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Heroes of Legend -- The Hardest Part
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Heroes of Legend -- Also Ran

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Keywords male 1115073, female 1004836, raccoon 34091, cheetah 14820, monkey 9188, space 7354, superhero 3895, god 3248, hero 2961, metal 2164, wolverine 1479, gorilla 1353, aliens 1338, coon 1288, heroes 704, legend 693, sea otter 511, superheroes 489, waves 441, demigod 366, osprey 221, invasion 128, super powers 44, poseidon 39, invaders 12, silverback 11, hanuman 7, v22 2, heroes of legend 1, speedblur 1, minicopter 1
"I can hold my breath for a really long time!" the young sea otter said. "I mean a really long time, two or three hours!"

Hanuman, the Monkey King, looked aside to Metal Coon. Murphy, in his articulated, titanium-alloy power armor, looked back. Although the genius inventor's face didn't show through the suit mask, the Hindu monkey god could tell from the slump in his friend's shoulders that he wasn't impressed with the otter either.

"I can call sea creatures to aid me! They obey my every command. Well, except cetaceans or pinnipeds, they're people of course, but they usually help me too."

"Look," said Metal Coon, "I'm just not feeling love for this..."

"I can control waves!" the otter cried.

“Okay, that's a little more impressive. What can you do with them?"

"I... ah..."

"You really can control waves, can you not?" the monkey king said.

"I'll show you!" The otter stood up from the table and marched across the patio to Murphy's lavish, in-ground pool. He slowly raised and lowered his hands. Each time, a single wave raced across the pool, higher every time until...

"That's like what, four inches high?" Murphy snarked.

Hanuman raised a professorial digit. "Even a small wave will wear down a sea cliff in time," he intoned.

Murphy grunted dismissively. He stood and reached his metal-gloved hand into the cylinder on his hip. Striking up his trademark heroic pose, he aimed the cylinder at the otter's wave. The weapon shrieked briefly as a pulse of force shot into the pool, emptying it all over the lawn. (It immediately started to refill itself.)

"Don't call us," he grunted, "we'll call you."

"But I haven't shown you my transformation sequence. It's really cool, look!"

The otter raised his hands above his head, but Metal Coon was already bearing down on him. Hanuman kicked out of his chair, back flipped over the table and landed between them.

"I will show him out," the monkey king said, his voice full of authority.

Murphy kicked down hard. Jets fired briefly from cylinders on his calves. He was pushed above and over the table and landed in his chair. "Fine," he grumbled. "Bring the next candidate while you're at it."

Hanuman took the otter by his arm and lead him through Murphy's huge backyard to the driveway, where a line of would-be heroes stretched back to the street and along it for a block.

"Do not let Murphy get you down," the monkey king said, as they went. "He has been in his armour all day and he probably still has a hangover from last night. I am truly surprised that he is not yet sucking down coolers. It is Otter King, yes?"

"It's... um... Otor," the otter replied. "Prince Otor of the Ocean Realms."

Hanuman stopped and grasped the young otter's shoulder. "Of course, you are King Poseidon's boy! How is your father?"

"Well, as always. He sends greetings."

"Did he really send greetings?"

Otor sighed. "I forgot, you can hear lies. I meant that my father would... erh..."

"He would have sent greetings if he had known that you were coming."

"You guessed that."

"Your father has fought beside me often, I know him. He would never have approved of you applying to Heroes of Legend! Why do you defy him?"

"I'm just so sick of being the palace brat!” Otor cried. “Father goes out with the troops and sticks his trident into all kinds of trouble all the time! My brother is the Captain of the Guard, he trains with father's trident! You know what I do in my spare time? Play chess! Father lets me study tactics, but I don't even know how to throw a punch! I study diplomacy. I was at the United Nations twice. Father won't even let me use my powers! I'm supposed to be... I dunno..."

The monkey king looked into the Otor's face as if he was reading the young otter's soul. Then he looked away at the line of would be heroes.

"You!" he called to a spandex clad cheetah girl at the front of the line. "Follow this path to the table. Leave the path and you will be burned in half by lasers. When you get to the table, tell Metal Coon I will be right back. Come with me, Otor," he added. "I have something to show you."

