight of all the guilt he'd been fighting back for so long, ``I can't!''
``Jeffery!'' not knowing what else to do, James knelt, swooping down and drawing the boy into a hug, one arm tight around his naked waist, and the other pulling his head onto his shoulder. ``Stop it, Jeffery. Stop.''
``No-o!'' The cat struggled in vain against the stronger fur's arms, trying desperately to pull away from the unbidden hug, but unable to even lift his head from the raccoon's shoulder. ``Promise me! Promise me, James!'' As he continued, time and again, he punctuated every his yelping scream with impotent strikes, pounding his fists against the larger fur holding him in place, ``I can't! I can't do it! I can't hurt anyone else! Just make it stop, James! Make it stop! Promise me. Promise...''
He could only carry on for so long though, his voice and his resolve growing weaker and weaker with every cry. And in time, his drumming fists and helpless screams tapered off, replaced slowly by the rumbling hum of a raccoon.
Soft and continual, James hushed the trembling kitten, loosening his grip just enough to pet the boy's back, and speaking only once he was calm enough to hear, ``I promise Kitten. I promise. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.''
``I just don't wanna' hurt anybody else. I'm so tired of it...'' By now, Jeffery's trembling pleas were barely more than mewls, and, save for finally hugging James back, he had fallen nearly limp in the adult's arms, ``I'm just so tired of fucking everything up...''
``Jeff? What are you talking about? You haven't done anything wrong.''
``Don't lie. E-everyone would be better off without me, and you know it...''
``That's not true, at all!'' the raccoon broke their hug, feeling the need to look the kitten in the eye for emphasis, but kept his paws firmly on the boy's shoulders.
``What about you and Master? What about my mom??'' Jeff's voice rose again, though still far from the scream it had been, ``All I ever did was piss my dad off! I made him angry, and then he'd go crazy and beat me and my mom. A-and so I ran away, but that only made him worse! I...I don't even wanna' THINK about what he's doing to her, now...but she hates me because of it! She won't even take my phone calls anymore, James...'' he stopped to take a breath, though not one long enough to afford the `coon a chance to respond. ``And then I met Master, and he was...he's so nice, and he took me in and took care of me, and we were happy. And...and then I go and ruin it all by letting Tony FUCK me!''
``Whoa!'' James snapped involuntarily at that, his paws gripping the boy tighter before he caught himself and relaxed, ``Whoa. You can't seriously think that THAT was your fault, Jeffery!''
``I could have stopped him, James! I could have run away, I could have hidden from him, I could have fought him off, I could have done...SOMETHING!'' though weak, the kitten's voice rose again to a scream, even if only for a moment. ``Or I could have just shut the fuck up and taken it! I...I mean I was a pet, right? I let Master fuck me all the time! It was my job! Why should Tony be any different?'' any reasonable sense would have told him that none of what he was saying was true, but in this moment, pain, guilt, and confusion had long outweighed logic and reason. ``But no! I had to throw a fit about it, like a stupid little bitch! And now Master feels guilty, and he blames himself and threw all of his alcohol out, and...and...''
``Okay!'' James finally spoke up to stop the boy. ``It's okay. Shh...'' softly hushing him yet again, James stood, but his paws never left the boy's shoulders as he bid him to stand as well. ``Let's move over here, Kitten.''
Jeffery followed the flick of the raccoon's muzzle, turning his eyes on his and his former master's bed. Without an argument, he gently took his guest's paw, and let himself be led the few feet to the bedside. His trembling and his tears never stopped, though, not even once he and James had taken their seats side-by-side on the edge of the bed.
The raccoon had never been trained for anything like this. He supposed he should have, seeing as it was his job to work with children, but he hadn't, nonetheless. He had no official education on what to do or not to do...but he had seen plenty of television. And cliche or no, on every show that he'd ever seen touch upon the subject, there was always one thing any child in this situation needed to be told. So perhaps it was what Jeff needed, too, ``It's not your fault, Jeffery.''
``But I...''
``No. What Tony did to you...it is NOT your fault,'' the adult repeated himself, a paw lying lightly on the kitten's back. ``You didn't want it. You didn't ask for it. You didn't deserve it. And no matter what else happened that night...it was HIS fault, not yours.''
Jeffery's eyes were on his feet, and his mouth lay hushed and still. For a long few minutes he sat there in the silence, simply watching those small gray footpaws draped against the overhanging comforter: no words, no movement but his breaths, and even his sniffling and sobs curiously absent. And once he finally did speak, it was as timid as James had ever heard, as if he hadn't even decided yet if he really wanted the raccoon to hear, ``...what if I enjoyed it?''
