"I don't know them, but they know me. They judge me on what I look like, how I act, how I talk, how I do things... They even make fun of my name and my family. I'm small. They are taller. They come in packs of two or three. Sometimes more. They follow me until they corner me against the wall. They stand tall, casting a shower over my body. They talk trash to me, venting their anger onto me, making me feel small and pathetic. They push me or hit me whenever I try to walk away or talk back. I don't like talking back or getting into arguments. I'm too nice. I don't want to get mad or violent. Its who I am... They don't leave me alone until I start crying or if a police officer is near them. It's not just out in public, but online as well. They attack me. They email and text things to me. They post cruel lies about me or embarrassing secrets that they somehow got ahold of on online public forms. More people start to abuse me because they want to join in the fun, some I know personally. They don't stop. They just smile and continue to treat me like I'm worthless."
"I break like a fragile glass vase. I have no time to heal after each attack. The more I question why they do this to me, the more I lose myself. I start to believe them when they say I'm worthless. I start to cry. I hurt myself, punishing my own being for being so weak and pathetic. I lose myself, thinking that they are right about my life. I am waited space. If Im not strong, I should not exist in this world. I think terrible thoughts. My friends intervene. They keep me down on my knees so I don't run away. They try to grapple my arms so I don't do damage to myself. They tell me to stop crying when my face is wet with tears. They try to say good things about me when my ears are folded back. I told them I want to kill myself... They hug me, tightly, keeping me close until their own shirt is wet with my tears and drool. They keep me still until I'm too weak to even sit up anymore. They say my name, trying to bring my true self out of the pit of depression and self-doubt. They try to repair what those Life Destroyers did to my soul and mind. My friends don't want to see me suffer so much. They say I'm a good person. They say that good people are always the easiest to hurt because they weren't brought up to hate others. I listen to their advise. They don't leave until I pass out. When I wake, they still remain by my side. They won't leave me alone until I smile; a real smile. That's when they know Im healing. I am."
This was inspired by the fact that I myself was bullied, online and offline, know friends who were victims, as well as newspaper articles about students and young adults committing suicide because they are constantly bullied at school, in public, online or at home. I was never a bully, so I don't really know what goes on in their heads when they find someone to constantly make fun of, tease, ridicule or beat and continue to do it until the bullies are tired of that person or if the victim is mentally and spiritually broken or even in the hospital. Why bully someone you don't know? How does it them feel big and strong; picking on the weak and the good? is it a sense of power or control? Is it to make someone's life even more miserable because the bullies are? Is it a territorial thing? Is it because they are bored? Is it to impress their friends or love ones? Race? Favoritism? I never really understood that part of human behavior. Everyone has issues and problems in their lives. Why be part of that problem for someone else when fate, life and nature constantly test you every day?
This is where great true friends come into play. They are the ones to help you up when you fall. They mentally and spiritually drain themselves just to get you back on your feet when you are kicked down. They even go to lengths to physically force you down or grapple you when you are hurting yourself physically. They don't leave until you stop crying. They don't stop telling you good things about yourself until you smile. Friends are the guardians of your life. They are there to protect you and help you when you need it. When they are down, you do the same. Sometimes you know their pain because you been in their shoes before. This makes them feel like they are not alone in the world. They are there to help you, and you know who is your closest friend when you are clouded by an cold shadow and they are there to pull you back into the light.
What do you think?
STOP THE HATE
Life Destroyers. Life Rebuilders. © 2011 Alex Cockburn
6 years, 11 months ago
03 Sep 2011 16:05 CEST
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