#

Hanuman lead Otor down a side way to a row of statues standing in lines on either side of the path.

"Do you know where you are, boy?"

"The Row of the Fallen," Otor whispered. "The heroes who died defending the Earth."

"Our members who died one way or another, actually, but most of them did die fighting crime."

Otor looked from statue to statue. "Peril Rat," he said, pointing to the first. "Radio Moose, Fantastic Panda..."

"Over here," Hanuman called. "Do you know this fallen hero?"

The monkey king stood in front of a sea otter girl. She'd been very beautiful, her marble likeness was nearly lifelike in its graceful, powerful stance, the strength and kindness in its visage. Otor spent several seconds just looking.

"Otterly," Otor murmured.

"Your mother," Hanuman said.

"She's buried here?"

"There was not enough of your mother left to bury, son! Did Poseidon never tell you the story?" (Otor shook his head.) "Dementia was threatening to set the atmosphere on fire with some kind of fusion rocket. Your mother found him first. She had just given birth to you, she was only supposed to track him until Poseidon, Murphy and I arrived. Then Dementia started something that seemed like an activation sequence. She was not the best hero to fight him, but she was the best available. She tried to use her wave control to flood the thruster. But he spotted her. He waited until Poseidon arrived. Then he fired it. Your mother did not live a second in the fusion flame. Her body was consumed within three. Your father saw it happen and could not do a thing."

Hanuman watched Otor watching him back.

"What about Dementia?" Otor cried.

"Oh, he is long gone now."

"How?"

"Never mind Dementia, this is about your father..."

"Please, Lord Hanuman! Tell me!"

The monkey king sighed. "Murphy pounded the rocket's upper balance stage with power pulses until it's beam was not coherent any more. Instead of igniting the atmosphere, the whole rig shot up into space, with Murphy and Silver Back shooting holes in what they were pretty sure was his control cabin. He probably either asphyxiated or was crushed by the acceleration. Anyway, as soon as it was outside the atmosphere, Planetary Defense hit it with a nuke, just to make sure. Ironically, they used a trident missile," he added. "We found and torched all of his old hideouts and he has not been seen since, so he is gone.

"Otor, can you imagine how your father felt? He loved your mother so much! She was gone in a blink! For months he looked for her, waited for her, even though he knew there was no chance. He was never the same, son. He lives now only for his children. Losing you..."

"But Lutra, he trains Lutra..."

"One day your father will die, son! I hope that he will grow too old to fight or to rule before that happens and retire. But he is a warrior, like me, and a demi-god, so his life will be very long. There is a very good chance that he will die fighting. And either way, your older brother will have to take his place and live the same dangerous life, face the same risks that your father does. But you do not! You are the younger son, you can avoid that life and all the danger!"

"But that's not what I want! I want him to respect me! He won't even give me a chance! Why can't I be me?"

Hanuman chuckled. "You do not realize. Look up at your mother's face again." (Otor looked up.) "Do you notice anything familiar?"

Otor looked closely at the statue's face. "I never knew my mother..." He looked down again. Hanuman had magicked up a hand mirror. Otor looked from the statue's face to his own and back.

"The same nose," Hanuman said, smiling. "The same kind mouth. The same chubby cheeks. The same eyes too, although you cannot tell from the statue. So dark and deep and soulful. You are the very image of your mother, Otor. For your father, losing you would be like losing your mother a second time. Please do not ask him to risk that, he could not. He does love you, boy."

Otor looked away, deep in thought. "But I'm a prince," he murmured. "I have these amazing powers. I just want to be what I really am." He gave Hanuman a pleading look. "Why can't I use my powers to do good?"

"You know, as an ambassador, you will speak with your father's voice. That is a power too. You will do good for your own people and through that for the people of any nation Atlantis deals with."

Otor looked down and nodded sadly. He opened his mouth, as if to say more, then sighed and closed it again.

Hanuman frowned. "Then again," he added, "you are a real prince, and the son of a hero, and you will be a diplomat. All of those are targets for kidnapping, even assassination. You will always be well protected..."

"Even in the bathroom!" Otor grumbled.