James responded with dark and immediate sarcasm, knowing that that wasn't the case, and betting that ridiculing the thought would make his point, ``You're telling me that you liked what he did? You'd want him to do it again?''
``No. But I...'' the cat abruptly stopped himself there, suddenly reconsidering even saying it out loud at all, let alone for the raccoon to hear.
But James didn't need him to finish. He knew exactly what he meant: ``You came.''
Jeff flinched and whimpered at the sound, eyes snapping shut as his claws dug into his knees.
``It's okay,'' the raccoon slipped his arm around the boy, pulling him gently against his side, as he calmly and earnestly reassured him, ``It's okay, Jeffery. It's still not your fault. And it doesn't make what he did okay.''
Again, Jeffery broke down in tears, wrapping his arms around the adult's waist and pulling himself close and tight, his soaked and sniveling face buried in James's shirt. And James, of course, levied no resistance, simply laying his arms atop the naked cat and petting him as he cried.
``You couldn't have stopped him,'' he began again, reinforcing Jeff's blamelessness on all fronts, should there still be any doubt. ``You couldn't have run away or fought him off. And it was never something you should've had to hide, either. You were right to talk about it. You were right to get help. And no one blames you for that, Kitten...especially not Scott.''
``Are you sure?'' the cat barely managed between his sobs.
``Scott took you in off of the street. He loves you. He chose to take care of you. He would NEVER want you to have to face something like this alone.'' James punctuated his assurances with a quick kiss on the boy's head, ``Neither of us would.''
Taking in another deep, trembling breath, Jeff leaned away from the raccoon, but remained, still, under his arm, ``But...it was my fault Tony was even here to begin with.''
``Now that's not even a little bit true,'' the raccoon raised an eyebrow, confused at how the boy could make such a leap.
``But it is! Master...'' Jeffery paused, only now realizing he'd been calling Scott `Master' this whole time, and finally corrected himself, ``Scott...he loved me. He was IN love with me, he wanted to BE with me, and I was too damn stupid to see it! I had every opportunity, but I never told him I felt the same way. I was trying so hard to pretend I that was still straight and that I was just being a good pet.'' He rubbed his paws together nervously in his lap, ``And I made him feel sad. I made him feel lonely. I hurt him, and that's the only reason he was even at the bar to begin with! He would never have even MET Tony if I hadn't...hadn't basically sent him off to do it!''
James met that with a friendly smile, ``Jeffery...now you're just being hard on yourself. There is no way you could have foreseen that. No one could have expected things to go that way. It's not your fault. And besides,'' he smiled wider and lightly shook the boy in his arm, ``If he hadn't been lonely, he would have never gone out with me, either!''
``See!?'' the cat looked up at the raccoon with a dejected conviction in his eyes. ``That's bad too! All that did was end up hurting you, when I finally decided to be honest! If I'd just said something sooner, he would have never met Tony, and you would have never been in the position to get hurt.''
``Jeffery...I want you to listen to me,'' James took hold of the boy's muzzle with his free paw, to make sure they kept eye contact. ``I don't regret a thing. It may hurt sometimes, but I wouldn't even CONSIDER doing away with that pain, if it meant having never gotten to meet the two of you. I wouldn't give you and Scott up for the world!''
``But you admit it! I AM hurting you!'' Jeff cited the one bit that could prove his point. ``You love him, you want to be with him, and I'm standing in your way!''
``And I already told you, Jeffery: I'm not mad about that.'' The raccoon shrugged, ``I mean, think about it. If anything, I'm the bad guy in all of this.''
``No,'' Jeff shook his head, not understanding that, at all. ``You haven't-''
``YOU were here first!'' this time, James cut HIM off. ``This is your home, and Scott is your fox. I'm the one who came in here and fucked up YOUR relationship! I'm the home wrecker, not you. You shouldn't be apologizing to me about anything. I should be the one apologizing to you.''
The cat shrunk a bit under the raccoon's arm, not sure how to take that...especially after all of the pain he'd so recently caused the elder fur, ``You...you don't have to do that.''
``All I want is for the two of you to be happy, Jeff,'' James rubbed the boy's arm, flashing his widest smile yet. ``THAT is what will make me happy.''