"Yes, that is more than I needed to know. But you really ought to be able to defend yourself, too. Just in case. I will speak to your father."

Otor looked up, surprised, then grinned and grasped the monkey king in a tight hug. "Thank you, Lord Hanuman!" he cried.

Hanuman chuckled and returned the embrace. "Do not count on it happening any time soon. With this recruiting drive, it will take a while."

"Whenever convenient, Sir." Otor pulled away. "Sir, may I ask one other thing, please?"

"I just promised to try to convince your father to let you learn to be a fighter, even though you are never going to fight and despite him wanting to keep you away from violence. What more do you want?"

"Is it okay if I leave that way, across the yard?" he said. "It's the short way to the ocean, so I can get home a little sooner."

Hanuman shrugged and chuckled. "Before our father notices, you mean. We know who you are and why you are here. Murphy will not care as long as you are leaving." He snorted. "By now he is probably busy boning that cheetah girl anyway. Please give my regards to your father," he added.

Otor bowed to the monkey king. Hanuman bowed, (not quite as low), to the otter prince. Otor then turned towards the ocean. After a few steps, he stopped and looked back. "Are the lasers still on?" he asked.

“What lasers?"

Otor giggled and went his way.

#

The alarm sounded as Hanuman arrived at the pool. Sure enough, the table was manned only by coffee cups. Metal Coon was inside the pool's cabana. He was struggling with his armor while the cheetah girl, blushing furiously, pulled her panties out of spandex remnants. Hanuman grabbed a phone from one of the posts that held the tent up and dialed an extension.

"Talk to me, Silver Back." He listened to the phone for a minute. "My goodness!" he said.

"What is it?" Murphy exclaimed.

"General alarm, then. Just call everyone and give them the coordinates, you know the drill. No, big guy, we will probably need you too. I will get one of the recruits to take the big board. Yes, see you there."

"Hey Han!" Murphy yelled. "What am I dressing for here?"

"Aliens, ten ships, Manhattan scale. They landed in the ocean forty miles out from here, making for land. Planetary Defense makes them out as hostile. You, cheetah girl! Super speed, yes?"

"I can run at any speed short of light," she replied. "But my clothes..."

"Has spandex ever survived a super speed run?"

"Well... no..."

"Run down the beach. There is an otter boy on his way across the lawn to swim home, he does not know that he is swimming into danger."

"But my clothes..."

"Would be tatters by the time he sees you anyway. The kid is the son of King Poseidon!"

"Aw, you're kidding me!" Metal Coon cried. “That half baked kid? Jeeze, Poss'll never forgive us! Go, Lisa, run!"

With no further prompting, the cheetah girl dropped into formal starting position, raised her tail and turned into a speed blur, leaving a silhouette of passage in the tent wall and a trail of brief footprints across the pool.

"My goodness," said Hanuman, "she really is fast!"

"That's for sure!" Murphy snickered. "Gimme a hand, I need my submarine armor..."

Before he could finish the sentence, Lisa was suddenly there, panting hard. "...gone..." she gasped. "...saw where... footprints... sand... int' water..." She shook her head. "...too late..."

"Crap!" said Murphy. "Help me get my tail armor on, no time to change!"

"Wait, Lisa, you ran across the pool! Why not on the ocean?"

She shook her head. "Too choppy," she gasped, "trip f'sure..."

"All right, help Murphy with his armour. Then go up to the house and relieve Silver Back on the big board so that he can join the fight. I will go back to the recruiting line."

"What?" said Murphy. "What for?"

"To bring them to the Osprey, of course! We have ten ships approaching, each the size of a city, weapons and intentions unknown. We need every hand, trained or not!"

#

"You lot!" Hanuman cried.

The entire line of would-be heroes turned to the monkey king. Hanuman waited until every eye was on him.

"Now listen to me, you sad sack of wannabes! There are ten big alien space ships heading this way. Between them and the Earth there is only one thing standing and it is us! I do not know which of you is worth standing beside and there is no time to test you all. In fact, it is now or never! So I leave it to your hearts and your consciences. If you are sure that you will be able to help with this fight, not just get in the way, if you can face the possibility that you might not be coming back, then follow me, now!"

Hanuman turned and walked away. At first, the would-be heroes just stood there. Then somebody loudly said, "God help me!" and a lone wolverine ran after the monkey king. Then a few more followed him....

#

Metal Coon spotted Otor after a few minutes flight. He was headed straight towards a row of ten aerodynamic towers poking out of the ocean. They were probably hidden to him by choppy waves, but high above, Metal Coon could see domes opening and pointy things emerging. "Yell," he said. A control in his helmet beeped. "Otor!" he cried, his voice amplified by his suit. "Stop, kid! You're swimming into danger!"

Otor looked up. For a moment, he seemed puzzled. Then he realized what the hero flying over him had said. Immediately, he dove.

"Yell! Otor, no, swim back! Aw shit..." Murphy realized that his curse had been amplified too and growled. "General Call," he ordered. "Murphy to base," he said. "I found Otor, but he dove on me. This suit has no way to track him underwater. Tell Hanuman to load the sonar buoys."

"This is Speed Blur," the radio replied. "Hanuman already left with the recruits, maybe one of them can help. But I'll tell Silver Back to load sonar buoys on the... uh..."

"He can't carry those big suckers on his mini copter! Hanuman, you hearing this?"

"I can carry one!" a gravelly voice called back. "Silver Back airborne. If I place it right, that's all we need."

"Hanuman en route. I will see if I have a useful talent on board. Stay put Murphy, send us a beacon."

"Roger, out. Beacon," he added, to his helmet. It started pinging. "Where the hell is that stupid kid... Shit! General Call! Metal Coon to Hanuman, Metal Coon to Silver Back! Otor just surfaced again, he has... That's gotta be one of the aliens with him! It looks aquatic, maybe insect, gills on its neck, scaly, kinda grey, hands could be webbed. And the kid is talking to it! Attack mode, target right. I'll try to take the kid alive for his dad to judge."

Metal Coon reached his hand into the cylinder on his hip as the suit moved his other hand with its balance thruster to compensate. He aimed at the gently rolling alien craft below. The cylinder shrieked...

#

"Damn! Missed!" Metal Coon's voice told the heroes on their V22 Osprey. "A wave threw them aside as I fired. Hey, doesn't the kid control waves? That son of... That proves it, he's on their side! They're moving... wait, Otor's overboard. I'm starting my run on the alien. Gawdam kid's swimming after him."

Hanuman pressed the push-to-talk on the hand mike he was holding. "Hanuman to Metal Coon," he called, "try the new target mode. I will try to pick up Otor."

"I don't get it," the young wolverine said. "Why are we trying to arrest the kid? He's the son of a hero, you said."

"He is royalty," the monkey king replied. "Through history, I have seen royal family turn on each other for all kinds of reasons. Otor is upset with his father because he wants to train to be a hero himself and his father forbids it."

"He's betraying the whole world just for that?"

"I know, it does not seem like Otor to go that far. But I have seen sons betray fathers for less than... His father wants Otor to..." Hanuman slapped his palm to his face. "Hanuman to Murphy! Break break break! Do not attack! Otor is a trained diplomat, he is probably trying to avoid a fight and he might be able to do it! Acknowledge!"

#

“Minimum volume!” Murphy growled. He followed the alien craft as it ploughed through the swells towards the leading mother ship. The ocean beneath him began to heave heavier and heavier. It slowed the alien scout craft a little, but his suit was faster anyway. He glanced back at Otor, who was trying to keep up, failing but struggling on. The water had nearly reached hurricane waves although the wind was steady. Murphy ignored all that, focusing on the alien below him. He pulled ahead, turned and aimed, keeping the creature in his sights. Far behind, he noticed Otor raise his hands. Suddenly, alarms went off in his helmet. His ankle jets spun down. His suit ejected his weapon and snapped both hand jets to his side, but his balance thrusters alone merely slowed his fall.

#

"Metal Coon, man down! I'm in the drink, sinking fast!"

"Murphy, get out of your suit, get some boyancy! We are coming!"

"Silver Back to Hanuman, I'm on it! Buoy in the water, you stay on the target!"

"Lord Hanuman," the wolverine cried, "look at that!"