Jeffery was calmer now than he'd been since the raccoon first stepped through the door. The fur of his cheeks was slowly drying, his hiccups and sobs had long since faded away, and his voice, though weak and sore, had softened significantly from its earlier screams. However, his sniffling -- albeit sparse -- remained, his gaze was still cast down, and it was clear that his mood still had room for improvement. Moreover, James was certain that the kitten's unfounded guilt still lingered...and his job here wouldn't be done until he'd put a end to that as well.
``Jeffery, you need to understand: you're talking to ME right now. Not Scott.'' The raccoon finally moved his arm, turning to sit Indian style on the bed and face the young cat, ``I like you. You're a super sweet kid. But I'm not in love with you. And if I wanted to be bitter or upset with you...it wouldn't be hard for me to come up with a reason.'' The kitten winced noticeably at that affirmation, and his shoulders slumped, but the elder raccoon continued on to his point: ``So you really need to believe me when I say: you have done NOTHING wrong! Not to anyone. Of all people, I have every reason to feel like you have...but I don't.''
Jeff, though, was still unconvinced, ``But...''
``No. No buts.'' James went along, intent to tackle each of the boy's insecurities, one by one, if need be: ``Your parents? Your dad is an abusive and unforgivable prick! And I'm sorry your mother has to put up with him, but that's HER problem, not yours. You shouldn't have ever been exposed to him to begin with, and she has NO right to be upset with you for getting away from him. It was her job to protect you, but all she did was put you in danger.''
The young cat knew he was right...if for no other reason than that this wasn't the first time he'd been told as much. Weeks ago, now, Scott had told him the same thing: his parents' problems weren't his fault, and they'd done nothing to give him reason to owe them any loyalty or guilt. In the past six weeks, Scott had been a better parent than they ever had...and as of tonight, alone, so had James.
``And as for Tony,'' James continued, ``it doesn't matter what you and Scott had done, and it doesn't matter how your body reacted.'' He pointed for emphasis, ``Tony had NO right to do what he did to you! And nothing you can say makes it your fault that it happened. Nothing.''
Jeffery's first instinct, again, was to argue, but he stopped himself. Even though he knew everything James was saying was true, he still felt guilty. Somehow, no matter how unreasonable it was, he felt like he'd done something wrong. And then, as his own television memories came to mind, it dawned on him that he had fallen into the stock role of every violated child in every cookie cutter TV drama he'd ever seen...and his guilt gave way to embarrassment.
``You're only fourteen years old, Jeffery. You shouldn't've had to live through any of this: your family...living on the street...having to be someone's pet just for a home...what Tony did to you...none of it!'' The raccoon leaned in, a paw lighting softly on the boy's thigh, ``You have every right to be hurt, and to be confused...and you also had every right to hide what you were feeling, while you tried to figure out what all of this meant for you. Scott doesn't blame you for waiting before you told him you loved him, and neither do I. We understand. And nothing that came of it is your fault.''
Jeff couldn't help but smile at that, his first since shortly after Scott had gotten home. This kind of love and reassurance...six weeks ago, it was a concept so foreign to him that it was a dream and a fantasy: something he could only hope to someday feel, but never expected to find. But over those weeks since, Scott had proven it was both real and within his reach, and tonight, James was proving that Scott wasn't the only one capable of offering it.
The boy's smile, though, faded as quickly as it had come...because, after all, that was the real problem, wasn't it?
``Kitten...you deserve to be happy just as much as anyone else. And, in fact, after everything you've been through...you deserve it MORE!'' James leaned away again, ``And if Scott is what makes you happy, then he should be yours! And I will never resent you for that.''
And that was it. That was the problem. Jeffery had stolen away the man James loved -- he had stolen away his happiness -- but the raccoon could never resent him for it. THAT was the final hurdle the kitten just couldn't overcome.
James was right about nearly everything he'd said. Jeff's mother and father, both, had failed as parents, and the boy owed them nothing. There wasn't a thing the kitten had done or felt that excused Tony's actions or somehow made them his fault. And there was no shame in a fourteen year old boy, especially one in his situation, struggling with his sexuality...
But there was still one thing that Jeff just couldn't get past...and that was James.
James was amazing. He was every bit the friendly, loving, and helpful fur that Scott was. He had put himself in imminent danger only hours ago, just for Jeffery, and had been met with nothing but the boy's resentment for his trouble.
He'd faced the yelling, the cussing, and had even let the kitten attack him, and took it all in stride just to ease Jeffery's pain. He gained nothing, sexually or otherwise, from sitting here and helping the cat through his troubles. And he'd even spent this entire time with the naked boy without a single wandering paw or even -- as best Jeff could tell -- an errant lingering glance.