Below the big plane, Otor was calling out. He was pointing in the direction that Metal Coon had sunk. Two wakes were speeding towards it. The wakes dove. A few seconds later, Metal Coon rose above the waves, his arms held in the mouths of a pair of elephant seals. Otor called to them and pointed towards shore. The huge seals carried the fallen hero to safety. Otor started swimming again, after the alien scout craft.

"...uh, Lord Hanuman?" said the wolverine. "What now?"

Hanuman moved a selector switch on the mic. "Hover mode please, Jarvis, and open the lower hatch. " Hanuman set the mic in its clip on the wall. “Now,” he replied, "someone is going to lower me down on the sea cycle and I am going to go take personal responsibility for the safety of our young diplomat, just in case. Do any of you have experience handling a winch?"

#

"...so you see father," Otor concluded, "they left Earth originally seventy million years ago. They want to return from the stars. But their home is in the ocean depths, where even we Atlanteans can't travel. It's likely to be quite rare that they have anything to do with Atlantis or the land dwellers. If anything, there's a possibility of peaceful trade. Imagine what we could learn from people millions of years more advanced than us!"

Hanuman leaned close to Murphy's ear. "Imagine trying to fight them," he whispered. "We probably would not even recognize their weapons."

"That's a crap load of pocky!" Murphy growled back. "I saw what was coming out of their domes."

"But you are not certain what they were, are you?"

"Weapons!"

"And what would those weapon have done?"

"...they'd... weapon?" Murphy scowled, tried to cross his arms, nearly dropped his helmet, then settled for looking away. Hanuman chuckled.

Poseidon smiled. “Peaceful trade benefits all," he told the ambassador, "and would be welcome. Atlantis, being closest to you, would be the logical choice to open negotiations, but that decision is for the world to make as a whole and will take time. For now, please let me be the first to welcome your people home."

The big sea otter set his trident aside, (Lutra took and held it), and offered a webbed paw to the alien ambassador who stood beside Otor. The sea creature looked at it for a few seconds, then imitated Poseidon with an odd, spindly arm. The otter king grasped the ambassador's hand and held it for a few seconds. Cameras flashed in the small audience of reporters.

The ambassador glanced around at the flashes. "Recording devices?" he chittered.

"Yes," Poseidon replied, as he released the other's hand. "This is an important day, the world must see that it is ending peacefully."

"Acceptable. I will return to our lead ship now and report that war will not be needed."

The sea creature turned and walked towards a pool in the floor of the chamber which lead to the open ocean.

"For now, this is all," Poseidon intoned. "Let us return to our homes and give thanks for peace in our own ways. Members of the press, Heroes of Legend will issue a statement later. Otor, not you."

"That's our cue," Murphy grunted. He and Hanuman approached Poseidon's throne with Otor.

"You nearly drowned my friend today," Poseidon said.

"I knew there were seals nearby who could save him!"

"Poss," Murphy added, "the kid was right, I was about to do something stupid..."

"...and nearly started a war that would have wiped us all out. I watched the video from the Osprey. Murphy, you're very smart, but you have to learn self-control!"

"I have told you this before, you know," Hanuman added.

"Otor, " Poseidon continued, "have you been exercising your powers? Did I not forbid you?"

"I'm sorry, father. I won't do it anymore."

"It's a bit late for that! No training but your own and you're nearly as strong as your mother! Now... now there's no choice. With power like that, you mustn't be left untrained. Lutra!"

"Yes Father?"

"Start your brother's training."

Hanuman coughed. "As we were saying earlier..."

Poseidon held up a hand and nodded. "Teach Otor to defend himself as well. Let us hope he never needs to."

"Yes, father. What about the trident?"

"No! Otor only needs to control himself and defend himself."

"Wait father, just hear me..."

"The decision is made, Lutra!"

"Brother, no!" Otor cried. “Father is wise. If he forbids me to learn the trident, then I don't want to learn it." He knelt beside Poseidon and laid his head in the big otter's lap. "I scared myself today," he said. "I did too much that I didn't know I could do. I should have listened to you in the first place. I love you, father."

Poseidon stared for a moment. Then he stroked Otor's head. "My poor son," he said. "You don't know what you've started."

"Come brother," Lutra said. "I've much to teach you. We might as well start now."

Otor stood and went to Lutra. He caught Hanuman's eye as he did. The monkey king smiled and winked back.

Lutra took Otor down a broad corridor towards the palace gymn. Once they were out of sight of the throne room, he stopped them.

"Okay Squirt, what was that all about? You beg me to let you touch the trident!"

"Lutra..." Otor looked away for a moment. “Lord Hanuman told me that I look just like mother."

"Well... yeah, you do. So?"

"Lord Hanuman told me about Dementia."

"He killed mother... oh. Look... Squirt, I... I'm not trying to die, okay? But I'm a fighter and things happen and you're next in line..."

"I know, we keep talking about that! But father can't know you're teaching me the trident, it would break his heart! Just let him think I'm still the palace brat, okay?"

“Okay, I see what you mean.” Lutra grabbed Otor into a tight hug. "When did you get to be so grown up, huh?"

Lutra broke the hug, keeping an arm over Otor's shoulder. But Otor looked away.

“Lutra, I don't know if... Did I do something bad?”

Lutra gave Otor a quizical look. “You mean preventing a war that we couldn't have won or opening trade relations with millions of years advanced aliens?”

“Attacking Metal Coon! He's a good guy! I'm supposed to be on his side... URK!”

Lutra hugged Otor even tighter, laughing as only a sea otter can. “Hanuman's whiskers, Squirt!” he roared. “Everybody knows Randolph Murphy's elevator skips a few floors on the way to the top! His big head is brilliant, but under pressure he thinks with his little head and that's no better than any guy's. Everyone in Heroes of Legend has shot at him once or twice. Father calls it a rite of passage! Don't be mean to him, though. He's saved everybody's life a bunch of times and the world, too.” Lutra lead Otor on down the corridor."C'mon, Squirt. Your plan worked, you got your way today. By bed time, you're gonna wish you hadn't!"

Copyright © 2015 A.D. Burrows, All Rights Reserved

  NUMWORDS  4436  words

Allan D. Burrows Heroes of Legend – Also Ran Page   PAGE  9

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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by DOtter
I created the Heroes of Legend for the Furnal Equinox 2016 ConBook. (The theme for 2016 is superheroes.) I sent them a story titled "Origins -- Metal Coon." (Naturally I'm not posting that anywhere, yet.) It took three tries to get a story short enough for their 1,000 word limit. I'm posting my other two tries now. This is actually my first try.

In this "episode," a young sea otter with special powers tries out for the Heroes of Legend. Lord Hanuman, the Monkey God talks him out of it and sends him home, just as the whole world comes under threat, (again.) Can our young would-be hero prove himself worthy and earn his father's approval?

The thumbnail is just something I slapped together. I can't afford a better effort. If it offends you enough and you have a few minutes free time...

And please let me know if you'd like to see more of these!

Keywords
male 1,115,073, female 1,004,836, raccoon 34,091, cheetah 14,820, monkey 9,188, space 7,354, superhero 3,895, god 3,248, hero 2,961, metal 2,164, wolverine 1,479, gorilla 1,353, aliens 1,338, coon 1,288, heroes 704, legend 693, sea otter 511, superheroes 489, waves 441, demigod 366, osprey 221, invasion 128, super powers 44, poseidon 39, invaders 12, silverback 11, hanuman 7, v22 2, heroes of legend 1, speedblur 1, minicopter 1
Details
Type: Writing - Document
Published: 8 years, 1 month ago
Rating: General

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CyberCornEntropic
8 years, 1 month ago
An interesting duo of stories that focus on the consequences, both immediate and long term, of the loss of a beloved super hero teammate.  However, I can't help thinking that this still needs one more part, set a little bit further in the future.  Perhaps Metal Coon and Hanuman come to realize that Otor isn't his mother and should be allowed to grow up without living in his mother's shadow.  That this treatment of Otor is no better than believing the child of a supervillain is as rotten an apple as their parent ever was.
DOtter
8 years, 1 month ago
Interesting idea, I'll work on it! (And I don't mind saying I'm glad to be out from under that 1,000 word limit.)
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