James was as good as they came. Jeff was as lucky to know him as he was to know Scott. And he'd repaid the raccoon's kindness by stealing away the man he loved.
Jeffery knew how that felt. And how could he forgive himself for inflicting that pain on someone so kind?
``James?'' he turned his eyes on the elder fur.
And the raccoon met them, ``Yeah?''
``Thank you.''
``You're more than welcome!'' James smiled again and patted the kitten on the shoulder, ``And if you ever need to talk to someone, again...just remember that you can always come to me, okay?''
``No,'' Jeffery shook his head and stammered to explain, ``I mean...thank you for that, too, but I wasn't thanking you for the talk.'' He took a breath and returned his visitor's smile, ``I was thanking you for Tony.''
``But I thought...?''
``Don't get me wrong; I'm glad you stopped. Or I should say: I'm glad that Scott STOPPED you. I don't want you to get hurt, no matter what the reason. But it means a lot that you risked yourself, like that...for me.''
The raccoon offered an apologetic shrug and smile, ``I'm sorry I couldn't see it through, kiddo...''
``Me too.'' Jeff slid forward, climbing into James's lap, and clung to him tightly in yet another hug, ``But I'd rather have you around...than see Tony hurt.''
~
Only a small few hours passed by. But they were long and tedious hours.
It was bad enough that his kitten and coworker were down the hall alone, talking about God-knows-what, and that Scott had to sit here wondering just why Jeffery didn't want him involved. It was bad enough, earlier, hearing the muffled screams and being bound by his promise of privacy to not go and snoop or check in on them. It was bad enough that he was left alone in the living room without any company, into the earliest hours of the morning...
But to top it all: there wasn't even anything worth watching on TV! Nothing good was on at this hour, as Friday night crept into Saturday morning. And the DVR offered no helpful alternatives, since every recorded show was off limits, thanks to Scott promising to wait and watch them with Jeffery.
Eventually, it was all he could take. A promise was a promise...but certainly, Jeff had had enough privacy, and Scott was quickly growing tired of being alone in a house built for one, but now party to three.
And so, Scott struck out from the living room, and to his bedroom, where he pushed open the door without a knock or a warning...only to find a sight he hadn't expected, but quickly realized he should have.
They were asleep.
They had left him alone for so long because they'd fallen asleep.
James was laid out on the bed, still clothed, and Jeffery was curled up at his side, head resting on the raccoon's chest. Scott's first thoughts alternated between musing over the fact that James was apparently a snorer, and wondering just how Jeff was managing to sleep through it...
His subsequent thoughts, though, were of surprise. But he wasn't surprised at what he saw. He was surprised with himself.
He wasn't jealous. Shouldn't he be jealous? No matter how he looked at it, a normal person, he felt, would be driven to an envious rage by the sight before them. His young lover was lying nude in the arms of someone else in THEIR bed! The raccoon he had so recently mused could be `the one' was asleep with a naked child! And neither of them had bothered to come find Scott, or invite them into his own bed to join them...
But the fox wasn't jealous. He wasn't angry; he wasn't sad; he even wasn't slighted. He was smiling.
No matter what arguments he could muster to be hurt and upset...he just wasn't. Instead, the sight of the two furs that he cared for most in the world, clinging to one another so closely, and resting there in such a loving and intimate a position...it was most wonderful thing he'd ever seen.
And with a flick of a light switch, and a silently closed door, he left them to their sleep...
~
(September 28th)
Coffee.
It had been a long time since he'd awoken to the smell. He couldn't even remember the last time he'd lived with someone who would rise and brew a pot before he was awake. Maybe it was his parents back in high school. No, it was probably his roommates in college. Surely, they did it sometimes, right? Or did they even drink coffee?
This morning, though, a smile split his muzzle and his eyes blinked open as the smell crossed his nose. It was a pleasant change. He'd always preferred to actually drink tea, but nothing smelled as inviting, first thing in the morning, as freshly brewing coffee...
And so he lifted his boxer clad body lazily up from the couch -- where he'd mostly-voluntarily chosen to sleep the night before -- and dragged himself slowly toward the kitchen, to find the source of the smell and the party responsible.
In the past six weeks, Jeffery hadn't brewed a single pot...and that could only mean...
``Scott!'' James looked up from the counter with a start, surprised by the fox stepping half nude into the kitchen. ``Did I wake you? I tried to keep the noise down,'' the raccoon smiled timidly as he sat aside a still empty mug.
``You're fine, James. It was the smell, not the noise,'' with a yawn and a stretch, Scott stopped and leaned against the counter. And as his eyes turned on his guest, a wicked grin flashed across his muzzle, ``So did you and Jeffery sleep okay?''
And that was exactly why the raccoon was startled and timid. When he'd woken up to find Scott passed out on the couch, there was no doubt the fox knew that he and Jeff had fallen asleep together...and he was entirely uncertain how his friend would take that. But, there was no reason to start being dodgy and shy now. They knew each other well enough to be honest, ``Yeah. He makes for a very good bed mate.''
``Don't I know it?'' Scott laughed slightly and then raised a playful eyebrow, ``So you two didn't...?''
``No,'' James shook his head and held up a paw as if swearing by his statement, ``I was good.''
The fox laughed more heartily at that, ``I wasn't just worried about YOU being good!''
``Fair enough,'' James returned the laugh, though in little more than a chuckle, ``but I don't think he was exactly in the mood to be friendly.''
``So I heard,'' though still smiling, Scott's voice took on a more serious tone.
``How much DID you hear?''
``Just raised voices. I couldn't make out anything specific.''
Assuming that that was the fox's way of fishing for information, the raccoon ventured to share, ``Well, he was uhm...''
``Nope.'' Scott, though, stopped him.
``No?'' James was surprised at that, having expected Scott to be more than a little curious.
``I don't wanna' know. He made it very clear last night that he wanted privacy, and I promised he'd get it. If he wants to tell me what you two talked about, then he can.'' The fox crossed his arms with a less than enthused shrug. He obviously wasn't entirely comfortable with the arrangement, but he was determined to uphold it, ``Otherwise, everything stays between you and him, just like he wanted.''
``Jeff's really lucky to have you, you know that?'' James shook his head with an almost skeptical smile, honestly taken aback that Scott took a promise like that so seriously, ``You're a great guy, Scott.''
``I'm not half as good as you.''
``What's that supposed to mean?''
Scott's smile was gone now, and his muzzle tilted low, watching the floor as he spoke, ``You really have to ask, after everything I've put Jeffery through?'' He took in a breath and let it out in a dark, cynical laugh, ``And I don't just mean with Tony, but with ME too! I found the poor kid on the street, and instead of wanting help him...I just saw the chance to make all of my perverted fantasies a reality.''
``But you still took care of him,'' the raccoon argued without missing a beat. ``You still took him in, and fed him, and saved him from the street.''
Scott, though, just shrugged the argument off, ``Right place, right time. Doesn't make me a saint.''
James approached his friend, lighting a paw on his shoulder, ``But it makes you something.''
``Yeah? Maybe.'' The fox looked at the paw, and then back to his coworker's face, ``But you're seriously telling me that you wouldn't have done better by him, if it'd been you?''
``I...'' James was slow to respond...
...and Scott cut him short before he could, ``James, you sat in my bedroom last night and held him while he cried. You let him fall asleep in your arms.'' His own arms finally uncrossed as he stood up straighter, ``Whatever was wrong, you took the time to make it better. You had no obligation to do it, and you didn't get anything out of it. Not even a friendly explorative paw.'' He smiled again with a shake of his head, ``It was completely and totally selfless.''
``He...'' the raccoon's paw pulled back from Scott's shoulder to nervously scratch at his neck, ``he deserved it.''
``Exactly,'' Scott stepped forward, closing the small gap between the two and taking his friend's free paw into his own. ``I am not HALF as good as you are.''
James's nervous scratching stopped, as he was pulled closer, nose-to-nose with the fox. ``I don't know...'' he gulped and licked his lips, eyes tracing the slope of his muzzle to where it met his friend's, ``You're better than you think.''
And they kissed.
One paw tugged another, and two chests pressed together, one bare but for its white fur and the other still hidden by cotton. But whose paw tugged whose was anyone's guess. Just as neither one could say with any certainty whose eyes closed first, whose lips moved the quickest to meet the other's, or whose tongue first daringly slipped free.
It just happened: neither worrying that the other might fight it, and neither waiting for a clear sign to proceed. James didn't kiss Scott this morning. And Scott didn't kiss James. The kiss just happened.
And as a fox's tongue invaded a raccoon's muzzle...as that raccoon's murrs rumbled through his covered chest and vibrated against the fox's bare...and as a pair of black paws gripped one another tight at their sides...
...a pair of tired feline eyes watched silent and unseen from the doorway.
